Re: Staying at a hotel instead of MIL's house during visit?
I can completely understand your plight Mano. Completely.
but Since we are discussing Islamic guidelines in relation to this scenario, am I the only one thinking this ? but when was it okay to have dogs in your home, especially where you pray? I thoughts dogs were considered najis? And of so, then how does any Islamic argument apply?
^ i was thinking the exact same thing! i don't know of any muslims (desi or not) that have both cats and dogs as pets indoors AND living under sordid conditions. you can't pray or be in a state of wudu if a dog has licked or rubbed against you. are his parents even slightly religious or pray namaz and follow the deen? what about you guys? you could use that as an argument.
also, you mentioned your husband has other siblings. will they be attending the wedding also? will they also be staying with the parents or do they live nearby the parents? can you guys stay with them if so?
sorry to sound slightly off topic...but did you know his parents lived in filth before you got married? did you or your family ever visit their home? do your parents know?
Re: Staying at a hotel instead of MIL's house during visit?
Funny that on one hand people suggesting to lie (allergy stuff) to the in-laws and on the other hand people referring to Islamic injunctions on it!
Why do we only have to care for only the rights offered by Islam, our culture and culture of the place we live in?
When it comes to obligations under desi culture ---> they are not Islamic.
When it comes to obligations under Islam ----> they are not compatible with the country I live in
When it comes to obligations under the adopted culture ---> they contradict our Pakistani values
and someone with the following signature writes an essay about having to spend a night at not-so-hygienic room her husband used to live in:
If your pride leads you to boast,you will be doubly guilty,
because your intelligence will have shown that it is incapable of controlling your pride.
*- Ibn Hazm *
Its not an "essay" it's called proper grammar and complete sentences.
I don't care about our culture or adopted culture, only religion. From what I've studied I am under no obligation to stay with them. If you read my post, you would see it was purely about me being uncomfortable with the hygiene issue, and nothing to do with pride.
also, not that it's any of your business but since you brought it up, my husband has not been living in their house for over 9 years now, 4 years uni and 4 years of training, the animals are new to the home after he moved out.
So really what you've shown is that you are incapable of withholding judgment when you don't know all the facts of a persons situation. I didn't come on here and talk smack about my inlaws and complain about their temperament or their personalities or that I don't like them as people. I simply asked for advice for a particular situation out of concern for them and their feelings, so if you can't offer anything constructive then go find another thread to troll.
Re: Staying at a hotel instead of MIL's house during visit?
^ i was thinking the exact same thing! i don't know of any muslims (desi or not) that have both cats and dogs as pets indoors AND living under sordid conditions. you can't pray or be in a state of wudu if a dog has licked or rubbed against you. are his parents even slightly religious or pray namaz and follow the deen? what about you guys? you could use that as an argument.
also, you mentioned your husband has other siblings. will they be attending the wedding also? will they also be staying with the parents or do they live nearby the parents? can you guys stay with them if so?
sorry to sound slightly off topic...but did you know his parents lived in filth before you got married? did you or your family ever visit their home? do your parents know?
When my family used to visit before the marriage, the house used to be clean and no animals were inside at the time. I don't want to tell my parents now cuz what are they gonna do except get pareshaan about me.
All the siblings are younger and live in the same home, he's the eldest of all of them. They are not as religious as my husband, so if we used that as an excuse we'd get a lot of "thanz", and bohot baatein sunne kp milti hain. His parents tell him to shave his beard, and say we are too conservative so they won't really respect a religious excuse.
I'd prefer to be honest with them but I also want to be gentle and I really don't know how to address this, also like I said before, it's their home, I don't care how they keep it but its a problem for me when I visit and it becomes my problem when they force us to stay with them, and I can foresee it being a problem if they wish to live with me because I can't live like that I prefer a much tidier living arrangement.
Re: Staying at a hotel instead of MIL's house during visit?
Because of our Pakistani culture, I'm afraid this will hurt the feelings of his parents, so i would be willing to forego my own comfort for them, but is that the right thing to do? I don't know.
.......I don't care about our culture or adopted culture, only religion. From what I've studied I am under no obligation to stay with them.......
Then there is no issue, just ignore whatever people might say and stay in the hotel. Why even ask when you are under no Islamic obligation to even attend the wedding?