Joint family seems dysfunctional to me, I am not saying it's like that for everyone. In most joint families, theres always interference from inlaws and thats something I don't want to deal with. I can't marry someone knowing I will have to live with this family and not get to have my privacy and freedom.
Moving to her husband's house doesn't mean his parents. I would move to my husband's house obviously but thats his own house, not his parents home.
If men would stay home 24/7 with their mother in law, trust me they would get into fights too! Men are not at all more tolerant, it's just that they don't have to deal with all this bs that their wives have to deal with. Obviosuly theres no fights between men and their mother inlaws simply because there isn't much interaction and girls parents usually never interfere with what their son in law is doing. Husbands parents on the other hand, are constantly interfering with their DIL and they expect her to serve them and be obediant. Thats the pathetic desi culture.
First two paragraphs depend on your choice. So no need to generalize.
Third paragraph. Men are more tolerant and you do not agree with that, that's fine.
Now dealing 24/7 with in-laws comes from good bilateral relation. The attitude you are showing will never work to have good relation. There is no need for preconceived notions to hinder future relations.