Re: SO & parents coming over to meet the family
I’m really sorry you’re going through this. I think the best thing to do it just give it some time… always be respectful to your father but firm in your decision, if that makes any sense? I get the whole medical school thing, etc. I was also in med school when I found my hubby and he wasn’t even going to be a doctor (separate professions), it was really hard to convince my parents at that time too. But trust me it’ll work out.
There’s a lot of things at play here unfortunately, the love marriage aspect is one, but it’s also the fact that you both are still studying so your future is kind of unknown to him. I can see why he’s a little concerned because until you match for a residency, medical school is kind of up in the air for both you and your bf. My parents had that same talk with me, and it was a mission to get them on board. If he’s concerned about your medical education and whether or not you both will make it as doctors in the end, evaluate your future plans with your bf and run them through your dad. Tell him exactly what you guys plan on doing. Maybe it will reassure him that you’re not going to end up quitting.
But don’t take anything he says in anger as a direct attack on you. Parents say things they don’t mean when they’re angry and everyones parents have these odd quirks about them. Unfortunately you can’t change him, but I would wait a few days for him to calm down and then respectfully approach it again. Tell him that you love this guy and that you have done everything to be respectful and abide by his rules, but this concerns your future and he is being unfair.
You’re lucky in a sense that you have the support of your mom and the guys family is accepting. If you think your dad will never say no to the guys family directly, then maybe schedule for them to come over to your place again? Sometimes parents create a scene in their own home but become mute when they’re around other people. He might just want that satisfaction of knowing that his opinion matters in your life. If he has no reason to say no to the marriage then allow him to have his little tantrum and proceed respectfully with the marriage plans.
We all spoke with my dad last night and my brother was present at this time. He explained to my dad that even though we understand his concerns, there’s a certain amount of risk associated with any marriage to anyone and he has to weigh the pros and cons. My dad had no other cons when we asked him and my mother said exactly what said about allowing him to have the tantrum but respectfully proceeding with the plans. He’s supposed to plan out our trip to the BF’s home in the next week or so, so I’m hoping for the best.
If you don’t mind me asking, how did you convince your parents? And how did you plan all this out around medical school? thank you so much