Re: so the **** hit the fan, …
Nadz, I agree with you that if you’re hiring a maid, then you have every right to tell her exactly what work you expect her to do. If the maid doesn’t like it, she can quit.
BUT you don’t seem to understand one big issue here…YOU did not get paid help. You did not hire the maid, you do not pay her salary, and you do not have any authority to fire her. So your opinion of what chores she should do, and how she should do them is really of no concern to her. Nor should it be. The “kaamwali” is intelligent enough to understand that the ONLY person she needs to please is your MIL…the person who pays her salary and the ONLY person with the power to fire her.
When YOU actually get paid help yourself…then you can sit back and let YOUR help know that you expect her to do everything.