These days weddings come in all sorts of shapes and sizes. People add their own personal flair to weddings, giving the old tradition something innovative and unique.
With that in mind, do you feel that there is anything that you CAN’T do during a wedding or in preparation for a wedding?
Whether it be clothing, rituals, colors, venue, performances, etc, – is anything off limits?
Re: So is anything off limits?
If you have $$$ nothing is off limits! lol!
:D
Re: So is anything off limits?
When you have an avg pakistani family...everything is off limits :D
Re: So is anything off limits?
I guess there are a couple of things that would justify the limits we set; family tradition, culture, religion, money etc. or maybe a combination of those. it would depend on how much significance (or lack of) we give to these factors that would define our limits.
Culturally, some style of clothing may not be acceptable, however if the event is organised in a manner that allows for such fashion then it may be ok; i mean sleeveless clothing is a big no no in most paki families, even if the event is segregated, its still frowned up despite the fact that there is nothing wrong with it Islamically.
Re: So is anything off limits?
alcohol is pretty much off limits in pakistani shaadi's... some people do serve it, but its generally frowned on.
Re: So is anything off limits?
^^ because pakistan is an islamic country and islam prohibits alcohol :|
Re: So is anything off limits?
my family is pretty much ok with the non segregated gathering...I dont think i have ever been to a segregated wedding..but as far as things being off limits..i would say..they dont appreciate the 'khandan' ki girls dancing....alcohol...indecent clothing..etc.. I cant think of anything else..
Re: So is anything off limits?
FOOD is off limits!! with the stupid 1 dish ban rule!
Re: So is anything off limits?
Wearing a sleeveless lengha/wedding outfit
Black clothes on the bride
No alcohol
apart from that I think my family would have no issues…
oh and my daadi would probably have a heart attack if I say kissed my husband 
Re: So is anything off limits?
Brides in my family don’t wear black for their wedding but my aunt broke that rule 
She wore a black sari for her Valima 
I haven’t seen any bride in my family wearing a sleeveless outfit.
Some of them have arrived at the venue in helicopters (personally I don’t like the idea at all). It gives the impression of showing off 
Re: So is anything off limits?
It's one thing to not like certain ways of doing things or to disapprove of behavior. But for example, is the no alcohol rule for all occasions? Or just for weddings? In families where alcohol is openly served, are weddings an exception?
Are there certain things that are considered inappropriate for weddings?
Wearing black seems to be specific to weddings, of course.
Re: So is anything off limits?
Alcohol would be considered a serious no no at any function in my family, regardless of whether it was a wedding or not
I think with regards to weddings...people let things slide and it's only afterwards..after the weeidng has occurred that the gossip mill begins churning and people pick faults with what was considered appropriate or not...
Just a thought
Re: So is anything off limits?
^ Well, yeah, certainly no matter what you do, there will be someone who doesn't approve or doesn't like it -- even if it's a very traditional wedding! They'll complain it's too traditional and boring!
Re: So is anything off limits?
^ exactly! it comes down to every individual family and circumstance. for example, sleeveless is ok in our family (i had a sleeveless gharara for mehendi), we don't have segregated events, dancing and good times are also not disapproved of, and yes, after our civil ceremony i did kiss my husband.
however, despite my marrying a gora, we had a dry wedding, i.e. no alcohol was served-- his family was a wee bit peeved but they got over it. my parents were footing the bill and alcohol was a strict no-no for them. if his parents had offered to pay for it, would we have had alcohol? i'm not sure. possibly... possibly not. most likely we wouldn't have because the upset it would have caused my parents would not have been worth a few shots.
our guests were about 1/2 and 1/2- gora and desi. would our desi guests have cared if we had alcohol? probably not. did our gora guests care that we didn't have alcohol? not at all.
we had a modest budget and a small wedding (about 100 people) and we only invited those family and friends we were very close to who would have understood the circumstances either way. this is one way to circumvent the gossips :p
i think no alcohol rules applies universally across the board to all events, unless its a family where it is generally considered ok. i know people like that and they tend to have alcohol at all events and not just weddings. but hrm, i think its a fine line... i think sometimes people might do it to show off or show how "open minded" they are, and that bugs me.
Your President: the whole islamic rule doesn't really apply to this question, i think, because we've seen pics on this forum of other muslim weddings where alcohol has been served so clearly it does happen in pakistan, and also because pakistani weddings take place all over the world these days, not just in pakistan. and i think sahar was generally referring to desi weddings.
:)
also on a general note, a very specific kind of khana always seems to be served. has anyone had anything other than desi food at their wedding? this is something i wish we'd break out of more often- italian food, greek food, middle eastern food, good old steak and mashed taters- the opportunities are endless- why do desi people stick to desi food? probably because we also stick to desi banquet halls and those are our only food options there? so then why don't we break out and get married in other venues? is it all peer pressure for the parents, or are we just an unadventurous "qaum" when it comes to weddings?
Re: So is anything off limits?
^ Oh yes, I've been to desi weddings that served American food, Italian food, Arab food. My favorite was definitely the Italian -- so much pasta in cheese. Delicious!
Also, at my BIL's valima, he really wanted a tapas style thing. No big buffet line. He wanted people walking around, enjoying the venue (a historic mansion), and not simply sitting with the same old people the entire time. So even though he ended up doing desi food, he was very specific with the caterers and he and the parents went and met with them several times to make sure they understood the style he wanted. It was delicious food and different from the norm! Every few minutes a small serving of something different would come out. YUM.
If halal is an issue that keeps people going desi, these days a lot of caterers will get meat from wherever you specify and then prepare as directed.
Re: So is anything off limits?
^ oooh tapas sounds amazing! mmm... :)
Re: So is anything off limits?
yummmmmmmmm listening to u girls talk abt tapas and italian is making me sooooo HUNGRYYYYYY right now:):):):)
yeah I once went to a fusion wedding with Persian and Pakistani food and American desserts:)
Re: So is anything off limits?
av never been to anything like that :-( jus the typical desi weddings for me
Re: So is anything off limits?
^ Make yours different :D
Re: So is anything off limits?
my idiot little brother wants to come in on a helicopter—
lame ars!!!
but knowing him he’ll find a way to make is entrance redicoooloooouuuus