I’ve cried enough in the last few months due to various stressors and I’m trying NOT to cry right now, but I’m so stressed I feel like the sprinklers will go off any minute. What can I do to stop myself from getting to that point, and being able to relax enough to fall asleep? I’m usually always stressed, but in the last week the stress just quadrupled. My mehndi is in 2.5 weeks, which is not helping, because the more I think about the fact that I’m stressed out so close to my mehndi date, the more I get stressed out. I’m afraid I’ll ge sick or get an eye infection (which I’m prone to getting due to stress)
I’m so fed up of it all, I just don’t know what to do anymore…
You need to ask yourself what the underlying reasons are for your stress, is it pre wedding nerves??. Marraige is a huge step for any girl, the thought of leaving your comfortable life, family, friends and entering a whole new world to a new family, new friends, and added responsibility is not something to be taken lightly.
Maybe somewhere at the back of your mind your grieving for this loss??? but look on the bright side, a wonderful life awaits you, a new life long relationship that will be none that you have experienced before, that will be your comfort and support.
Have your last cry, let it all out for everything your saying goodbye to, and then start to enjoy the coming days.
The run up to your wedding should be the best time of your life, enjoy and savour every minute of it, you will look back in years time and regret how you didnt enjoy this special time.
Not sure if it would be considered hasling, but I'm one of the people that gets stuck doing all the work while others sit on their fat tub of lard doing nothing all day. They leave early, when I have to continuously put overtime. Plus there is a lot of unfair treatment, not just with regard to distribution of work, but for example, certain people being allowed to go home early, and the same not being applied to me or the other brown girl (clear discrimination) but it is stuff I can't prove.
I always bring my work stress home. I'm so busy at work these days and all I can think about is EVERYTHING that I have to get done before I take my vacation leave. I start my vacation leave 2 days before my mehndi, but before that I have SO much to get done, I know its impossible.
When the lazy turd on the team refuses to do his work, it is always passed off to me or someone else. I always end up doing the lazy guy's work, but I went to my boss last week and asked for help for the first time in the entire 1.5 yrs I have been there and he had the nerve to tell me "I don't have resources" ...which is bull because almost every week the lazy turd goes to the boss complaining about how he doesnt want to do work and it gets re-assigned to me and others.....so he seems to "have resources" at that point.
It's just crazy, theres so much wrong stuff that is going on at my work place I ccould write a novel, I can't list it all here, it would take forever.
All I know is, I ALWAYS bring my work stress home and it affects me to the point where I CANT SLEEP and I'm always in a bad mood now. :(
a job shouldnt make u feel this bad... trust me, i have learnt my lesson. You should enjoy what you do... a workplace is a place where u prob spend most of ur time, why should you have to be made to feel the way you do..
I know I would LOVE to quit, but I'm marrying a guy that doesn't make the best money right now. In fact I make much more than my fiance and I NEED the money, so quiting is not an option for me. :(
Besides, once you leave the gov't it is very hard to get back in.
sigh Anyway thanks for listening....I'm going to TRY and attempt sleeping one more time, hopefully I will succeed this time. :(
A Job is what you make it, if you allow yourself to be a pushover then thats how people will continue to treat you, even your boss.
You have got to learn to say no and to prioritise your own responsibilities. Working late and bringing work home has never been rewarded by employers, in fact its a statement that says you cannot manage your time!!.
The guys that are out of the door on time and dont look back are the ones that wil excell because they are most likely a lot more healthier and not stressed.
Do you have a HR department?? if so why not try talking to them?, i would seriously sit your boss down and tell him how you are feeling about the over load of work, how others lack of commitment is concerning you, even if he cannot do anything about it, at least he is aware of your state of mind, and may be will be a bit more sensitive when distributing work.
No job is worth your health, remember that, and if you are no longer there the work would still get done.
Canadian Gov't....trust me these things are RAMPANT in the government. Government jobs are SO secure that people like my unethical boss can do whatever they want they will NEVER lose their job.
If I discuss with a Senior or HR or anyone, my boss will make sure I never get another job elsewhere again.
That is my problem, he is keeping me prisoner here. He doesn't want me to get a better job anywhere else, if I did, guaranteed he would try and sabatoge my chances of getting it by not giving a good reference.
For this reason, I never speak out against him, he is ALL too powerful an EVIL man.
sorry.. dont want to be rude, but how exactly does this help the situation?
**
u have to ponder on each and every she'r. look for the meaning thats not obvious. shairi is about words that are not spoken and are hidden for readers to explore. one of the she'r was written by the shaa'ir who had lost two of his young daughters on the same day due to cholera endemic and the world for him ceased to exist, he was a firm believer in Allah and then he wrote:
aalaam e rozgaar ko aasaaN banaa diyaa
jo Gham huaa use Gham e jaanaaN banaa diyaa
these are the words of ustaad sho'araa whose poetry is beyond the words. so, u have to have the understanding...if u lack it, its a sad end.**
candy apple.. what business unit are you in? sounds like an idiot you're working for.
Guarantee is, others know of what a loser ur boss is. If you speak up, you may realise others will start to as well. You cant let urself be pushed around. Its just not on. Like someone else said, its cus u allow yourself to be pushed....
u have to ponder on each and every she'r. look for the meaning thats not obvious. shairi is about words that are not spoken and are hidden for readers to explore. one of the she'r was written by the shaa'ir who had lost two of his young daughters on the same day due to cholera endemic and the world for him ceased to exist, he was a firm believer in Allah and then he wrote:
aalaam e rozgaar ko aasaaN banaa diyaajo Gham huaa use Gham e jaanaaN banaa diyaa
these are the words of ustaad sho'araa whose poetry is beyond the words. so, u have to have the understanding...if u lack it, its a sad end.
i dont underestimate shairy and how wonderful it is... i just dont see how the words are relevant to the situation
and how on earth is this a sad end if i do not understand it all?
There is a limit to which one can take such rubbish attitude from a boss. That too in a well developed country like yours. Seems like he very much knows that you need the job at the moment and he is taking full advantage of it. If I were at your place I also wouldn’t leave the job but I would start looking for another job , he can’t stop you can he from looking elsewhere for job and if Allah willingly you get a good job soon you can quit from here. You can even adjust for settling a salary amount which is a little lower than your current one. Atleast you will be out of this mess.
Second, stop taking this behaviour from him . He is doing all this because you are letting him do . Show some reaction once believe me he’ll think before mistreating you again. Just because you are not showing any disgust or discomfort or disliking to his actions he is doing freely what he is doing. I always say one thing even if you hit a animal the animal reacts back negatively thats how we know that the animal is hurt , you don’t deserve such treatment and you should point this out to him that "I don’t deserve this " and what you are doing is wrong. Once you will show negative reaction , one person at work will come to know , from one another one will come to know believe me these factor does work.
I too had a very bad boss , I put up with his attitude for quite some time then I also started reacting negatively , a few ppl started talking against me and a few in favour of me . I was not the only one who was his target , in the end the CEO himself became his target so he was fired !!! These kind of people dont stay around for long and remember WHEN THE GOING GETS TOUGH THE TOUGH GETS GOING !!!
everything will be fine Insha Allah