Guys, this is not the usual same ol same ol stuff you are reading at all publications, this is sage advise from your spiritual leader.
No beans the day of the flight, let the ppl do their job without suffering through your gas.
Under no condition get a stiffy, it can create an awkward situation for both ppl.
During a pat down, no moaning, no asking for more or words like there, here, etc,
Under no condition ask for a happy ending.
Do not attempt to tip after the pat down
Do not ask the guard for a phone number
It’s perfectly okay to be errr at attention while going through the porn-ray machine. It will not be mistaken for a concealed weapon.
Please don’t pout or pose for the porn-ray machine pics. Yes facebook ladies the standing at an angle, chin forward, with hand on the waist jig is up.
ask him or her to warm their hands prior to the patdown
Don’t ask the guard if that a baton or if they are happy to see you.
Dont ask the guard out for dinner either after the freedom grope/freedom patdown
If you are a brown guy please show no attitude or you will be on the first plane to gitmo with lubed tubelights waiting eagerly for your arrival.
Going commando with a Kilt may seem like a good idea, but may not be
desi chichorays, please dont claim that you are gay and need to be patted down by a female in a private room..its not gonna fly
oh yeah this is all like horsin around etc in case someone is getting all offended and stuff.
give a 30 second fame to well ‘built’ individuals and chance to show off…
