OMG . I was so thinking about that when I was making my screen name. but burfi sounded to close to barf, and I could just a rowdy guppy making fun of me there, so i chose gulab jamun
Re: So....I'am single now
gajar ka halwa?
Re: So....I'am single now
You had very valid reasons to make the decision you did. I think we've all had to make decisions like that in our lives, whether relationships or work or personal decisions or whatever. Some decisions just are not clear cut.
But, you have posted very valid reasons for breaking it off. You were looking out for yourself, and yes, you might have had some understanding with him...but there are lots of people in your life that you can relate to and connect with, and he isn't the only one. You still have a strong support system.
And yes, you are a SMART and NICE girl, you will find someone likewise. Definitely, never marry someone who gets crude in his arguments, or isn't willing to compromise. He might agree with you on some things, but on other things, he will do whatever he can to get his way and you will end up suffering. And guess what? He's a desi boy. His parents raised him to not care for women. So you would have been screwed.
:)
Re: So....I'am single now
Thanks PCG.... I agree with you but I feel so alone right now its unreal.
Like someone just pulled the rug from under my feet and Ive landed flat on my face.
I also think that since my parents werent happy with this rishta then it wasnt going to succeed. I didnt have their barkat as it were.
Re: So....I'am single now
Its natural to feel that way. Give it a few days, and life will return to the normal routine. He probably feels the same way.
Aww Stardust, you may feel sad now but you did the right thing, arguments BEFORE marrying and arguments on such big issues like kids = dont go there lol. i hope you feel better soon, in the meantime eat lots of chocolate - my heartily recommended advice!
Re: So....I'am single now
Hey stardust, This guy was never gonna compromise with you, and he certainly didnt want you to have a career after marriaged, Hence why he was 'forcing' you to have kids str8 away.
Arguments are awful especially b4 marriage.
Who knows Allah might have someone much better for you. Might not seem like that now. But trust me... Im kinda in the same boat as you, hang in there sweety xx
Re: So…I’am single now
Hey Stardust -
I am sorry you are so hurt right now 
… and even though it is difficult to comprehend right now - it is all the best for you that this happened. In your heart you know this as well. Allah has something better in mind for your …always remember that. I am a firm believer in destiny and everything happens for a reason. We may not know the exact reason at the time being… but the truth always comes out. InshAllah you will meet a guy who you will not have to sacrifice anything for/you will never settle on anything. You guys will have such a wonderful understanding that arguments of this multitude will not happen. Because honestly, this was not normal sweetheart. You deserve to be in a much better position with a very supporting guy behind you. Guys need to realize that their girl is to be their wife… the future mother of their children. They have to respect you and your wishes alot. They need to cherish all of you … this includes your dreams. And this goes both ways. But it is hard for it to go both ways when one person is not on board. So keep giving yourself tasaali on this that this is the right thing that has happened …
Always remember also that Parents want their children’s happiness more than anything in the world. They love you so much and truly want you to be a in good position in your future life. You are their responsibility until you get married and they do know what it is best. You were having arguments on big issues… your parents are mashAllah amazing people for realizing that this was not good. Think about all the poor girls out there that are stuck in unfortunate marriages because their parents were too scared about “log kya kehain gain?”. You parents are strong and wonderful people for coming to this conclusion. And you need to be strong as well hun.
I had a friend that went through this. She was beyond devastated …even though she knew it was for the right reasons. One has their dreams and mindset completely taken away from them in one instant and it is hard to get back. It will take some time for sure to get over this shock and grief. Keep yourself busy as much as possible. FOCUS ON THOSE STUDIES AND CAREER girl! Allah obviously gave you intelligence and motivation… make use of it … and make your parents proud of you. Hang out with girlfriends and get tons of quality girl time in. Watch movies that you have been meaning to watch and never got around to. Read books. Have heart to hearts with your parents and other family members. Just really focus on yourself and do things that truly make u happy… even if it is eating icecream out of tub in bed while watching a chic flick 
Best of luck to you… inshAllah you will be fine… I know it. 
Sorry to hear about it Star. I ask Allah swt to make your life easier and recover you from your grief. And recover each and every one of us who went though these sort of issues. This is what i told myself too that inshaallah everything is going to be ok and i am slowly recovering myself as well. As i have been through almost same problem. But alas, we are all here temporary in this world lets make the best out of whatever we have at the moment.
Re: So....I'am single now
Now I want barfee.
Re: So....I'am single now
^ Im eating green barfi, AND im gonna have white next!
ha!:p
Re: So…I’am single now
goodluck STAR :k: I can`t say if it was the right thing since i cannot base my judgement with only one side of the story, however if u think that this was the best for the both of u then I guess it is the right decision. :k:
Re: So....I'am single now
You don't guess. You know.
You don't guess. You know.
okay then :D
Deep down you should know whether you made the right decision or not.
Arguing over hypothetical scenarios and having parents involved prior to marriage is something you should learn from this experience.
I read the whole painful things and the witty comments from allover but I just couldnt understand one thing. You were in harmony just one week before everything was over. Then you got engaged in arguments, that got increased and you decided to finish everything...
My simple point is, dont you think arguments happen all around..even these alwaz happen among married couples as well. But is it wise to finish everything once you get engaged in a argument without considering you were good earlier and can be good again settling everything down.
May be I'm just beating about the bush and wut is done is done. But im just thinking, inshallah you'll get another guy who will be better but you may get some arguments with him as well on some other topic. Wut will u do then?
Dont you think if some guy luvs you terribly, he has a right to oppose you as well instead of saying "yes mam" on everything.
I hope you know what I'm trying to say here..
I'm sorry if i'm scratching it over but I dont want you to get hurt again..
Re: So....I'am single now
ohh Stardusttttttttt Gawwdddd Im soooo sorry hun........ohh god... its really bad news sweets.... at the end of the day you made a decision that you feel is right and it was made not very lightly- I suppose its good that it happened now rather than have risked all that time, turmoil and effort .. inshallah Allah knows best and things happen for a reason- now sweets you just make dua and inshallah allah swt will guide you... Thinking of you hun and inshallah will make dua for you all ..xx
Re: So....I'am single now
This give rise to another question.
How much we are (or we should be) willing to adjust/compromise with the spouse given the spouse is otherwise a really nice/caring person (hubby or wife) but controlling? what will be your personal choice from one who is nice but controlling and another who is "do whatever you want to and let me do what I want to" type ?
Re: So....I'am single now
You may feel the guilt and all the emotions right now, but having said that if the guy was that immature, and had anger tantrums, you really wouldn't walk in to that mess. You should count yourself on the lucky side, that you find out before marriage. But too bad you won't be immigrating to Canada, its -20c today.