hey everyone, thankyou so so so much for all your great advice, i totally get what you guys are saying and its keeping me strong. When i feel im swaying i come on here. This forum has really really helped me cope and do the right thing!
So two things i wanted to discuss and get some advice on.
First- we share the same building, course, friends, and clinical group. I see him ALLLL the time. I distance myself as much as possible likw we dont chill anymore but in group things and at uni we are together......so today....in the evening im sitting the common room waiting for a group of friends to come.
He comes along, sits on the same sofa as me and we have a polite salam dua. I then asked him to move to the other sofa, and he was like 'what so now you hate me so much you cant even be on the same sofa as me'....i just ignored this. Then group of friends come along and we order food all is fine....then some of the boys had an eating contest amd i was like ummm X i think you lose and he was said...infront of everyone ' well you hate me now anyway'....
What should i do when he says things like this????
i forgot what the second thing was.....
Lady Llama Aunty got it right when she said that he makes such comments to get attention. Don't fall for it. He is hoping that you will feel guilty when he says 'oh you hate me' and in turn give him some attention and ego-boosting affection. He's looking for attention/ego boost.........don't fall for it.
If he's that worried about the possibility or thought of you "hating" him..........then why did he treat you like crap in the first place? If it upsets him so much that you might "hate" him (which u don't)...........shouldn't he have shown you more respect and appreciation when you were with him????
First he hurts you.........then he wants to make you feel uncomfortable/bad/guilty for trying to move on and protecting yourself from getting hurt again????????
Sorry, but he can't have it both ways. The next time he says, "oh you hate me," just say** "I never said that. Don't put words in my mouth." **That's all you should say. You don't need to give any explanations and tell him that you still care about him/miss him/love. No need for further elaboration. Just give him a simple response in a calm and relaxed manner and continue moving on with life.
It’ll all be fine inshAllah. You’ll get someone who is worthy of you, as long as you respect yourself in the same way you want to be respected by your future-partner.
Yes, it was desperate and joke my foot.. he won’t take it as a joke and he’ll know that your desperately hoping he won’t see any pretty girls. Is that what you want him to think?!