I had a sister, Afshan Noor. She was only 1 year old when she was caught in an accident. It was awful…my mum was driving in UK, Wales over mountainous areas…….it was hilly as well as slippery, my mum’s car skidded, the car fell down…….window’s broke coz of the trees branches round…….she fell out of the windows and the……….car fell on top of her……with my mum……..ambulance was called……….she was taken in one of them…..but she died……
…….on the way to hospital……..Allah Tallah saved my mum……..and she still hasn’t forgiven herself for that………….its now……been 13 whole years………aur aaj…………jaane kiyoun……..upni behun ki yaad bohut sata ruhi thei….if she was here….she must have been 13 years old……a beautiful young girl………pata nuhi aisa kiyoun hota hamare saath….may be it was for the best……I was only 7 then…and Naazi 5 or 6……pata nuhi……..we were in Lahore then…..her coffin was brought from UK to Vehari where she was buried with my dada and dadi jaan………my mind drifts towards that night……….soo many things were going through my head……that night…..no one explained to me anything…………why was my mum crying?……..why was my dad so sad?………I used to ask my sister, Farah…..mugur us bechari ko kiya pata tha……mera dil………………bohut cheerta hei……….bohut rone ko dil kurta hei aaj………
………I used to think it was my fault………….coz I used to steal candy from my grand ma’s draw……when I was little…and she warned me keh Allah Tallah saza deta hei…..mugur mein kaunsa sun ne wali thei……I did it again…….and then…..she was taken away from me………ussi din se mere dimaagh pe aik saya sa hei keh coz of me she was taken away…..but as I grew up………..i realized……..it wasn’t that at all…….bus aisa hona hi tha………
Today I was looking through my oldie box……..sorting things…..when I came across this piece of writing……….i remember I wrote this when I was 14……..7 years later after she had gone……….i guess in her remembrance I wrote this strong piece of writing………I was proud of it…..showed it to everyone……..its not much…….but I really wanted to post this today……I hope u like it too………..my papa also wrote a poem in her name……..and I found it today………..its very touching……….i dunno how it feels to loose a child but this poem at the end was enough to let me know how he felt….L
- She was crying….moaning….beating herself and confessing that she had killed her daughter. I watched her as other neighborhood’s women tried to hold her back. Tried to comfort her but she screamed and snatched away from them. Some of my other aunts and cousins were crying as well. I couldn’t understand, couldn’t understand at all why they were creating such an awful ambience……..She wanted to scream at God for his doings. She clutched her fists until her knuckles went white and howled with pain “ Give me back my angel, give me back my daughter”. This whole nightmare was like a blur of confused vision to me. Which is why I wanted urgently to get rid of this hilarious nightmare and wake up in a comfortable bed of mine. She seemed so rotten and distress, her mournful eyes had twisted red as her tears clanged to her pale cheeks. It was a black atmosphere absorbing all the shrilly screams. The stars were shining as bright as crystals in the sky performing their post, but the Earth was sobbing in tragedy in return. My 14 months old sister was gone; those piercing black eyes, that natural goodness of hers was gone forever. It was like someone had blown out the shining light and left the entire house to suffer in darkness.
The stars were glistering in glitter and glimmed bright in the sky of pitch-black fabric. The moon was full and as white as chalk gleaming with silver lining at its edges. The sound of horse’s hooves echoed in the streets as it was making its way through the blackness of houses. My phopho had a big shawl wrapped tightly around her body and she seemed to be thinking, thinking deeply in her thoughts, exploring. I felt sorry for her because she was only 19, and a girl 19 of age wasn’t allowed to be out alone on this kind of night especially with a man who was busily mounting the horse. The cold air felt very beautiful when slapping against my cold neck and face. I closed my eyes and thought of all the good things and felt like being carried away by the strong burst of wind as if I was to be as light as a feather. I still couldn’t figure out why were we going to my cousin’s house that was 220 miles away. I was still thinking from the moment when someone had suddenly snatched the soft feathery like blanket of me and huskily whispered in my ear to get ready. I could barely concentrate on what was going on and why was I asked to get ready in the middle of the night. I saw my sister (2 years younger then me) her eyes full of confusion and innocence that asked me whats going on! She was a small timid type of girl, clever enough to overcome any type of situation. But I wasn’t. I was terribly confused as much as she was.
When we resignedly arrived in my cousin’s house I was surprisingly shocked to see many people that I didn’t knew. Everyone there was sobbing, crying their hearts out. My auntie burst into tears as if she had gathered all her tears inside her and now she opened that tank and let out all the saved precious tears, the moment she met my mum. My mum hugged me tightly and my sister as if she hadn’t seen us for years.
She told me, she told me the terrifying truth that why was everyone crying! Which I longed to hear and now I instantly wished I never was curious about it. ‘ Aisha you’re sister, Afshan Noor, she’s dead…..OK!……don’t worry everything will be fine.’ I felt a sharp long sting in my throat, which stopped me to breath. I choked and my tears burst out suddenly without permission and my knowing. I tried to squeeze in the urge of screaming out and will to shout out but unsuccessfully failed and busted out with anger mixed with urge of questions, eager to have answers ‘ How, why, why her, who did it?’ All the questions muddled into my mind waiting to receive the correct answer. I couldn’t believe it that my own flower-like sister be dead. I cried I let out all the anger inside me, I wished that I had died instead of her because she was born yesterday and I was born eight years ago. I started memorizing all the smiles of hers, her voice, giggling laughter.
It had been hours since I had known the terrifying breath catching news and whished I hadn’t. My mum was crying madly I had never seen her in this state before. She was crying, moaning, screaming and everything else you would do if someone blood relative had died. I tried to give her a glass of water but she ignored me, shoed me away with her hand and continued crying. I was heart broken, seeing my only mum is this state, made my heart shiver with cold, cruel ideas sprang into my mind. I was feeling sick of all the crying and seeing lots of people crying. Suddenly a noise began to rise from the front door my mum jumped up shooting a blood shot stare at the door. The door opened and some men brought in the coffin of my adorable sister, which I longed to see. Everyone had started to look at the coffin and her face. I was locked out. I could hear all the women especially my mum wailing and beating her hands in front of her chest, crying out to her. I couldn’t stand the horrible scene I longed to get away, get away from this compacted place.
I was picked up be my dad and was embraced by him tightly. He took me to the coffin and all the women there started to hug me, feeling sorry for me. I looked at her; looked and stared, stared hard at her and couldn’t believe what I was seeing. It wasn’t her, not hr at all. She was changed, her colour of her rosy cheeks was now a slight gray, her eyes were closed as if she was peacefully sleeping, her mouth was twisted into a slight smile, she was actually looking as an angel was sleeping. God, I realized cutely made her. Some red roses were put on her and she was tightly locked in a wooden box. My tears gave way again and I started to cry again. I was actually furious at God myself, why did he had to do it, why her, he could have chosen someone else. After few minutes that seemed like hours it was time to say a final goodbye to her. My mum hugged the coffin and seemed never to let go, My dad took her in his arms and tried to hold her back I couldn’t stop crying myself. I just couldn’t see her in that tight coffin and getting buried under the soil. I felt I was in their with her, a part of me told me that she had to go, she didn’t belong in this cruel world. Her heavenly face, I couldn’t bear any longer to see. After a while they took her away just like they had brought her in. my mum ran after them but I and other women stopped her, she was heart broken and I could see that. I was frustrated and sad; I couldn’t believe what had happened tonight.
After all these years it still hurts to think or bring up this subject. I don’t know how I have been able to write this tragedy story.
(To me beloved daughter: from papa)
O Afshi
And thus finished the story
Of success and glory
The innocent legend finally….L
Responds to the call eternal
And decides to fly away
Beyond the human eye
Galaxies and heavens
And leaves behind a sea of sorrow
Mournful eyes
Oceans of tears….….
Hearts of dolor
O Afshi
You are no more then a part
Inseparable of our minds
Our lives
O God keep her in peace
True and everlasting
As your people know her
As a girl of true honor*….
I Love You Afshi Behna…wish u were here…
…really dont know what 2 say…feeling so sad 
