If even her mom admits to her tantrums...RUN THE OTHER WAY!
Her mother does, but also says she is learning and will be oki. I was talking to mum last week and she said .. let me quote exact words "you are like my son, i will not say anything wrong - you should move on, its not workable" ..
and my response was "sorry it's not possible anymore, families are involved" ..
i don't know what to do ...where to start .. and where to end.. !
Re: So…
only if u stop being so controlling 
Her mother does, but also says she is learning and will be oki. I was talking to mum last week and she said .. let me quote exact words "you are like my son, i will not say anything wrong - you should move on, its not workable" ..
ok i cant bel;eive the mother actualy said this. hmm are you sure they are not doing this on purpose then. the daughter is acting bratty and the mother is saying leave it.sounds fishy to me.no mother would say that.
Re: So...
hmm yea, what do you mean fam are involved. it's usually the girl's family that need to treated more sensitively and even they are telling you to run the other way- then what would your family say? Or, you can tell your fam to do istikhara cuz i think they would get a bad one and then you won't have to say anything- n that'll be the end :)
..
ok i cant bel;eive the mother actualy said this. hmm are you sure they are not doing this on purpose then. the daughter is acting bratty and the mother is saying leave it.sounds fishy to me.no mother would say that.
They are the exact words of mum ..
Re: So...
ok Firenze , here goes ....
A relationship requires a hell of a lot of sacrifice from both ends ... but at the end of the day a woman should remain open to listening more to her husband coz he is the head of the family ..... obviously you are asking her to leave her past life for the greater good of the family... and she should listen to you if she genuinely respects you.
If a girl is too opinionated, too stubborn for her own good, doesnt respect your wishes then you might as well let her go coz these things do cause greater issues later on. its got nothing to do with maturity hers or yours... this is her nature and she will keep doing it , unless you have the patience to change her which she might with time.
one thing that i will say though, make sure that the things that you are stopping her from doing are actually worth breaking up...
:k:
If we can’t take care of small things, how we gonna handle big one’s ?
Re: So...
Actually Firenze, if you think its small things that she is taking a stand on , then i would suggest to be patient with her rather then contemplating breaking up...
Engagement is still alot different then actually being married ... once married and both live under the same roof , you both will learn to listen to each other and deal with bigger issues of life ....
however if the things that you dont like about her are bigger issues , for example : a friend of mine used to chat online in chatrooms , developed endless friendships and would talk quite frankly about any topic in the world with her "friends" .. the fiance didnt like this closeness of hers with others , he classed it as flirting which was fair enough...
in her opinion it wasnt a big deal, in his opinion it was a huge deal coz he is a proper shareef guy... when the girl didnt let go , he broke the engagement off .... and i think he was right, the girl should have realized the difference between maintaining decent friendships and flirting ... so it was an issue worth breaking the relationship for.
so its completely upto you to think whether the issues are small and can be overlooked or are they huge that can impact your married life on a large scale ... and then determine the end result.
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ive seen many relationships fall because of facebook- keep petty things like that out of your life. It can cause major damage. mine almost did- but alhumdulillah everything is fine now.
Khair hopefully she grows out of it. good luck.
ive seen many relationships fall because of facebook- keep petty things like that out of your life. It can cause major damage. mine almost did- but alhumdulillah everything is fine now.
Khair hopefully she grows out of it. good luck.
Some pointers would be helpful, like how you or your partner manage it ..etc..
Oh alrightyy-- well he had issues with me talking to my college friends- (GUYS) and id try to make him understand their just friends- but at the same time i wouldnt except his friends- so we both were on the same boat- but the thing wat bothered me was he wouldnt tell anyone about me (meaning if the girls asked him oh r u single- he'd say yes- [were committed but not OFFICIAL-] but that doesnt give him the right to say he's single) while ME- guys would ask me and id say im engaged. Simple- cuz i dont like the whole BOYFRIEND category its grimey and chichora word. Khair as my friends got to know more and more abt my fiance they'd back off- like limit their talks with me etc etc- bc they knew now i have a different lifestyle. So mainly my many guy friends drifted away so i deleted them from facebook- and he did it bc he started to feel the same. Hes understanding but sometimes i have to MAKE him understand. Other than that facebook is somewhat like a fake world. You cannot have facebook take over your personal relationship. So overall we talked about it i made him understand that if friends say hi and hello its not a big deal- if it gets more than that- then he has a right to question me and get mad otherwise we settled it out. We let go of the petty facebook fights we used to have.
p.s. at one point i deactivated but came right bak on it after 2 days LOL it keeps my everyday going- just like GS :)
ok Firenze , here goes ....
A relationship requires a hell of a lot of sacrifice from both ends ... but at the end of the day a woman should remain open to listening more to her husband coz he is the head of the family ..... obviously you are asking her to leave her past life for the greater good of the family... and she should listen to you if she genuinely respects you.
If a girl is too opinionated, too stubborn for her own good, doesnt respect your wishes then you might as well let her go coz these things do cause greater issues later on. its got nothing to do with maturity hers or yours... this is her nature and she will keep doing it , unless you have the patience to change her which she might with time.
one thing that i will say though, make sure that the things that you are stopping her from doing are actually worth breaking up...
Right CB - Respect is the word. Respect your partner before you love him and patience will automatically come and all will be good.
Oh alrightyy-- well he had issues with me talking to my college friends- (GUYS) and id try to make him understand their just friends- but at the same time i wouldnt except his friends- so we both were on the same boat- but the thing wat bothered me was he wouldnt tell anyone about me (meaning if the girls asked him oh r u single- he'd say yes- [were committed but not OFFICIAL-] but that doesnt give him the right to say he's single) while ME- guys would ask me and id say im engaged. Simple- cuz i dont like the whole BOYFRIEND category its grimey and chichora word. Khair as my friends got to know more and more abt my fiance they'd back off- like limit their talks with me etc etc- bc they knew now i have a different lifestyle. So mainly my many guy friends drifted away so i deleted them from facebook- and he did it bc he started to feel the same. Hes understanding but sometimes i have to MAKE him understand. Other than that facebook is somewhat like a fake world. You cannot have facebook take over your personal relationship. So overall we talked about it i made him understand that if friends say hi and hello its not a big deal- if it gets more than that- then he has a right to question me and get mad otherwise we settled it out. We let go of the petty facebook fights we used to have.
p.s. at one point i deactivated but came right bak on it after 2 days LOL it keeps my everyday going- just like GS :)
Wow
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I have skimmed what you have said so far and I have come two questions.
Personally I think you have two option. Keep harping on or leave her. Women like attention. When you stop caring she will come back to you. I suggest you let her do whatever she wants and just not speak with her. Effectively ignore her for a few weeks.
I have skimmed what you have said so far and I have come two questions.
I don't see any other option !
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2. How serious is this relationship?
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Very !
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Personally I think you have two option. Keep harping on or leave her.** Women like attention. When you stop caring she will come back to you. I suggest you let her do whatever she wants and just not speak with her. Effectively ignore her for a few weeks.**
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I will try !
Thanks ~
Re: So...
and there is one question comes into my mind, are you the only one who has relationship with her? I there is other one on-line or offline who forces her to keep her old ids and forces her to behave otherwise which understandably you think in appropriate. it can be emotionally blackmailing to her too.
she is not letting it out openly.
do think about this way.
other thing, when some one in love they do go out of the way for the relationship or for person they love, if you and her are not doing that, there may be other factors hindering this process.
and there is one question comes into my mind, are you the only one who has relationship with her? I there is other one on-line or offline who forces her to keep her old ids and forces her to behave otherwise which understandably you think in appropriate. it can be emotionally blackmailing to her too.
she is not letting it out openly.
do think about this way.
other thing, when some one in love they do go out of the way for the relationship or for person they love, if you and her are not doing that, there may be other factors hindering this process.
Well i never think like that, but its interesting to know this dimension. I will see what can i put up on this !
Whats so WOW?? PM 
in few lines you can see two ppl getting mature over/about some issue/life.
ab uchelna band karo