Spending Quality Time with Kids

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how do you give your child the most of your time?

be it a SAHM or working mum… how do you give your child quality time?

most of you know, I work full-time and have been for most of munchkin’s lil life..

during her daycare/preschool years, even though she had a loong day, i did feel i spent enough time with her and was on top of things.

But now with school, I feel like im running around like a headless murghi trying to cope with her school stuff. Infact im embarrassed when i find letters in her school bag that i should have read like a week ago… I didnt realise she had missed two weeks of show and tell!!

But this time round, i put reminders all over the home and work to keep upto date with her things… but besides that, its the quality time. Im finding, I’m just not getting enough of it with her… Im hoping once on maternity leave… i may get more time, but is that just wishful thinking? I dunno..

help? ideas?

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re: Spending Quality Time with Kids

:hugz:

sadzz my 2 year old has not yet started her school but what I plan to do is put the circulars or whatever received from her school on the fridge. Recently , I had to religiously follow registration dates for admission given by various schools which is only for 1 day in any academic year (so I could not afford to miss them) and I used to put the print outs on my house fridge , it was easily to follow since I see fridge like 5-6 times a day and my mom may be more than 10 times a day. Plus , I write the dates & stuff to remember on my office desk calendar. You can also use your mobile phone for reminder but IMO once you look at the time you can forget about it but if the prints are there posted somewhere it gets difficult to miss them.

Now a day after I go home all my time is Guriya’s time. I cook dinner for her everyday , she stays with me even in the kitchen when I am cooking then I feed her the food. We watch Barney when she is eating . It’s good quality time we have together everyday. We draw things with crayons. We play with play dough , read picture books and so many other things. Offcourse I still sometimes feel the way you do but I really don’t have any other option than to work for her better future.

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Sadzzz,

[QUOTE]
how do you give your child the most of your time?
[/QUOTE]

You shouldn't work, that's how.

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Sadzz...i dont think its got anything to do with a working mom...i k ow plenty of stay at home moms that should just have their kids taken from them...useless parents

To be on top with what is going on in your child's life requires an intrested parent.

Yes i kow that a working mom may not have the same kinda time that a sahm does... But i think its doable

Im due to joining school once again...will have 2 kids in daycare.. Half day only.

So far i put all notices on the fridge door... Quality time made me feel soo depressed when i was pregnant cuz i was always out of breath due to anameia... Its really hard when prwgnant...try weekends where you do things with your daughter...catch up on whats going on in her life ? Weekdays didnt work for quali time for me cuz ...there IS no time! He has to be in bed by 7 so he gets his full sleep of 12 hours (yes..i know)... He comes home at 2... In that i havta feed him..have him take his nap..and throw in a 5 monthold for good measure....

So weekends it is,... I dont cook on weekends...its either the husband ...or i cook something diff for both days on fri... Maybe you could prepsre something light for weekends just so you arentin the kitchen on a weekend..the whole day?

Also...be the one to put her to bed and help her unwind? Story time etc

I think you will do much better once the baby is here and you have your self back...

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Everyone says you'll have plenty of time left for yourself when you put your kids in school. haha

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hey khawa... yeah thats what i why i said SAHM and working mothers... i forgot to change my title though.. woops. I know SAHM have a pretty full-on day, especially if they've got drop-offs and pick-ups to do..

weekdays are so hard... i do try to spend the few hours i have with her before sleep, just doign random things... more like random silly conversations while im cooking. I try to get her involved with the dinner preparation. At times it becomes sooooo trying, i guess cus of the pregnancy. I'm suffering the "hard to breathe" thing too... so our normal, run up the stairs routine is not working... i feel so bad :( we usually have this this thing where i chase her up the stairs before shower-time... cant do that these days..

weekends were good... we were doing swimming one day... or she'd go for golf with daddy on another day...

lets see, im just feeling i dont spend enough time with her. She's Mashallah a very happy child, so it makes me think, im doing ok. But you know, the guilty feeling.

jaan leva get a life

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re: Spending Quality Time with Kids

you know you can't get or give that either if you work full time ;)

hayee banda jaye tou kahan jaye, banda karey tou kya kare

use this formula

whats important?

kids or money? kids.

career or kids? kids.

you got masters and you are wasting it at home? Not really, home school your kids, teach them what you know... thats value.

its not hard to make such choices, i guess for some people, money/career is more important than kids so they pretend they are confused... "oh main kya karoon, kuch samajh nahi ata" samajh ata hai, logon ka dil nahi karta paisay chhorne ka bachon ki balai ke leye

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oh, this lecture again :)

confused about what? whether i should be at home or at work? no confusion there.

I know what im doing is for the betterment of my child(ren) and hopefully one day they will appreciate what I appreciate my parents for. Ive got not qualms about working.

My child always comes first. And i know, keeping at her home does no good for her intellectually, socially and mentally. She's a bright child Mashallah se, and she needs challenges to keep her going.. she needs interaction with people other than Mama to satisfy her need to grown and learn.

I cant give her all that. The first to admit it. And hats off to those mums, who can give them all that at home.

She's Mashallah a very happy child. And i dont take credit for that. I believe its her personality.

All I asked was, how to mothers in general (SAHMs and full-time working mums) manage giving their kids the best of their time.

And to be very honest, I dont think I am not there for my daughter whenever she needs me. She's Mashallah a very well balanced child.. and I am exceptionally proud of her.

But, like many mothers... I do struggle to give spend more quality time with my child. Ive got many SAHM friends.. and they too have similar issues. So please, refrain from giving me a lecture on money and career.. :) thank you

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I can change the title for you, sadzzz. Let me know what you would rather it say?

"Finding time for quality time?" or something else?

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yeah Sahar, that would be great! :) "Spending Quality Time with Kids"

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:rolleyes: seriously, not everything is that simple.

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jaan leva, seriously are u married, do u even have kids if u are married. Not every working woman walking out of her home is doing it to fulfill her 'wants'. A lot of them are out working to help the household or trying to put something away for their kids' future. A WORKING MOTHER IS NEITHER A BAD MOTHER NOR A SELFISH MOTHER. We all have circumstances and situations that require us to do what we do, to make the choices we make.

Seriously some ppl naa. And i agree with khawa not all SAHM are perfect and I have seen a lot of them really frustrated and agitated with their kids thus ignoring them more or letting them be. A little time away doesnt always work against kids sometimes it can work for the kids too because they get quality time rather than just having a parent who is a zombie.

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sadzz- I have so many people around me who glves me muft mashwara that I should quit my job and spend all my time with her and saying
"akhir bachay ko maa ki tawajo ki zaroorat hoti hai" as if they know better for my child than I do. Just ignore them !

See the way I see things is that as your daughter will grow and will advance in her studies she will get more and more busy and she will spend more and more time in her schools , library & group studies etc. So the initial 4-6 years are the one when kids have alot of time in their hands and I am sure if mothers try we can give our children best attention in the time available in our hands. To me I would rather struggle and work hard in her initial years and be able to provide for her better education and living then to quit everything for first few years and then suffer later on.

The above is just my perspective I know many people would disagree with me but we all have very different sets of problems and opportunities in hand. No body's life is PERFECT what we need to do is to make good use of the things will have to make our lives better.

Only a PARENT can know and decide what is best for his/her child so trust yourself.

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Jaan leva....can you pls NOT spoil this thread.

If you want, jist go open a new onwcand post tjis topic there. (which HAS been done to death btw).

Honesyly.....if sadzzz doesnt mibd.... Mods should remove the sub topic of why do mothers work ...from this thread. A perfectly good topic is getting derailed.

Thank you.

Jaan leva: think outside yhe box for once rather than within the confines of our easy to judge culture :)

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sadzz, are you feeling this way because your daughter has said something or are you fearful that with the new baby on the way you wanna spend more time with your daughter?

I think it is best to make the time you spend with her great, my mom was a SAHM mom but as we grew older we needed her less and less and our quality time was when she was in the kitchen, I would stand next to her and hear her stories, or at lunch time when it was just her and us kids.
The one thing I did like as a young kid was having my mom pick me up from the bus stop,

So maybe try and see what your daughter likes best and make that a must do.

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Sadzz… U know when i was prwg the seconf time…midet was not even 2… By the end of my preg he was 2.5… Throughout the preg i felt ultra guilty cuz he would just play by himself… I would try toplay witth him just like ihad always but it wouldnt even last half an hour… We had moved during the pregnancy and set up e apt…we now lived on te bottom floor yeti was still not able to take him to the playground… I just had absolutely o breath in me… He would go on the slides etc at daycare…and athome… It was indoor play… During the weekdays it wasnt so bad cuz there was no real free time…between naps and food and bedtime

But on weekends… Boy did i feel guilty…thankfully the mr would entetain him but i still felt like i had failed him… To ME thats how it looked… Midget didnt complain…he played all he wanted… Got his home cooked food…always happy and smiling

Once i gave birth…things got super crazy bit we lept it together…midget was still centre of attention… There were days he felt a bit left out…but we were always good at pulling him back in…newborna dont need attention…

Genie is nearly 6 months mashallah… And i am there in every way for midget…its back to the same ol me…he still gets more attention than genie cuz he requires it… Now that i have my breath back and energy…its all good! We have a brilliant routine… And the siblings are loving it!

I think what you are feeling is a temp ting…dont feel guilty…just try your best…i swear its all the pregnancy and not being able to breathe… Once you are done and dont have something feeding on your energy reserves…you will be back to the ebergetic u and you can doit all with your kids,… Ofcourse initially when the baby is born tings will get mad…but then you willzettle down…everyone will find there place…

Hang in there… :huz:

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the key word is **quality **so it could 10 minutes in the car ride that you bond with her or the 10 minutes bedtime.

I use to get frazzled too but I had to set my priorites straight. I have limited my household errands and kitchen work to the wekeends. On weekdays the emphasis goes on kids, their school work, activities, their Quran.

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diamong, autumn, khawateen, na munchkin has never complained about not getting enough time from me... yeah she complains about hubby not spending time with her on the weekends when he's busy with computer games :D. but not me. Infact, she's very protective of whatever that gets said in regards to me... very alert about anything negative that comes my way and always on her feet to correct people..

your right khawa, I am prob feeling this way cus of the pregnancy. Not being able to run around as much as I was able to before is making me feel guitly as. We do a lot of chit chatting and catching up on her friends and school life... so that's always nice. Its a very girly girly relationship we have :)

njga ur right, its the 10 minutes of quality time that means more than the quanity.. even 10 minutes of chores together is good quality time.. I think..

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sadzz…don’t beat yourself up too much…it doesn’t matter if you’re sahm or working outside the house, we all have the same guilts/worries towards our children. i work at my kids’ school and still forget their due dates/picture day/field trip permission forms all the time!!! :smack:

and i agree with the quality over quantity…i’ve done it all…stayed at home full time, ran my own busy real estate practice/property management company, and now recently, working at my kids’ school…and through out all of that we have set one day aside as “family day” only…and that is Sunday. The kids go to Sunday School, then we’ll either go out for lunch/dinner, or catch a movie, or spend the day outdoors…My husband and I try to do minimal errands/housework on Sunday, and we rarely except any dawat invites for sundays…alot of times he’ll end up taking the boys to their taya’s so that they can chill with his family too…

Like Devi said, we’re all trying to do right by our kids, and I’m sure you’re an awesome mom, and you kidlet knows that too!!!

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awwwwwwwwww gs mommies got it all figured out… all this planning, strategies and ideas on “*spending **quality *time with kids” why is that even under discussion?

i want to see your replies in 10-20 years, lets see whose theory/method/ideas come on top?

I hope I did not put ya’all under more pressure than you already were… :hehe: