So Very Confused!

[Deeba1234]

Re: So Very Confused!

@borntobe1990

I get the feeling that you’re not taking anyone’s advice seriously, but still, if I were stuck in your situation, this is what I would do..:

I’d have a chat with my Mum. Completely casual, and absolutely no need to give The Boy any advance notice at all.
I’d say something like “Mum, would you be OK with me getting married to someone who’s failed a university exam? It might not be the guy’s own fault. There are lots of distractions for students nowadays. What if the guy was really nice? But what if he did drugs? It doesn’t sound like he’;; be able to get a very good job in the future, but you never know, he could get lucky and sort himself out in a couple years.” and I’d let her think about it.
Then I’d ask “What do you think about people who have boyfriends and girlfriends before they get married? I don’t think it’s too bad. But what if someone cheated on his fiance and had a girlfriend at the same time? It doesn’t sound like he has any morals or decency, but you never know. Would it be OK if he came from a good family background? What do you think?”
And obviously no one’s mother is a fool. She’d know something was up. Then, I would explan all the details from the chat between you and yourlow-life fiance. I’d sum it by saying “the boy sounds like the worst match possible. I don’t want to get married to a cheating drug user who has no manners and can’t even speak to me pleasantly. But it’s your choice. If you think I deserve a husband like that, then don’t do anything. If you think I deserve a better life than that, please break it off.”

I think her parents will just say it’s not true, it’s malicious gossip or he’ll change after marriage - even if deep down they know otherwise..

I find it hard to believe that with him being her cousin they don’t have even the slightest inkling..