Does one have a moral right to leave a relationship for whatever non-extreme reason, after having made a committment?
And what constitutes a committment? Is one morally obligated to remain with someone after they’ve said “I love you”?
Re: Staying in a Relationship
"I love you" statement is moral and ethical only after marriage anyway, hence the context of it. >>IMHO<<]
Re: Staying in a Relationship
So if it is uttered before marriage, its not an ethical statement? Why?
Why is it not ethical for someone to say I love you prior to marriage, and then just stick with that person? Why run away?
Re: Staying in a Relationship
you can't say "i love you" to a na-mehram before marriage..thats just how it is...its only gets legalized after marriage..
Re: Staying in a Relationship
But people still say it.
And by the way, this thread applies for marriages as well. If you have a spouse and you claim you are in love with them, and vice versa, then does it give you the moral right to just get up and leave for non-extreme reasons?
Re: Staying in a Relationship
Relationships must be kept even if they involve no commitment.
A commitment is an agreement by each and every person involved in that particular relationship. Relationships may be based on commitment that may involve verbal or written agreements but it is not necessary.
Re: Staying in a Relationship
dont tell me u asked someother dude for a date or if this time it got to a lil xtreme lol .. either way its funny .. ** I LOVE YOU ** might mean necessorily making up a commitment to u .. in my case it means ** lets have fun while we can **.
Re: Staying in a Relationship
*It is really sick. It is sad tht people do not understand the meaning, seriousness and importance of those 3 words"I LOVE YOU". *
*Gone are the days wen people actually knew the real meaning of committment. *
*First of all people use the i love you so casually. most of the time they never mean it. *
*and in this love thingy its never a one way traffice. its always two ways. both have to b serios and committed to each other and have to work towards sustaining and nurturing tht relationship till death. they are not aware of the rights and obligations of each other. *
*now as far as saying i love you before marriage is concerned wether it is ethical or not. If u ask hundred people all will answer it differently. some will say its ok and is nothing wrong and some will oppose. i think it really depends frm people to people. *
*Wat i believe is tht if u say I LOVE YOU to someone u shud really mean it and work towards strengthening ur realtionship and making it legal by getting married as soon as possible. *
wat i believe is tht marriage is a paper contract, a written one. the main contract is the one which two partners sign on each others heart and mind. Thts the most important one and stronger one. So believe in Love and b truthful and honest and kind and never in ur life do injustice with ur partner.
Re: Staying in a Relationship
Does one have a moral right to leave a relationship for whatever non-extreme reason, after having made a committment?
NO... Not at all, for Extreme Reasons ... YES
And what constitutes a committment? Is one morally obligated to remain with someone after they've said "I love you"?
If someone has made commitment to someone in I LU or Watever Form. That person should not Break His/Her commitment.
IF He/She Feels that, I have made the commitement but now I dont feel like I was, so in that case... He/She should Break it coz He/She is not being Fair to the person if still stick to the commitment made.
:)
Re: Staying in a Relationship
Who stopped PMing you again? 
Re: Staying in a Relationship
IMHO, some of us here are missing the more important factors. You get one life (as far as I know) and its your personal right to persue your own personal happiness.
If you find yourself "under obligation" to another and have said "I love you" whether it was meant at the time or not....if things change, as they often do, its better to end it than continue a farce. The other's personal happiness is at stake here too. So if love is not mutual then get the thing done and over, the sooner the better since the healing will begin and be done with all that much quicker.
Its quite another story once children arrive so just make sure to do the right things for yourself because there are other souls and potential souls involved here. Having a committment broken will be sure to cause gossip but better now than later on - after marriage or children.
Re: Staying in a Relationship
very nicely stated mamaof3 :k:
Re: Staying in a Relationship
why do marriages break? maybe relationships break for the same reasons as marriages but less severe? when you are in a marriage contract when something is unacceptable to one party, they think a 100 times before breaking it but in a relationship, one is not in a valid contract so they think escape is easier than being stuck in a marriage. And actually, in my opinion it is wiser not to enter a contract when one is not comfortable with the relationship alone. How is one supposed to spend lives together when they are not happy in their relationship?
Re: Staying in a Relationship
ppl still say I love you, and girls still fall for it....wow
Re: Staying in a Relationship
What a load of crap!
Re: Staying in a Relationship
Many people enter marrage and then say theylove an individual - only to run away hereafter so thats that.
Love is an emotion. Who are you to say that at that instant love was not felt. You cannot expect somthing so strong to be stangnent and unchanginig. And if - an individual feels no way out but to run, then sure it hurts, who are we to judge.
Re: Staying in a Relationship
If there's one thing I've learned it's that we never know what's in someone's heart. What's the point in talking about relationships and marriages when you aren't in them because it calls judgement on someone else's actions.
Re: Staying in a Relationship
what does love feel like? what do u feel like when you're in love? minus the intimacy
Re: Staying in a Relationship
"I love you" in any flaky relationship is meaningless, and even if you do mean it at the time, chances are the next day you'll be thinking, what the hell did I say. So I'd have to agree with AQ, true love coms after having spent years together, otherwise its just fleeting lust.
Re: Staying in a Relationship
You can be in love having spent years together before marriage. You'll know this when you genuinely care for the other person's happiness and put it before yours. You'd go out of your way to put a smile on their face. When that smile means the world to you, then you know its love. However if you don't and only do it because it makes YOU feel good, then its lust.