Staying at a hotel instead of MIL's house during visit?

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Re: Staying at a hotel instead of MIL’s house during visit?

@Deeba1234

This and the housing issue don’t have to overlap and obligations in marriage go two ways..

1. sons obligations and housing issue dont ‘have’ to overlap, but they often can. If there is financial support needed by the parents then what can be afforded by the son decreases, so instead of the semi detached in the posh postal code, you get a basement flat in a so so place. The responsibility is to provide for a house.

2. obligations go two ways indeed, never said they did not. But the one bringing up rights by a certain code must be willing to then field all obligations by the same code as well.

@Deeba1234

Ours seems to be the only culture which interprets ‘care for your parents’ as ‘live in their home forever’.. even if there isn’t enough space or privacy..

actually the other part applies as well, where sons get their own house and then ask their parents to live with them as they are older and need more help.
space and privacy is relative anyways.

@Deeba1234

Also, when it comes to how women behave etc. many of the rules also apply to men (but again you’d never guess from culture).. If a husband has a problem with his wife being in a mixed environment or having friends of the opposite sex he should also stop doing those things himself (how many actually do?).. Most wives don’t expect things from their husbands which they don’t do themselves..

Sure agreed 100%, but the one who wants rights as dictated by islam, must also be willing to have her actions dictated by the same guidelines regardless of what the husband does. I see your point that it is hypocritical for one to expect someone to follow guidelines that one does not follow himself…that is debatable because if that standard is demanded by the wife then whether or not her husband follows the rest of it, she should. My point is that is is even more hypocritical for someone who wants rights by any standard but then would not want to abide by the same standard where it does not suit her.

But thats for religious people to figure out, I prefer common sense, decency, civility and maturity over tossing hadeeth out, and that is why I mentioned that it can backfire as I have seen it backfire before. You dont need to convince me since these sort of topics dont become ‘issues’ for me.