I ran into an old friend’s younger sister today at a mall while shopping. I saw her after 3 years so insisted we should have coffee. Anyways, while we were having coffee and catching up on old things…obviously, my friend came up in our conversations and I knew that abt 4 yrs ago my friend got married to a guy she loved deeply and he loved her back…they were perfect together. Everyone used to tell her how lucky she was to find a guy like him n blah blah. So, I asked her sis how they r doing. She told me he divorced her. I was SHOCKED to say the least. Then she told me the entire story. He cheated on her with another woman from his workplace. He was sleeping with that woman for 6 months before his wife found out. He actually came clean. They were having sex in the car that she bought for him as their 3rd anniversary present. I had no words to say to that girl. I was just looking down, thinking how this can happen.. I asked her abt my friend n she said she moved to Ottawa (a city in Canada) and she is going to school there. She even told me that after he left, she hasnt been the same. She has become very depressed n lonely. She told me that she couldnt even stay in the same house that they lived in cuz it used to depress her. She was with this guy for 6 years. I took her number from her sister and will be calling her tomorrow morning but I do not want to remind her of anything as her sister said she is starting to kind of get over him as its been almost a year since their divorce.
Anyways, point of this topic was.. I just cannot get this out of my head. How can u really trust someone? Arranged marriage or love marriage.. it doesnt matter. It can happen to anyone. I knew of their relationship personally and I always remember her ex husband to be the greatest guy. This is really stressing me out.. Do people really change that much?
well i guess things do change, i guess some ppl take love as a challenge and once they achieve it they treat it as a trophy for a while and then a new target. This world is so coming to an end :k:
Modesty is not a constant and it does not remain the same . It depends on circumstances and personal character . And nothing weak like a man . Really sorry to know about your friend . May Allah help her .
nisik, That is EXACTLY wat was going through my head... a man can be a pig but as a woman, how can u not feel another woman's pain? how can u steal her husband... I know it takes 2 ppl to do that but still. I personally knew a girl who was sleeping with a man who was married a girl in pakistan. She was a gori and once at work, she was crying to a bunch of us saying how his wife is coming now and he has decided to not meet her anymore.. I told her straight up that I do not feel sorry for u and as for that man. He will rot in hell.
The divorce rate is rising - even in our community.
Whatever is wrong with marriages in the West, is spreading.
People no longer take each other for better or for worse, richer or poorer, etc. There is no such thing. Did you not see the other thread in Life1 about the girl who does not want to marry a guy because he cannot afford to keep her the way she is used to living.
This is so sad, and I have to say this- In the past few days I heard about 3 divorces in people we know. All of them over issues that were resolvable, but things escalated and both parties got mad and it happened, then they regretted it later (well, atleast two of them regret it now). It just makes me so sad :( esp. considering the fact that they're all good people.
Your question about trusting- I don't think there's a way to trust people, like Niksik mentioned, what you can do is trust Allah SWT and hope He brings the best people forward for you i'A. Stuff like this incident happens and at that time we may not understand why it did occur, but may be there's something better on its way for that girl. Tell her to keep her chin up! :)
Very sad indeed. My fiance is Canadian and Iam British and he said that adultery is rife in the Pakistani community in Canada. Apparently, this happened to his best friend. He married this gorgeous, super hot girl from Pakistan, brought her over to Canada and after abou 3 years of marriage she started having an affair with another Pakistani guy. Her husband found out when he saw some guy coming out of her window when he returned from work (imagine that!).
When confronted, she said you dont please me anymore and dont make enough money. They are now divorced, he is steeped upto his eye-balls in depression whilst that girl has now moved in with that new guy.
It doesn't just happen to girls, sometimes guys are the victims as well.
As for my fiance, I've only known him for two years so can't really say at this stage if he will always be faithful. What I do know is that he has the fear of Allah in him and may be tempted once in a while, but will be stopped when he knows what awaits him in the next life.
Wish all guys/girls who commit adulterous acts could keep that in mind.
Well , There are good and bad people around us ... as a matter of fact , the more we are moving away from religion, the more such vices are taking over our lives ...
What happened to your friend was very very unfortunate, and it can be extremely hard to move on given the circumstances. but Allah tests us in different ways .
The fact of the matter is , we as humans can take the maximum best steps to trust, care, love another person... if still it goes wrong , we leave it to Allah. What we should not do is , stop trusting, caring and loving for fear of failure ...
What kind of self respect, dignity, character do they have?