Re: So the girl you like...
Initially, a big issue might be whether to conduct the wedding ceremony according to Shia-ism or Sunni-ism. In Shia dharam, wedding rituals are very different and their maulvi recites very different verses during Vivah, unheard of in Sunnite scriptures.
Then the question arises what would be the dharam of the children? If any side is Kat-har, they would definitely put pressure to raise kids to follow their *Dharam.
*
Re: So the girl you like...
I have attended a wedding verses of nikkah are same in both but the difference is in the number of lawyers/wakeel and witnesses...which is nothing
Initially, a big issue might be whether to conduct the wedding ceremony according to Shia-ism or Sunni-ism. In Shia dharam, wedding rituals are very different and their maulvi recites very different verses during Vivah, unheard of in Sunnite scriptures.
Then the question arises what would be the dharam of the children? If any side is Kat-har, they would definitely put pressure to raise kids to follow their *Dharam.
*
Re: So the girl you like...
I'm not even on board with stuff kattar Sunnis do,** therefore a lot of Shia rituals make me very uncomfortable, particularly their practice of 'cursing' and excessive mourning/self harm. I am sort of hoping she isn't too hardcore on this stuff, and it doesn't appear so either**.
Now, read that again yourself bro.
People aren't hardcore about stuff, but when it comes to ''them'' as opposed to ''us'' things.. difference do come apparent. Just ask yourself, will you be ok with kids doing Shia things having those beliefs?
Re: So the girl you like...
Interesting responses here. And yeah, the 'them' view does exist, this is something that has been ingrained into us, that 'they' do things this way. And I'm pretty sure I don't want my kids following the shia practice, I am trying to be open minded about this but I know that deep down I'm not comfortable. Just had to go fall for someone of a different sect -__-
Re: So the girl you like...
Depends on how religious you are and she is.
E.g. you guys can marry, and have kids and bring them up as Muslims who know the qalma and paacha waqt ki naamaz and know what it is to be a good Muslim. My point being sometimes Sunni identify themselves as Suni and Shia as Shias but like you e.g. I just think I am a muslim at the end of it all, I try not to think if I am a sunni or shia or this or that.
I have a distant relative who married a Shia, despite family opposition, 10 years down the line they are happily married with a few kids and the girl is loved by his family and vice versa.
If you think she is worth it, trust me, go for it.
Re: So the girl you like...
^ Shia's have to offer 3 namaz not 5. Fajr, Zuhrain and Maghribain.
Re: So the girl you like...
While there are examples of shia-sunni marriages working out as Shak stated, there are also examples of it not working out so it depends on both of you. Ayesha Khan is the daughter of a sunni father and shia mother and her parents marriage is working out but she grew up abroad and I highly doubt shes from a religious family.
I think the major hurdle is gonna be the parents. You have to consider if her parents would be okay with a sunni son-in-law. She may not be as religious but her parents could be. If you want to raise your kids sunni would her parents accept that?
Re: So the girl you like...
My sister is going through a similar situation
she really likes a guy and he likes her to but months down the line he just happened to mention he was 'ahmadi' being brought up in the uk we don't really ask about 'sect' it's more are u Muslim or not and that's it
My sister being completely unaware of 'ahmadis' asked my mum who are ahmadis and told her the guy she likes is ahmadi.... He'll broke loose in the house :-( she was so upset because mum said there was no way in hell it was going to happen even though my sister explained that he didn't practise the ahmadi way he jus happens to b born into this n he does nothing different, he's a better Muslim (Sunni) than she is but parents can't accept it
I have no idea how to help her
Sorry for going off track but to you I would strongly advice you to speak to parents first before getting involved with this girl n ur lucky that uv found out now before being too emotionally involved
Re: So the girl you like...
Agree with Shak.. It mostly depends on how religious you are..
I know a girl who married a Shia guy years ago and they are still together and doing just fine.. If you or your partner is very practising and/or determined your kids must be brought up in one or the other sect you may run into problems tho..
(Also need to bear in mind a lot of ppl change + become more religious as they get older)
Re: So the girl you like...
Such a sorry situation when we are living our lives based on nasty and bloody political history (power struggle) of Muslims . Which frankly has nothing to do with Islam and nothing to be proud of either . Its Time to repent and get back to religion that Muhammad (PBUH) brought and not the one that your molvi told us .
Re: So the girl you like...
im a sunni and have close shia friends and go to majlises if it is a close friend's. in fact, just went for a majlis yesterday.
honestly, shias and sunnis have really different beliefs :( you say you pray 5 times a day. they do not. (i think they pray thrice a day - forgive me if im wrong) and their matams etc will make any non-shia uncomfortable. they go for ziarets (pilgrimage) as well.
my suggestion is to move on. marrying a girl from a different sect will be very hard. but maybe you can find out if they are practising shias or liberal.
Re: So the girl you like...
My sister is going through a similar situation she really likes a guy and he likes her to but months down the line he just happened to mention he was 'ahmadi' being brought up in the uk we don't really ask about 'sect' it's more are u Muslim or not and that's it My sister being completely unaware of 'ahmadis' asked my mum who are ahmadis and told her the guy she likes is ahmadi.... He'll broke loose in the house :-( she was so upset because mum said there was no way in hell it was going to happen even though my sister explained that he didn't practise the ahmadi way he jus happens to b born into this n he does nothing different, he's a better Muslim (Sunni) than she is but parents can't accept it I have no idea how to help her Sorry for going off track but to you I would strongly advice you to speak to parents first before getting involved with this girl n ur lucky that uv found out now before being too emotionally involved
My best friend is an ahmadi and i do feel that their ways are more like sunnis (in the sense they do not do any thing ''extra''- ie majlises)
they do however have a different belief on the final prophet. which makes them completely different from sunnis altogether
Re: So the girl you like...
My best friend is an ahmadi and i do feel that their ways are more like sunnis (in the sense they do not do any thing ''extra''- ie majlises)
Its not just majalis and extra rituals, its about belief, for sunnis, Awal Allah wabaad Rasool PBUH.Ahmadis basic core differs from sunni muslims.
Re: So the girl you like...
Its not just majalis and extra rituals, its about belief, for sunnis, Awal Allah wabaad Rasool PBUH.Ahmadis basic core differs from sunni muslims.
agreed. :)
Re: So the girl you like...
She does I'm sure. Statistically speaking she probably knows most people she meets aren't Shias. And those that are tend to have very obvious Shia names.
Guess I'm just going to wing it. See how things pan out. And try to find out meanwhile what my parents think.
hmm whats an obvious shia name? I know a Ali Haider syed that is a sunni... I've never been able to get this shia name thing. I know so many hassans n Hussains Murtaza Razas that are not shia. So no names are not that obvious of an indicator.
Re: So the girl you like...
im a sunni and have close shia friends and go to majlises if it is a close friend's. in fact, just went for a majlis yesterday.
honestly, shias and sunnis have really different beliefs :( you say you pray 5 times a day. they do not. (i think they pray thrice a day - forgive me if im wrong) and their matams etc will make any non-shia uncomfortable. they go for ziarets (pilgrimage) as well.
my suggestion is to move on. marrying a girl from a different sect will be very hard. but maybe you can find out if they are practising shias or liberal.
Shias pray 5 times prayer three times a day.
Fajr
Zohar & Asr
Maghrib & Isha.
Re: So the girl you like...
^ Shia's have to offer 3 namaz not 5. Fajr, Zuhrain and Maghribain.
5 prayers offered thrice. still saying all five. As in even in Hajj days all sunni's read combined .
Re: So the girl you like...
^ It's a small difference, but a difference none the less.
Re: So the girl you like...
hmm whats an obvious shia name? I know a Ali Haider syed that is a sunni... I've never been able to get this shia name thing. I know so many hassans n Hussains Murtaza Razas that are not shia. So no names are not that obvious of an indicator.
They most obvious names which makes you non-shia are names of *The Rightly Guided Caliphs, Umar, Othman, Abu Bakr *except Ali.
Re: So the girl you like...
doesn't matter - such marriages work well