That is exactly my dad's concern which seems kind of illogical to me because I'm IN school already (and already was before I met my BF) and neither one of us has any desire to quit; we both worked very hard and had to take the nontrad route to medicine so giving up doesn't seem like it's gonna happen.
I'm glad that everything worked out for you like that. If my dad remains adamantly against this, I was thinking of having my SO call him and speak to him about his concerns. He's extremely mature and has everything planned out financially and otherwise so he should be able to calm my dad down. The problem is that when they were over, my dad made no effort to ask him about any of this stuff.
I know what you mean but looking at it from his perspective now, I can understand the uncertainty as well. I mean being blunt, a lot of people fail out every semester, many can't hack the pressures of med school and some even quit during rotations or residency. It's a difficult career path and one that needs A LOT of determination and hard work. I never thought I could hack it.. there were times when I too wanted to just quit and eff it all. But my parents and my husband always supported me and I got through the tough times. I think your dad is just worried that marriage will hinder that dream and you'll get distracted, these aren't illogical for him because we all know someone that this has happened to. There were relatives that even talked a lot of trash to my dad that hurt me a lot. People I had respected very much, they said things like *"that's what you get for investing so much money into a girl.. should have just gotten her married off right away.." *
But I remained adamant and my parents saw that in me, that I wasn't going to waver from my decision to be with him.
I think getting your SO to talk to your dad is a good idea. If I had just called my in-laws over at that time, maybe it would have turned into a bad scene quickly and relations would have gotten ruined. You have a great advantage as your husband will go through med school with you, he'll understand your crazy schedules and you will have a solid support system and partner through it all. Mention that to your dad. The more your dad sees how responsible you two are and how committed you both are to your careers and to each other he will come around.
I know what you mean but looking at it from his perspective now, I can understand the uncertainty as well. I mean being blunt, a lot of people fail out every semester, many can't hack the pressures of med school and some even quit during rotations or residency. It's a difficult career path and one that needs A LOT of determination and hard work. I never thought I could hack it.. there were times when I too wanted to just quit and eff it all. But my parents and my husband always supported me and I got through the tough times. I think your dad is just worried that marriage will hinder that dream and you'll get distracted, these aren't illogical for him because we all know someone that this has happened to. There were relatives that even talked a lot of trash to my dad that hurt me a lot. People I had respected very much, they said things like *"that's what you get for investing so much money into a girl.. should have just gotten her married off right away.." *
But I remained adamant and my parents saw that in me, that I wasn't going to waver from my decision to be with him.
I think getting your SO to talk to your dad is a good idea. If I had just called my in-laws over at that time, maybe it would have turned into a bad scene quickly and relations would have gotten ruined. You have a great advantage as your husband will go through med school with you, he'll understand your crazy schedules and you will have a solid support system and partner through it all. Mention that to your dad. The more your dad sees how responsible you two are and how committed you both are to your careers and to each other he will come around.
Yeah, I get what you/my dad are saying and they're completely valid in terms of people failing out. Unfortunately, there's no guarantee and like you said, people don't make it through residency even so there's always risk involved; at some point you just have to go for it.
We've all been trying to get my dad to understand that we're both committed to school and that being together will actually be LESS of a distraction and better since we'll both be doing rotations together so we'll have that support that we'd be lacking if we just went off on our own for the last 2 years of school.
I told my dad that I can have my SO call and my dad said that that wasn't necessary. Not in a bad way/angry tone, either. He just said that he didn't need to speak to him. So I have no idea what is going through my dad's mind at this point. I guess we'll see when he has to book his plane tickets in the next few weeks to go visit their family. :S
Yeah, I get what you/my dad are saying and they're completely valid in terms of people failing out. Unfortunately, there's no guarantee and like you said, people don't make it through residency even so there's always risk involved; at some point you just have to go for it.
We've all been trying to get my dad to understand that we're both committed to school and that being together will actually be LESS of a distraction and better since we'll both be doing rotations together so we'll have that support that we'd be lacking if we just went off on our own for the last 2 years of school.
I told my dad that I can have my SO call and my dad said that that wasn't necessary. Not in a bad way/angry tone, either. He just said that he didn't need to speak to him. So I have no idea what is going through my dad's mind at this point. I guess we'll see when he has to book his plane tickets in the next few weeks to go visit their family. :S
Give him time and remain positive. No anger is a good sign :) I'm sure he'll come around, but like I said don't sulk or be pissed off at him. Just be respectful.. I'm sure things will work out for you.
What happened? Did you guys make it? Did your dad come round to the idea of you two being together?
^^ OP is well on her way to planning her wedding! So seems they did mashallah
Haha yeah my dad accepted him-- not very easily though. There's been a lot of ups and downs and wedding planning has only complicated it but my parents, brother and sister love him. so aH.