^^ PCG, neighbors have far many rights than we even know of. Of course things here in the US are a bit different as many folks don't even know their next door neighbors, but let's say there is an Islamic community and a subdivision consisting of a large number of homes...I forget the measurements, as a muslim, we need to be aware of anyone who needs our help. We are accountable if our neighbor went hungy...let me not get into this because though I've heard the rulings & hadeeth several times I unfortunately can't remember the details.
Having said that, it is important to respect and care for elders. Adab for elders is a great virtue. And yes you do get credit points for that. Like someone mentioned, we, and that includes men, suddenly become aware of our Islamic rights when it suits us the most. Other times we make statements like "to each their own" or "there is no compulsion in Islam" or "we shouldn't be judgemental" etc.
The thing is that when we get into a marriage we should have good expectations and treat our in laws like our family. If things don't work out for some reason, then yes, a woman can demand certain benefits from her husband. However, to exploit those rights without even trying to be a good daughter in law is just being immature.
Now why our desi girls don't stand up for their rights? Cultural influence perhaps?
that is very different than the expectations some families have of their bahus. Some bahus get seriously ABUSED. Yes, you have an obligation to take care of people. But why is it when marriages are arranged, the girl's parents are never taken into consideration. What happens to those parents if they have no son? They're pretty screwed. But RARELY will you see a girl's family move in with her, or a guy move in with his in-laws to prevent them from being lonely or in cases where those parents have medical conditions and they need to be monitored or taken care of more around the clock?
Don't try to equate the rights of neighbors with our responsibilities towards our inlaws. It only makes sense that a guy's inlaws deserve the same treatment that a girl's inlaws get, but that's not the reality. We are skewed to treat our inlaws better than we treat our own parents as girls, and our husbands have zero responsibility, culturally, to help our parents.
Not such a big deal if you have brothers, but if you dont have brothers, your parents are pretty much out of luck.
That's not fair at all. And how is that Islamic?
Regardless, women have more rights than our culture affords to them, and they should stop being scared and demand those rights. We still live in a culture where girls sign their nikkahnamas without reading the final copy.