Re: [Split Thread] The Joint Family System
I can give an opinion of what I’ve seen from an arranged setup–during the whole rishta process, both sides might behave differently. Looking at someone for rishta purposes, they’ll behave a certain way, which may not be consistent much longer after the actual marriage has taken place. So being able to get along with the guy’s family before and after are two different things. Even if the wife was willing to initially live with the in-laws, things can change, such as the arrival of another member in the family, like another brother’s wife. Though she may have not had trouble getting along with his family as it was before they got married, the dynamics can change in such cases. Also, the guy’s family could mislead the girl’s family at rishta time, showing that they’re really well off. But the financial commitments the guy has might result in her having to live with a standard less than what they led to expect. In any of the above circumstances, I couldn’t fault her for wanting a separate place.
The one case where I would tell her to deal with it is if she wasn’t deceived, then had one or more concerns but didn’t bring it up when she had the chance to. She knew she had something to say but chose not to say it at the right time and then chose to complain later.