For all those wives happily using hubby’s credit cards, taking cash from wallet etc. have you ever thought long term in case of divorce/separation/death? I feel Housewives still need their own personal credit cards and bank accounts with loads of activity to build a good credit score and strong financial history. It happens so often that you find out husband has a lady on the side and despite having some stash of savings etc. most women are clueless about how they can leave the husband and actually start life all over again. A job might be easier to find than building an entire credit history that can help you buy your own home or even apply for a rental!
Re: Husband in control of finances
This is why I believe NO ONE should ever depend on another person to provide for them. It’s not about trust but freedom. Being self-reliant is freedom. Being able to provide for yourself and others is so much better than being provided for.
FYI, I will know before he does if and when he gets a side chick. ![]()
Re: Stay-at-Home Wives & Financial Security
^^Agreed 100% ![]()
Too bad our community doesn’t function this way…it fears that type of self-empowering attitude in a woman. She quickly gets labeled as “trying to be western.”
Re: Stay-at-Home Wives & Financial Security
Or a feminazi. Makes no sense to me.
Re: Stay-at-Home Wives & Financial Security
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Re: Stay-at-Home Wives & Financial Security
this is where divorce lawyers come in.
Re: Stay-at-Home Wives & Financial Security
Alimony after the divorce maybe. Makes sure none of the two are financially unstable.
Also, many divorcees most likely will go ahead and try to find a job.
The idea of asking someone else for money statement makes me cringe. I think every person should work, shouldn’t depend on someone else but asking your husband for money is your right as a wife. He is supposed to give you money for your needs. Please ladies he is not “someone else”. As long as you are not wasting his money here and there, shopping, living extravagant lifestyle, your financial needs/wants should be fulfilled by him. He works outside and you work in the house. Half of the women don’t ask for money from their husbands because they think they have no right over it.
And yes on topic, being able to have freedom is important. What if God forbid something bad happens to your spouse.
I think when u have kids it’s hard for some women to work. Esp in countries like the US where maternal leave is pretty much nonexistant… if u have no family around to help with kids that adds to the reasons why it would be better for one person to stay at home.
In my case, my husband and i are pretty set in that as long as kids are at home, i won’t work. When i didn’t have my son i was a full-time sudent finishing my undergrad… when he was born i had a semester left to finish and it was very very difficult. Each case is different - i’m someone who can do one thing at a time. For me, work will be a doable option when my son starts school.
So like a previous poster stated, everyone’s circumstances are different. We should try and make the best of whatever situation we are dealt with.
Re: Stay-at-Home Wives & Financial Security
Why you ladies think that, God forbid, something will happen to your husbands? How about a little bit of positivity ?
What about if something happens to you then what will happen to your husband & kids? Ever thought about that? How about finding him a girl, while you are alive, who can marry her & become his wife & step mother to your kids as a back up plan when you die/get divorced/ cheat on your husband?
Re: Stay-at-Home Wives & Financial Security
BIG difference between JUST being a housewife and expecting to be taken care of financially and being a mother and expecting to be taken care of financially by your husband. I don’t understand the expectation housewives have who have minimal work at home to begin with but I completely understand expecting your husband to pay for you and child expenses because you are friggn’ busy running errands, doing chores, and looking after the little ones crawling around. BIG BIG difference.
If you are just as educated and qualified as your husband and don’t have kids yet, what are you doing with your time? Seems wasteful to me.
Re: Stay-at-Home Wives & Financial Security
haha..good luck trying to sell that to your wife.
Re: Stay-at-Home Wives & Financial Security
This is hilarious! ![]()
Re: Stay-at-Home Wives & Financial Security
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Re: Stay-at-Home Wives & Financial Security
Your “logic” makes no sense. My husband is an adult. He has a job, can support himself financially, and he is more can capable of finding a new wife if he chooses to do so if I die tomorrow. I personally do not have kids but even if I did, if I die then my husband will get full custody and he will take care of the kids. And BTW, lawyers who deal with probate will tell you that it’s a good idea to include in your will who you and your husband feel should get custody of minor children in case BOTH of you die at the same time…including appointing someone as trustee of all finances until the kids are adults (assuming BOTH parents die at the same time).
Oh…and in the event we get divorced/he cheats and married that woman…obviously husband on his own has chosen the step-mother so there’s not much I can do.
Re: Stay-at-Home Wives & Financial Security
you don’t like hubbies too much…
Things don’t have to become nasty for women to live on their full potential.
They could just do it.
Specially if women is of the kind who lose sleep over hubby being such a jerk, who would abandon his children and their mother.
Also if hubby is not such kind then should see shrink as well…
Re: Stay-at-Home Wives & Financial Security
You can build good credit history by getting a few credit cards in your name. Just get some secured credit cards at first. The way those work are that you get a credit card against let’s say $200 that you keep with the credit card company and you can spend against that amount only. There may be an annual fee. Once you spend and a credit history is established, you can cancel your credit card and get no annual fee ones made. It does not take that long.
Regarding cash, you can ask your husband to give you a set amount of cash each month. That money would be used by you to purchase groceries primarily but if you use the money wisely you may be able to buy clothes and other necessities for yourself and your kids and save some money too. It’s a very old trick used by our mothers or grandmas but it still works. It would free you also by asking him each time you need to buy something. You will be amazed how frugal you will become and how smartly you shop and save on groceries and other stuff using this method. Try to see if you can convince him. Don’t need to tell him the whole story just tell him groceries and stuff as needed. That way he can plan his month too because he has given you a set amount of money without being bothered from time to time.
Job etc comes after that because obviously child care is expensive and you may not be immediately employable due to visa restrictions or other issues.
Re: Stay-at-Home Wives & Financial Security
A woman that recently came to the US right after the wedding knows that her husband is seeing another woman but she has no job and yes she has visa restrictions right now. He has a picture of their wedding photo on his cellphone when he’s around in public and around her. What a loon.
Re: Stay-at-Home Wives & Financial Security
Secured credit cards and secured loans are a good idea if you don’t have anyone(with good credit history) who can make you an authorized user on a couple of their credit cards. Convincing your husband to make you an authorized user is a faster way to build credit though. Alternatively, you could ask your parents or sibling to do that for you, if that’s an option.
Re: Stay-at-Home Wives & Financial Security
I love my hubby thank you very much. This question just popped up in my mind after reading the other thread about husband controlling finances. I just wondered with all the husband wife issues on this forum how helpless women must feel when they realize that all those years of staying home don’t just mean that u don’t have private savings but also that you are nonexistent in the eyes of banks and financial institutions who decide your “worth” in terms of financial security.