As everyone is so keen on jumping on this equality bus these days…
How many are there? I mean in desis, do they exist?Not talking about exceptions of course. Is there any on this forum?
Questions to guys:
Those who are married on this forum, would you become a stay at home dad? Those who are not, have you ever considered this thought?
Would you guys leave your career/job & move to some other place so your wife can progress in her career as she is making more money?
Re: Stay At Home Dads
That is a good point. There is a good reason most men don’t think like this. Psychologically, men are programmed to provide. It makes them feel good. That’s reason number one. The second reason is most women believe they should have the right to not work after wasting thousands of dollars in student loans because they have ovaries. Unless women change their mindset, most men will never even dare to think that they have this choice. Society stigmatizes men who want to be care takers at home. We call them all sorts of names. Society on the whole needs to change how it defines gender roles. I hate gender roles.
Re: Stay At Home Dads
Does 2-3 years of stay-at-home-dad counts? 
If yes, then been there, done that.
and depending on one’s career, they might not have to leave/switch it. I talked to my employer at the time and since they valued my services, they allowed me work from home.
Re: Stay At Home Dads
@aahmed is the perfect man to answer this for you. He’s done both 
Re: Stay At Home Dads
Re: Stay At Home Dads
@khattichic Well, my wife DOES make more money than me and we just recently moved across the country so that she could find a better job as she technically has a more lucrative career. I have also provided primary care to our daughter, but I was a stay at home dad for only about 6 months and I did continue to work from home.
With that said, I don’t think I could be a full time stay at home dad, not because of “Log kya kahain ge” or the stigma, but because I know my kid would drive me bat-$hit crazy if I had to spend every minute of every hour with her. Secondly, I’m the kind of person who needs to DO something. If I wasn’t working, I’d do projects, I’d build things.
As far as the stigma, listen, desis will mock you no matter what, you have no idea how many of my Pakistani acquaintances constantly mock me and say “Tumhari to biwi kamaati hai, tum kyooN kaam karte ho?”, it is their way of trying to put me down, but I don’t really care. If you want to really talk about it, then remember, that the Prophet’s wife was the breadwinner in their relationship, Khadija was the business owner and he worked FOR her. So there’s no shame there.
I just go with the flow, God gives in exact measure and if He decided to give my wife more, then know that He is the best planner. I’m also blessed enough to be married to a woman who regardless of the fact that she makes about 3x more money than me, asks ME before she spends it and is always the first to remind me that I’m the captain of the ship and that we make decisions together. It is God’s mercy on us that we have NEVER, in 15 years of marriage, fought over money. I think that a big part of that is because we got married young and grew together through bad times and good.
Re: Stay At Home Dads
As a DESI husband, you were willing to relocate for your WIFE’s career.
You agreed/chose to be a stay-at-home dad for 6 months while you wife worked her full-time job.
This is MUCH more than what most other desi men would be willing to do. Between you and Decent…2 desi men just on GS alone willing to be stay-at-home dad’s even on a temporary basis shows that there are desi men out there who are willing to compromise. While this may not a common situation, it’s almost not as insane as some people make it out to be.
Re: Stay At Home Dads
You are a wise man and THIS is true respect. You sound like my husband. He is a wise man like yourself. I am so proud of him because of the kind of person he is. Every time I read a post here, I realize I have married a man ahead of his time, so mature and grateful. He is my biggest fan and I am his…
Re: Stay At Home Dads
Subhanallah. If only there were more men who thought like you. May Allah bless you and your wife together and place more love, understanding and mercy between you. And may He shower His peace, mercy and blessings upon you both and your children, keep you all on the straight path and grant you every good thing in this world and hereafter. Ameen.
This post has made my day 
Re: Stay At Home Dads
Ameen!!! ^ @aahmed and wifey truly are a great pair Mashallah! May Allah swt always keep them in his grace and protection! Ameen!
Re: Stay At Home Dads
Aww shucks, thanks guys.
Re: Stay At Home Dads
Have considered… don’t mind re moving.
Not going to be a stay at home dad though unless it was absolutely necessary for some reason.
Re: Stay At Home Dads
You’re just saying that to keep your GS stalkers at bay 
Re: Stay At Home Dads
Eg 1 myself. My husband was between jobs and I was working. He stayed home for a few months. I got a nanny though because stay at home parents deserve a break too!
Eg 2 One of our Indian Muslim friends, mom is a cardiologist and dad works in IT. The minute they had their second baby, the dad quit his job even though baby goes to daycare for some time ( he’s two now and the older one is 8).
-Eg 3 one of our acquaintances, an engineer who had his masters from the US, couldn’t wait for his wife to get her residency, so he could quit his job and become a stay at home dad.
Eg 4 guy with multiple engineering degrees and works for a large corporation. Wife is a doctor. They have one daughter, mom had to move to New York and dad took a long long leave of absence kind of thing to stay home. Even though daughter is 14 now.
Re: Stay At Home Dads
did they continue to be responsible for financial contribution after becoming stahd
Re: Stay At Home Dads
I don’t think Indians count. 
Re: Stay At Home Dads
If they weren’t working, they were not contributing. How could they?
Re: Stay At Home Dads
Indian Muslims are still quite conservative. But then again out of 4 ain’t bad!
Re: Stay At Home Dads
Is that a preference of any real men, I would say no. If someone is somehow in that position that’s something totally different.
Men can’t be at stay-home-dads because men can’t stay home all the time. Men can’t breath by staying at home all the time.
As far as career growth part is concerned why not. A break from work never hurts anyone.
As far as I’m concerned I will always want to be the one who’s providing for my family, for men that’s a way of loving their spouse and family.
Just imagine a scenario where your wife is asking you to buy her something and in that whole moment you guys are real close together and you get the opportunity to have fun in that moment which I’m not going to explain. But the point is in that very moment what you can feel is something very sexy.
Psychologically speaking men want to do stuff for their wives because that makes them feel good about their relationships specially when their wives ask them to buy them some stuff or something. But on the other hand if a woman is someone who doesn’t have to do that because she can have anything she wants you don’t get those moments I’m talking about.
There can be many reasons of similar nature.
Re: Stay At Home Dads
Yes, men buying stuff is what makes relationships work..
This might be a strange concept for you to grasp but I’m with my husband because I love and care for him, not because I ‘need’ him..
