[QUOTE] Originally posted by Aalhan: *
**Try to take a break from your relationship
with your husband. Pack your bags and go elsewhere, where
you won't see him for a few days. Immediately stop talking
with your net friend as well. You need time without either
man to figure out what you want and how much you're willing
to invest in your relationship with your husband. Try avoiding
making a decision biased by your feelings for your virtual friend
and definitely overlook plunging into a relationship headfast
with him. *
[/QUOTE]
Hi Aalhan.
I can leave my husband coz that will be a trouble if my
family knows i leave him then it will be a big drama.
And i don't talk to my net friend ive blocked him for a while
Coz ive to sort my feelings out.
And make a good decision about that all.
But thanks for ur advice.
In any kind of relationship the most important is ‘respect’ If he/she cant give you the respect then whats the use of living together and hoping that someday he/she will take care of you, will love you , its just useless:disgust:
Its better to get separte at the beginning than spoiling your whole life .
marriage isnt the easiest thing in the world but if u really cant live with ur husband and if u really think its better that u leave him.. then leave him, but not on the account of that u have some1 else u rathar be with.
make sure ur reasons r right and they only involve YOU n they r under no influence of others.. think for urself. If u wanna work it out, then u gotta atop talkin to this guy cuz he will only steer u .. not that hes planning to but maybe because he is emotionally “there” for u.. an that is a big comfort alone but ure at a point where breakin off isnt the easiest thing, it can be done but its not Easy!!oh and hun be careful, what if somehow god knows this may be farfetched but what if he (hubby) stumbles upon this very thread, this can cause chaos for u.. so be careful.. thats all (ek chota sa shak ka beej bhi na buhat masle khare ker deta hai, an once doubt is intodu ced in a marriage, mostly its all downhill from there cuz i truly do believe trust is the foundation of a marriage.. so jus be careful
Why dont u talk to ur husband, tell him that u want out if he doesnt change and YOU mean it. n i think u should go spend some time in ur maika.. evey1 deserves a break n tell him hes the reason ure goin to ur maika, cuz u need time off..
as for currupt angel.. its easy to sit there n judge others, any1 can do that.. if u cant understand what the other person is goin thru, atleast dont sit there an judge, u wouldnt want others to jusge u..
n Lajawab. can shed some light on the rights of a husband for his wife, i mean its easy to blame a woman, but have u ever thought why was the woman pushed into that direction. lets see if u can find sumthin. sayin win his love, an try to help with an make him turn around is easy for u, u dont have to do it.. what would u do if this was ur sister?? easier said than done man.. i kno ure giving us valuable information but sometimes ure too biased an u seem to place man on a some high pedestal where his mistakes are as grand in ur book as they should be..
but pls do share the rights of a husband with us
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by Deviliciousss: *
n Lajawab. can shed some light on the rights of a husband for his wife, i mean its easy to blame a woman, but have u ever thought why was the woman pushed into that direction. lets see if u can find sumthin. sayin win his love, an try to help with an make him turn around is easy for u, u dont have to do it.. what would u do if this was ur sister?? easier said than done man.. i kno ure giving us valuable information but sometimes ure too biased an u seem to place man on a some high pedestal where his mistakes are as grand in ur book as they should be..
but pls do share the rights of a husband with us
[/QUOTE]
Whatever the rights are or aren't is not the issue, what we are dealing with here is infidelity, where a woman's affection are divided between two men, and I know, no matter what, whether there is a divorce, a khula or whatever, the bonds of an Islamic matrimonial tie do not on any account allow for this as long as the husband and wife are bonded...This is not a small matter...
She can ask for a Khula, a divorce, annulment, separation whatever, but infidelity is inexcusable, no matter what...
as for currupt angel.. its easy to sit there n judge others, any1 can do that.. if u cant understand what the other person is goin thru, atleast dont sit there an judge, u wouldnt want others to jusge u..
[/QUOTE]
Yeah, I misunderstood what she said & unintentionally judged her but I don't think it harmed her or her relationship. BTW why did you pick on me? did you not see others passing judgments about Nilu's hubby? How much do we really know her husband that so many people are telling her to get a DIVORCE!? People here are surely insane. They don't seem to know what a woman may go through after she's divorced. It could be worse than living with a husband who swears at her!
Yeah, I misunderstood what she said & unintentionally judged her but I don't think it harmed her or her relationship. BTW why did you pick on me? did you not see others passing judgments about Nilu's hubby? How much do we really know her husband that so many people are telling her to get a DIVORCE!? People here are surely insane. They don't seem to know what a woman may go through after she's divorced. It could be worse than living with a husband who swears at her!
ps.
I agree with your thoughts about her marriage...
[/QUOTE]
i dint mean to pick on u.. its jus that the way it came out was that the judhgement was based on her charachter.. i cant explain.. it was the way it came out, it was the judging f what kinda wman she might be,.. n that seemed to me THAT way..
n lajawab..
im not gonna say that infidelty is right but i can understand why she might seek comfort in "a net friend" its wronggg.. but not everything is black n white, an in ur posts u r quite biased when it comes to men an womens right, but do u not see a reason behind her actions.. they may not be right, but she said shes confused, n she started talkin to him maybe as a friend.. and islamically i kno its wrong to talk to men n women n then if u look in that light we r all doin wrong here then bein on gupshup.. so i wont even bring religion into this.. cuz then the conversation is gonna go somewhere else..
u r right infidelty is wrong in a relationship but im thinkin an answwer honestly , if a man was in nilus situation n the tables were turned, would u still feel the same way..
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by Nilu: *
Hi Lajawab.
I know it's wrong but i never had thougts
about him like this before.
It just happend. And u think it's all my fould huh?
And indeed u don't know what happens between me
and my husband ur not there when my husband
call me bad name's in Punjabi.
Ijust had to add my two cents in here Nilu. Pls step back and analyze this situation very carrefully, all t/ pros and con of your situation. No one and absolutely no one has t/ right to degrade and humiliate you even if he is your hubby. Yeh achaa hay humaaray culture main kay mian yaa baap/ bhaii ho, to jo karna hay karo, khulii chutti hay! Get some serious professional couple counselling. But if things things still remain t/ same pack your bags. Who cares about your "familys" drama? What about your own life. Aaj gaalum galoch, kal haataa paaii. What are you waiting for. If he refuses to go for counselling, pack your bags NOW.
P.S. If you don't have kids yet great. Avoid getting pregnant until things improve permanently.
Also, forget about anybody else, I understand how you feel but believe me, that's not what you want. It's toooo damn premature and could get xtremely ugly. I hope you have blocked him out "permanently" instead of for "temporarlily" as you said above. Instead try getting a part time / full time job or something so you don't sit around on t/ net. Get it out of your system. Good luck.
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by Nilu: *
Yehi na agar je cheez hote hai phir sare galtiyaan
Larki pe aajate hai.
[/QUOTE]
theres a difference between using bad lang and cheating on someone...n its WRONG, no matter wat...even if he was a monster n u were married to him, cheating on him would still be wrong..
why can u confront him about it??
theres a difference between using bad lang and cheating on someone...n its WRONG, no matter wat...even if he was a monster n u were married to him, cheating on him would still be wrong..
why can u confront him about it??
[/QUOTE]
Hi Tikhi.
I confront him many time's about his bad languange
but it happends over&over again.
Anywayz i made my decision that i will go for my marriage
and pay less atention to that i-net friend of my.
Hi Tikhi.
I confront him many time's about his bad languange
but it happends over&over again.
Anywayz i made my decision that i will go for my marriage
and pay less atention to that i-net friend of my.
Nilu.
[/QUOTE]
Yes.. good decision that u will pay less attention to the net mofo.. BUT, u ought to straighten the snob of a hubby that u have got. He has gotta know you deserve better treatment and a lot more respect.
Yes.. good decision that u will pay less attention to the net mofo.. BUT, u ought to straighten the snob of a hubby that u have got. He has gotta know you deserve better treatment and a lot more respect.
[/QUOTE]
was he like this from start or developed this habit later on...
if he developed this later on , i would definitely ask u to go to him and ask him what his problem is, why he is behaving like that..may be he is going through some tough times in his office may be....or may be some other pressure which u might be unaware of...why dont u make his favourite dish in dinner and talk him with some compassion and empathy about the problems that ur marital life is facing....i m sure ny sane person would listen to u nd try to get it solved....he is not like the unparh jahil of some pind that he wont listen u nd start calling u names..he is educated man nd supposed to be a more logical and ethical than others....
give it a try , a sincere try , putting all the biased nd resentment aside...i think there is still some hope :)
thats a very good decision Nilu G 
wish U all the best :k: