Some funny stuff

[Khumar]

Re: ··• Make Your Own Joke Competition - Submissions and Rating •··

@phatima1

Really, you all should just not even waste your time participating, because with these homemade jokes of mines, nobody stands a chance.

Q: What does 5abi use to open a locked door?
A: A 6abi.

Q: Why does Amitabh Bachan have a goatee?
A: To hide his (amitabh) BUTTCHIN

Q: What do shrimp sing during Christmas time?
A: Jhinga Bells

Q: What kind of a dance does Abhishek Bachan do?
A: The Abhi-SHAKE!

Q: What do you call a llama with only one strand of hair?
A: Allama Iqbal

Yes and thanks to all my fans out there. Haven’t yet gotten around to checking all that fan mail, but I will do it as soon as possible. Trust me. Yea.Thankyou. God bless.

lol 5 for you

@lifeless

How did Reema’s son call for his mom when he got lost?

o ree maaaaa!

hehe 5 as well

@kaun

:zor zor sey sar khujaaying:
:garmi key baais peit khujaaying:

aur jab khujlee hadh sey barh jaaye to

:jaa ker garam paani sey nahaaying:

this is so weird. lol 3

@K337

a punjabi aunti goes to a gym to see her instructor.

aunti jee: i want to tone up my belly muscles

gym instructor: 40 kicks every morning should help.

aunti jee: I cant use my hands, I injured them

i really don’t get it =/ 2

@Niksik

Khumar’s bollywood movie is going to be a hit!
(Biggest joke of the century)

Sawry !

@paki_boy

Q: What is the fastest way to exchange something?

A: Foreign Exchange.

this better be an original. 4

@chunnu_jutha

**What did one Juta say to the other??

— toun jhutha sole

get it **

no

@Prince_Ali

**okay this is a real funny story…

I was on emirates flight, and there were these 2 guys sitting next to me, and u know when the plane is about to take off, they give you these warm face clothes/towels to wipe your face…
So one of the guys (jo shayad pehli baar plane mein betha tha) bit that hot towel (he thought it was chocolate or barfi/mithai so he would try to eat it) and then he went like, ahhhhhhhhhhhhh oooooooooo (cuz his tongue burned).. then the guy sitting next to him (jo kafi dair se towel ko moonh se hawa de kar thanda kar raha tha) said, “tenu kya si na ke thanda kar ke khaween” (tumse kaha tha ke thanda kar ke khana)

**

hahaha 5!

@TofiBaba

In college I had a roommate whose brother came to visit from their pind. So after picking him up from the airport we go some fast food (don’t remember which it was) drivethru and everybody orders. At this point the brother is really excited that we can do that. So once we have the food we park the car and starts eating. The brother is looking around and then suddenly says, “Tofi yaar udhar chal kar park kar yaar, TV bhi daikhtein hain khaatay khaatay”. We turn around and noticed that he was pointing to the trash-can.

I still can’t stop a smile when I think about it.

awww 3

@TofiBaba

Here’s another one from my college days. I was waiting tables one day and these 2 desi uncles walk in and sit. I go over to them, greet them and asked if they’d like something to drink. One of them said, “get me a vodka and tonic, no ice”. Then I turn toward the other uncle and he says, “I’ll take a scotch on the rocks, WITH ICE”. And he was serious.

I had to turn around really fast so as to not laugh in his face.

LOL 5

@paki_boy

This happened to one of my aunts at a wedding. This aunt of mine has a habit of speaking without thinking, so at the wedding she was sitting with the bride, talking to her, when a cute little kid came up to them and started talking to the groom. My aunt looked at the kid and said to the bride, “Masha Allah, bohat pyara baccha hai. Aap ka hai?” And the bride went, “Jeeeeeee?” My aunt then realized what she had said and went “oh sorry, mera matlab hai aap kay kisi rishtay daar ka hai?”

hahaha poor bride. 4

@Lafanter

friend told me this funny story
he and his brother went to pick up a freshy from pakistan (they live in Canberra Australia), on the way back they had some problem with transmission and started jerking, the freshy said, Ali bhai pata kiya! clutch ki tarr dhelly hai
while the car was automatic, and they started laughing hysterically

hehe 3.75

@paki_boy

This happened to me the other day. I was at the Mechanic’s shop, having my Nissan Altima checked out. There was this Afghan guy there as well who had a Nissan Maxima. He asked me where I was from and upon finding out, started speaking to me in Urdu, which was quite broken. He asked me a few questions about my car and then said “waisay yeh bohat acchi kaam karti hai” and I replied, “Ji, Nissan ki cars kaafi acchi hoti hain,” and he said “Um is mechanic ki baat kar raha tha.”

LOL 4.5

@lifeless

**what did one pagal say to the other?

paa gal sun.

**

haha cute 4.5