exactly pd. Ive seen some of these ABCD/FOB girls and toba toba...mera tou wuddu hee toot jayee...only a retard would marry a girl from here(states) and not do some sort of investigation of her social life.
Oh excuse me lussi.
Narrated Abu Huraira:
Allah's Apostle said, "A prostitute was forgiven by Allah, because, passing by a panting dog near a well and seeing that the dog was about to die of thirst, she took off her shoe, and tying it with her head-cover she drew out some water for it. So, Allah forgave her because of that."
And lussi, do you really think that gives us a right to judge a woman's past, if Allah can forgive a prostitute, we DARE judge a woman? And oh, i hope you know, attacking a woman's character is a huge sin.
- Sarah
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*Originally posted by lussi: *
exactly pd. Ive seen some of these ABCD/FOB girls and toba toba...mera tou wuddu hee toot jayee...only a retard would marry a girl from here(states) and not do some sort of investigation of her social life.
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Hmm then you are calling a lot of us Desi's who married a west brought up girl retards ???
Get a life kiddo, get off your highhorse, Masha'Allah some of the women here in the states have much better iman than most women ive known in my life. One such woman is my wife.
omg this thread is providing some much needed comic relief on this forum
Sarah, don’t you get it? If she’s an “ABCD” or “confused” girl from North America, it’s o.k. to judge and label her. Totally acceptable. God forbid anybody question men’s behaviour and ‘loose’ ways, but that’s a different issue altogether I guess. I should also note that it’s also not possible at all for desi people (both guys and girls) who are living in Pakistan to go buck wild. After all, we can always do a background check of their sexual history. :k:
(note: sarcasm)
since we are talking about checks..run a std test on him too and a drug test...they are more imp :-D
and bacho this trust thing sounds really good and all that.. however, this world is full of crazy ppl..being a guy i won't mind not doing a background check if i trust her...however, for my sis i would like to make sure that the guy is who he claims to be.
sarah - where am i judging these women? They can be as promoscious as they want. i dont give a jack but if id want to develop a relationship with her then it does matter.
maniac- no im not calling u a retard. I'm just saying that it would be utterly foolish for a guy to marry a girl here without find out out sthing abt her social life. Now ofcourse, not every girl here is indulging in debauchary but there is no way to tell. Shikaal sey tou sabb sharif lagti hain..so thats y u gotta do some detective work. Then again, it depends on the person, some guys might not mind abt their spouse's past "wild" life but i sure as hell don't want a village bycycle..nomesayn..
mehnaz...well i think thats our culture..girls are kept on a shorter leash..for guys it is understood that they would do some hanky panky here and there..duplicity?? yep but thats how i guess things are..
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by lussi: *
sarah - where am i judging these women? They can be as promoscious as they want. i dont give a jack but if id want to develop a relationship with her then it does matter.
maniac- no im not calling u a retard. I'm just saying that it would be utterly foolish for a guy to marry a girl here without find out out sthing abt her social life. Now ofcourse, not every girl here is indulging in debauchary but there is no way to tell. Shikaal sey tou sabb sharif lagti hain..so thats y u gotta do some detective work. Then again, it depends on the person, some guys might not mind abt their spouse's past "wild" life but i sure as hell don't want a village bycycle..nomesayn..
mehnaz...well i think thats our culture..girls are kept on a shorter leash..for guys it is understood that they would do some hanky panky here and there..duplicity?? yep but thats how i guess things are..
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Lussi, as per recent topics in General and other forums you find village bycicles in pakistan. The guys and girls i see in pakistan are just as bad as the skanks you describe here. But let me say it again, the religious women i see here are really high in iman, because it takes a lot to be religious here.
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by lussi: *
mehnaz...well i think thats our culture..girls are kept on a shorter leash..for guys it is understood that they would do some hanky panky here and there..duplicity?? yep but thats how i guess things are..
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Yeah, I know. I was just being sarcastic, mainly in response to Phoenixdesi's post. I agree with Maniac ... if a person wants to be promiscuous, don't limit it to "ABCD" girls only ... you'll find girls and guys like that everywhere, even in Pakistan.
Anyway, how come girls tend to be more forgiving when it comes to this? A lot of girls wouldn't mind if their partner had 'been around', yet guys are more unwilling to forgive a girl for her past mistakes. I'm going based on things I have read here on GS over the past few years. I see comments here time and time again about this. It's interesting how girl's are more willing to compromise on this issue than men are.
oh please...
lussi baji, i hardly think someone whose signature refers to oral sex performed on a guy is in any position to be talking about how "immoral and disgusting" us girls raised in the west are.
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by phoenixdesi: *
dear FG, ok fine, say some one does the back ground check and every thing comes clean and he ends up marrying that woman. After 2 years he comes to know she was sleeping with a guy during her undergrad……now what….i guess back ground check is only effective to some extent…..dude if you have a little bit experience of hanging out in desi party circle in a big city in north America ( Toronto, Chicago, Houston, NY), you will find so many Pakistani ABCD girls in these desi parties who belong to religious families. They openly say that they will have as much fun as possible during their undergrad college life because later on their religious dad will force them to marry some NUT anyways…..I have personally met some really decent paki girls who after becoming friends told me about their sexual experiences. One of them was going to the law school with extremely rich and well-educated background. Being a law student, of course her back ground check would be A plus but…..anyways…..Having said that I also agree that majority of the Muslim girls in north America are decent and do not involve in haram stuff.
But there are many who play the double game quite effectively. I have spent many years in Chicago and have personally witnessed many dramas of these ABCDs….no wonder they are confused.
In Pakistan, every thing is not fair either but it is much easier to find the reputation of a girl back home. Given the close society back home, people poke noses into each other business all the times and therefore, it becomes very easy to find out all “ details” but in north America it is quite difficult…..my advice is to watch out becuase we are talking abt marriage here..not a one nite stand....
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PD why does it matter to you if she does have a past?
n why does it matter if a woman has had sex?
not being a virgin does not automatically mean you are of loose character. not that im saying it's right to have sex before marriage, but really it's not upt o us to judge.
Sara: please mind your language. Edited by Shahreen
maniac..i think chances of finding a village bycycles are greater here than in pakiland. I don't know why..perhaps there is a greater parental supervision back home?
mehnaz...i dont know..maybe guys think thats it easier for them to get tempted than girls..so they are less willing to cut them any slack..and again it depends on the culture too...
sara516...thanda paani peeou
you know i’m right 
I'm getting a sense of deja-vu here. Didn't we discuss this the other day Sara?
Oh yeah and if somebody has had sex before marriage, yes I can consider her to be of loose character. Isn't it obvious?
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by Fita: *
I'm getting a sense of deja-vu here. Didn't we discuss this the other day Sara?
Oh yeah and if somebody has had sex before marriage, yes I can consider her to be of loose character. Isn't it obvious?
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and what about a guy who has sex before marriage?
No he's cool, he's a player.
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by Fita: *
No he's cool, he's a player.
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u are an idiot
well i apologize if i hurt some one's emotions....all i was saying that if some one has a problem with his/her potential partner's past, it is better to be careful and do some research before getting married. i dont see anything wrong with it. however if some one does not care abt his/her potential spouse's past, then no problem. it is that simple.
plus i was not declaring all US girls bad girls.....i clearly said in my post that majority of US gals are not involved in harram stuff and YEs it takes a lot of effort to keep your imman in west....but it is also a reality that there are many double sided muslim gals and one should be little careful (if you care abt it)..... i was not declaring every one bad....i used to live in chicago for many years and besides desi parties i happened to go to Annual ISNA convention every year....i have seen many dramas at these religous conventions.....
and i never said that back home every thing is just fine......i am in touch with "active" crowd back home and i know whats going on there......all i said that it is easier to do back ground checks back home....i wish people read posts more carefully before jumping all over.........
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by phoenixdesi: *
well i apologize if i hurt some one's emotions....all i was saying that if some one has a problem with his/her potential partner's past, it is better to be careful and do some research before getting married. i dont see anything wrong with it. however if some one does not care abt his/her potential spouse's past, then no problem. it is that simple.
plus i was not declaring all US girls bad girls.....i clearly said in my post that majority of US gals are not involved in harram stuff and YEs it takes a lot of effort to keep your imman in west....but it is also a reality that there are many double sided muslim gals and one should be little careful (if you care abt it)..... i was not declaring every one bad....i used to live in chicago for many years and besides desi parties i happened to go to Annual ISNA convention every year....i have seen many dramas at these religous conventions.....
and i never said that back home every thing is just fine......i am in touch with "active" crowd back home and i know whats going on there......all i said that it is easier to do back ground checks back home....i wish people read posts more carefully before jumping all over.........
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I agree with you mate.