Re: So....I'am single now
Its normal to feel this way after a break up. Sometimes you want to go back and be together regardless of what happened because being with someone seems so much better then being single.
You need to focus on being a better person, learning from your mistakes and being productive during this time.
Re: So....I'am single now
I for once will be constructive. You know what you need to do? You need to get a tub of ice cream and dig into it. Or whatever will give you a sugar high for now. Then I would highly recommend a good old cry. Followed up with moping, sulking and generally being depressed. Hit rock bottom - till you are sick and sad of being sad.
The number one thing I have seen with my female friends is that they try to act like everything is normal even after such a serious commitment where there are dreams and mutual aspirations. You lot aren't guys. A good old pep talk and getting you hammered on drinks or nihari will not work.
The first thing you need to concentrate on is yourself. Focus on what makes you happy. Do whatever you please. Mope. Don't shower, wear the same dirty clothes. Don't care. Stay in the funk till you can't stand it anymore.
Don't cover it up. Don't cover up your feelings. Oh yeah take a break from men in general for the next few weeks/months.
Lastly don't get in contact with your ex. That is never a good idea. When women are feeling vulnerable they tend to look for their exes. Not a good idea when you are trying to be independent and standing on your own two feet.
I for once will be constructive. You know what you need to do? You need to get a tub of ice cream and dig into it. Or whatever will give you a sugar high for now. Then I would highly recommend a good old cry. Followed up with moping, sulking and generally being depressed. Hit rock bottom - till you are sick and sad of being sad.
The number one thing I have seen with my female friends is that they try to act like everything is normal even after such a serious commitment where there are dreams and mutual aspirations. You lot aren't guys. A good old pep talk and getting you hammered on drinks or nihari will not work.
The first thing you need to concentrate on is yourself. Focus on what makes you happy. Do whatever you please. Mope. Don't shower, wear the same dirty clothes. Don't care. Stay in the funk till you can't stand it anymore.
Don't cover it up. Don't cover up your feelings.
This is pretty good advice that can be applied to most situations.
But tell me, can guys just "get over it" witha good pep talk or getting hammered?
Re: So....I'am single now
If we take myself as an example or any of my friends. It more a logic game than an emotional wind up. Again only person experience here, but I can withstand a break up if it makes logical sense. Yeah and pep talks work. They have worked in my case and when I have been giving them.
Standard set is around the lines of:
1. Give the wanker the space he needs for a day or two.
2. Go out and get him drunk or have a proper dinner.
3. Attempt to pick up chicks.
Rinse and repeat till it sorts itself out.
A guy will not speak of his feelings to any other guy in 99.9999999% of cases. They will deal with it themselves or their close female friends.
Or they will find another girl. I know I did. After a serious relationship nothing is better than a pep talk - friends - and a relationship you know will go no where and you have nothing to commit too.
I for once will be constructive. You know what you need to do? You need to get a tub of ice cream and dig into it. Or whatever will give you a sugar high for now. Then I would highly recommend a good old cry. Followed up with moping, sulking and generally being depressed. Hit rock bottom - till you are sick and sad of being sad.
The number one thing I have seen with my female friends is that they try to act like everything is normal even after such a serious commitment where there are dreams and mutual aspirations. You lot aren't guys. A good old pep talk and getting you hammered on drinks or nihari will not work.
The first thing you need to concentrate on is yourself. Focus on what makes you happy. Do whatever you please. Mope. Don't shower, wear the same dirty clothes. Don't care. Stay in the funk till you can't stand it anymore.
Don't cover it up. Don't cover up your feelings. Oh yeah take a break from men in general for the next few weeks/months.
Lastly don't get in contact with your ex. That is never a good idea. When women are feeling vulnerable they tend to look for their exes. Not a good idea when you are trying to be independent and standing on your own two feet.
Omg, Take this advice its 100% true, Everything you said i did. Me n my ex broke up because of far too many arguments, But he said he wont stop his dad from asking for rishta again, I dont know if he will or not, And quite frankly i've cried sooo much over this guy, i dont care anymore. Seriously everyday im getting stronger, When i first broke up frm this guy i was in pieces, Now we've broken up again i cried for about 2 days non stop. Now im alright, i miss him now n again and i even get the urge to call him up, But i've left it and see whats gonna happen, And instead of moping about crying over him, i've actually put my negativity into positive by trying my best to find a salon to do apprenticships with, The key is to keep busy. The more i keep busy, jus little things like watching tv, a film, being on GS, looking forward to my best friends wedding. etc. It makes me kinda jus forget him. And who knows what will happen, i aint gonna worry no more.
And i had alot of dreams with this guy, we planned so much, thats why the first time when we broke up it hit me hard because i thought what am i gonna do now? NOW i think you dont need a man to fullfill you dreams, Inshallah i can do them myself. And watch.... He'll be the one to ring me first. And if he doesnt, Forget him.
Re: So....I'am single now
sorry guys, i went kinda underground for the last week or so and couldnt thank you all for your lovely suggestions.
They were all so sweet and I really hope no one, not even my worst enemy, goes through this pain.
Love you all xxx
Re: So....I'am single now
whatever Allah does He does for the best. Be thankful you realized this now instead of after nikah, i mean its better to break it off early then later, especially if the stuff you both were not agreeing with were basic things.
sorry guys, i went kinda underground for the last week or so and couldnt thank you all for your lovely suggestions.
They were all so sweet and I really hope no one, not even my worst enemy, goes through this pain.
Love you all xxx
How are you doing now? Has anything changed?
My parents broke my rishta off on my say-so. It just wasnt working out between us and we didnt see eye to eye on a number of things especially career and children. Plus his family were very traditional and we arent. We used to get along so well but the arguments have started getting worse and really crude. I just made the decision that I cant live with someone who is so controlling and unwilling to compromise.
I feel like Ive been hit by a bus because he was such a nice person and I feel like I gave him alot of grief which I will be punished for. It's just sad that it didnt work out and I keep getting upset about it. I know time is a great healer but the wound is too big right now.
I feel like there is no one else out there but my parents keep reassuring me that there will be many. Although we argued so much, there were many times when we we understood each other very well.
So, no wedding in July and no move to Canada (which I was really looking forward to) :'(
Has anyone else been through this? Were you able to find someone better?Did you ever look back and say "I made the right decision?" because right now I feel like I didn't.
Something similar happened with me recently, my parents and I broke off my rishta as well. My parents had their concerns and I had mine but liek you I feel guilty as well towards the guy, since he was really nice but honestly when i think about it we have different goals in life so it would have been very difficult to adjust. Plus I would have had to move to Pakistan and going back after 10 years would be have very tough.
I feel like I hurt someone than how can I expect to be happy in life and find someone else. I think that Allah will punish me for doing this but then my parents reassure that if this happened its because whatever happens its because Allah meant for it to happen.
It was hard to make the decision because a part of me thought I could make it work and I should go with the flow but a part me didn't want to because I had dreams and goals of my own. I felt I had to give too much up and sacrifice literally my identity so choose to brake it off and follow my dreams. I still sometimes get upset cause I worry things wont go as I want them to as far as my career and education but I made a decision and I must move on.
I hope and pray to Allah that our future will be bright and we can achieve success and happiness and not be punished for this decision.