Re: So Very Confused!
OP, if he was really into you he'd change NOW.. not 'maybe' five or ten years down the line..
Re: So Very Confused!
^ all above the above. The choice is your OP. This could be your first and last thread on life1 but if you marry the guy it will be 1 of maybe 10, maybe 20.
The choice is yours.
Re: So Very Confused!
There is almost unanimity on what the OP needs to do here and I agree too. The reluctance she is showing is probably related to not just her immaturity but also the situation itself. The guy is her cousin, her parents are for it and then there is the taboo of breaking the magni. She can use some advice on how to maneuver so it does not affect her relationship with rest of the khandan and her parents and also her chances of getting married in the future. Unfortunately, the only way she can get of this situation harmlessly is by exposing, albeit tactfully, the guy for what he is.
Re: So Very Confused!
There is almost unanimity on what the OP needs to do here and I agree too. The reluctance she is showing is probably related to not just her immaturity but also the situation itself. The guy is her cousin, her parents are for it and then there is the taboo of breaking the magni. She can use some advice on how to maneuver so it does not affect her relationship with rest of the khandan and her parents and also her chances of getting married in the future. Unfortunately, the only way she can get of this situation harmlessly is by exposing, albeit tactfully, the guy for what he is.
THIS.
Re: So Very Confused!
You guys I do understand this guy will make my life a living hell. I've talked to him a bit more and he just seems so sketchy and is kind of rude. He already is "joking" about four wives and tells me that he'll do things and I can't catch him. He'll say things like my own family has never caught me, tum khud ko kya samjhti ho? But I asked him why did he tell me everything he did and he said mood tha toh bata dia, agar na hota toh na batata. I told him what if I told my parents, or told his and he says go ahead no one will believe you, WHICH IS TRUE. He says that everyone thinks he is shareef and he has a good image in front of his family. And from the looks of it, if I get him on skype and ask him to repeat his "confessions" it seems as if he will get suspicious and won't do it.
Also, he says things like "what if we don't get married" and I asked him why wouldn't we and he said "what if YOUR parents decide to end it" which kinda gave everything away at that point. But then I said lol why would they, and he said that if they found out about the real him. Then I asked him whether or not he wanted to marry me and he sent like a million smiley faces and said yes yeh meri khushkismati hai blah blah blah
I just can't think of a good way to end this
Re: So Very Confused!
Couldn’t find anything on his FB 
And yeah lets hope he does something so meri jaan chut jaye
You guys I do understand this guy will make my life a living hell. I've talked to him a bit more and he just seems so sketchy and is kind of rude. He already is "joking" about four wives and tells me that he'll do things and I can't catch him. He'll say things like my own family has never caught me, tum khud ko kya samjhti ho? But I asked him why did he tell me everything he did and he said mood tha toh bata dia, agar na hota toh na batata. I told him what if I told my parents, or told his and he says go ahead no one will believe you, WHICH IS TRUE. He says that everything thinks he is shareef and he has a good image in front of his family. And from the looks of it, if I get him on skype and ask him to repeat his "confessions" it seems as if he will get suspicious and won't do it.
Also, he says things like "what if we don't get married" and I asked him why wouldn't we and he said "what if YOUR parents decide to end it" which kinda gave everything away at that point. But then I said lol why would they, and he said that if they found out about the real him. Then I asked him whether or not he wanted to marry me and he sent like a million smiley faces and said yes yeh meri khushkismati hai blah blah blah
Lol what a weirdo. Million smileys would have def creeped me out.
I am glad you understood he is not right for you.
Re: So Very Confused!
Bragging about how he's deceived his own family? That demonstrates that he doesn't even respect his own family. He sounds rather sinister.
Joking that he'll cheat on you when you're married and still get away it? As Shakespeare aptly stated, "In jest, there is truth."
Re: So Very Confused!
Yes, yes, and that’s why she asked him questions like “Why wouldn’t we get married?” and “Don’t you want to marry me?” They show how well she understands that he is not right for her. Really, Pisiform? 
Re: So Very Confused!
You know what this situation is so dramatic that maybe you should deal with it the way they do in dramas.
Confront him, team up with him and try to sabotage the marriage by causing misunderstandings between the families so you don't have to deal with consequences all on your own
Re: So Very Confused!
Hey OP, sorry but I forgot, the conversations you're having with him, are you whatsapping him or IMing him? Either way the conversations could easily be screenshotted/saved. Especially the one you had with him recently the one you posted about. I hope you have a record of it somewhere other than what you posted here =/
Asking questions aside, at least now she is thinking of bailing out and not siding or defending his stupid actions. Now she just needs a way to convince her family without actually creating a drama. I see that as progress!
baby steps redvelvet
Re: So Very Confused!
So ummm when’s the wedding?
Ghost14] And will there be biryani and if so can @Ghost14 and #partyslims](http://www.paklinks.com/gs/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=partyslims) attend? /Ghost14]
Re: So Very Confused!
Op, there is no easy way out. You just have to go through the hard way and tell your dad. Save the chat logs in case you need them for refrence.
Things will get ugly for a short period but eventually InshahAllah they will get better.
Re: So Very Confused!
I know this is an extremely difficult situation for you as you have to try to out your fiance who also happens to be your cousin to your family. That's a lot of ...pressure. But, I think that if you have been mature/respectful to your parents all along, then they will take heed. Yeah, they're gonna be a little caught off guard but if you haven't done anything to make them think that you'd be lying about this, then they'll probably believe you--or at the very least take things into more consideration. Talk to your mom/dad--whoever is the closer one to you and let them know. Getting in trouble for talking to your fiance is nothing compared to what you're gonna have to go through if you go through with marrying this d-bag. do you have siblings? or another cousin or elder you can trust? Maybe approach them?
Re: So Very Confused!
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Re: So Very Confused!
Talk to your mom again and tell her to speak to your father if you can't do it. He's not going to divorce your mom over this, that's just BS talk, sorry for being blunt but it's the hard truth.
This is your life we're talking about and not something to be taken lightly. I don't even know why you're wasting your time talking to a douche like this for anyways. Spend your time doing something more productive hun honestly. You said you were going to start your bachelors right? Focus on getting a good education and please find a MAN who treats you right and get married when you are ready because clearly you are not. So please just stop chatting with him and just end it all. He clearly wants YOU to end the relationship. If you want to play games with him then just sign off chat and tell him you'll see him in 3 years at the wedding now. He will squirm. He is right that in no matter what he says his family probably won't believe you over him so why even waste time on dirt like him? Don't tell him you are ending it, give him some stress. Then STOP ALL CONTACT with him and talk to your parents strictly.
If he wants to get out of this marriage, I'm pretty sure he will find a way to destroy it himself.. he's using you as bait. I would let him freak out a bit and not have any contact with him. But act normal. I would then proceed to tell my parents everything, whether they get angry or not it doesn't matter because this is about your future. Just tell your dad straight up that he likes his other cousin and that he's openly challenging you that no one will believe you over him. Your parents won't take a gamble with a guy like this and ruin your life.
Re: So Very Confused!
Bragging about how he's deceived his own family? That demonstrates that he doesn't even respect his own family. He sounds rather sinister.
Joking that he'll cheat on you when you're married and still get away it? As Shakespeare aptly stated, "In jest, there is truth."
Pray tell me from where did you get that line? I'm too lazy to google.
Re: So Very Confused!
Pray tell me from where did you get that line? I'm too lazy to google.
It's from King Lear.
Re: So Very Confused!
Guys like these deserve those witch like evil wives. He'll think about you one day when his evil wife is giving him hell and he can't get out of it. That's what guys get for ditching good mannered women.
I want his future wife to be totally evil like a desi version of Cruella De Vil but 10x worse. Also a younger version of Margaret Tatcher as his current girlfriend. I can't think of evil women but deserves the worst of the worst. I hope gets married to a half indian and half african guyanese woman.