this guy I am into, he practices tasawuf which is a good thing but he gets so many mood swings & he sometimes says that he goes into the zone & then he doesnt talk much. It sometimes worries me that he will be afriad to get committed & might back off anytime. What you guys think I should do?
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Um.. first tell how do you feel about it yourself?
I personally am not liking it. We all go through a lil mood swing but there gotto be a valid reason for that. As long as he “going into the zone” doesnt meddle your life with him it may be fine, but its practically impossible.
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What’s tasawuf?
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How does one ‘practice tasawuf’?
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You can practice crazy!! in so many ways..to OP invest in some running shoes and start running from this mental dude!!
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I think the other word for it is “maraqba” but more in terms of religioun. Its like wherever you are sitting you close your eyes and start thinking about God while focusing on your heartbeat and then you try to sink in that feeling more and more till you are totally unaware of surrounding.
OP can correct me if wrong.
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Tasawuf = Sofism = Spirituality
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Similar to meditation?
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Run…
& never look back.
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Correct but as PP said, its in more spiritual way thats inclined towards God.
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Interesting
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well if he is “getting into the zone” then he must be smoking some fine paki charas lol
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Tasawuf is valid as per the 4 mazhabs from what I have learned and in this case one should speak respectfully about it as opposed to mocking it. The guy in question is struggling to balance his deen and duniya but his failures/struggles don’t render tasawuf as something that is bad or wrong on the whole. Op, it’s a good thing that he has an interest in Islam and a desire to get closer to Allah but huqooq ul ibad (fulfilling the rights of fellow humans) has its place as well. With that said, you can either gently bring up the matter with him to see how he responds…or…if you have already talked to him about this many times and you still feel frustrated…then look elsewhere. Relationships are challenging enough as is…but it’s harder if you feel you frequently have to walk on eggshells or live in a state of uncertainty.
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Tassawuf…means taqwa and to abstain. So if he’s going out with you lol he’s not practising tassawuf.
Also why is he blaming his behavioural issues on tassawuf??? I think you both need to sit down and discuss with each other what you want from your relationship and where this is headed. You ought to communicate with him that his mood swings etc are having a negative affect on you and stress that if he wants to continue this relationship then he will have to work on this.
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He thinks that he wont fit into anyones prism. He is always careful talking to me as he doesnt want to hurt me & if i complain then he starts pushing me away assuming he is not good enough for me & i dont have to comprise for him.The way he talks sometimes it seems like he just dont want to trouble anyone so he tries to talk less as his theory is the more he talks there will be more chances of getting the other person hurt which he doesnt want.
Sometimes i think thats a selfish act from his side as he is just trying to protect himself by isolating.
I just dont seem to understand whats going inside his head.
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He told you in no ambiguous words that he is not intersted in a relationship. Despite that, you continue to persue him and also conerned that he may back off from commitment with you. Cant you already foresee the future of this?
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Hmmm he sounds very similar to a guy I talked to once. Girl, he is never going to commit or see the error of his ways. These type of guys hide behind the guise of religiousness and are super quick to point out what they see wrong in your approach and can never take criticism themselves. Imo just leave him cold turkey.
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If that’s the case then why he asks how am i doing every other day? Why he says he is interested in getting married & then he gives this hint that his parents are visiting this eid? I dont know whats with him.i think he is confused or just weird. He sometimes mentions internal instability & just dont feel like talking. Its sometimes a struggle to talk to him & if i stop talking then he says " i thought you gave up on me". He himself do understand that he is a difficult person. I really like him cuz he is a decent guy with good character, never did anything bad in his life.
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So with the latest info, it seems that actually he is highly ambiguous. See how people advice differently when you dont provide clear details. Its not like they can see your situation so you should never seek advice about your personal life matters from strangers who dont know about you and your circumstances.
You know that he is a mess emotionally. You say that he knows that too. I think he just looking for a female chat buddy to talk to in his free time. That’s it. He says things like those to keep you interested and make you not realise that he is not serious. Stop talking to him and if he calls to ask if you gave up on him. Tell him yes because you are looking for a serious stable mature guy.
Unless you know him since childhood, how do you know he has committed nothing bad in his life? And what is your definition of “bad”? Did you try seeking advice of someone mature in real life who knows you and the guy well??
Personally, I think he is wasting your time & you are letting him. Cut him off. The sooner you end this the better. You’re inviting trouble and complications yourself by allowing him to keep you engaged while at the same time making it clear incase he disappears, you would be in no position to demand commitment as he told you he could not. Sooner you understand that, the better.
P.S: “If you choose to continue this, keep alot of boxes of tissues handy for the later stages of this developing story.”
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It’s possible she may have let herself go and be unattractive now.
Anyone i agree with MYSTIQUE she should sue him for the money and divorce him.