Reha
April 27, 2010, 7:43pm
86
I find it funny how we desi girls, especially lately, have started to bring religion into everything when it suits us. However, when it doesnt suit us (for instance the hijab issue, modesty, namaaz ), well then they will just bring in the society, work, busy time etc etc …
No one is obligated to do anything for anyone, not even a son or daughter if they dont want to. So as long as the bahu is living with the inlaws in the same house she has got some responsibilities whether it is written black and white in Islam or not. If our desi bahus can demand the same amount of gold and bari (as jehaz) for the inlaws daughter (yes I have seen examples of tht here on GS!) then I think they should start thinking of their PIL as parents only and not inlaws.
I have never in my life ever heard anyone “openly” demanding jahez and where I come from, only jahil and indecent people would ever do that. Though most well off families do give their daughters jahez because of their own reputation, they want to show everyone how well off they are.. typical desi
I do understand your point, and I agree Islam has given a woman loads of rights, but dont you think it is kinda hypocritical to demand your (=generally speaking) rights when you dont even fulfill your farzs. For me that is like asking my boss for a bonus without doing the work .
Have you ever asked your parents if they would like to live with you (incase u dont have brothers), because generally speaking most desi parents couldnt dream of living with their daughters and their family. For most of them it is a tabu, something one does in desperation. I dont think you can blame the husbands entirely, I know a lot of guys who are very respectful of their inlaws and would do anything to help them, but the inlaws dont want their help because its the damaad.
*I think its funny to see/read how we keep coming back to the “poor bahu”-syndrom , which is not entirely true, because a lot of inlaws are actually quite nice yet the bahu’s are suffering from the “poor me” syndrome … just like our desi society!
Hmm .. How about you read my very first post instead of jumping to your own conclusions. Obviously you are not getting my point at all. There is no where in my post that I indicated or said that women should be treated as animals or whatever it is that you think I am saying!
My first post was solely about being good to your PIL whether it is demanded in Islam or not. Just like your first post was about Islam given u the freedom to not help your PIL because it is not mandatory! And I simply compared it to the stuff which is farz upon us yet we dont do it, so why are we so fast on picking the things which demands nothing of us!
My point so far has been not that girls shouldnt take care of their inlaws…its that girls need to know their rights and power. Just like PILs need taking care of…so does that girl that decided to live with them.
If she doesnt get treated like a daughter/sister/wife…dont get upset when she decides to demand her rights.
It may be funny for you but its not funny for people who go through it.