First of all, I think some girls are developing a more “low tolerance” policy, but I wouldn’t say that the “zero tolerance” Policy is in vogue with most girls. Most girls are willing to help out within their means to help out family, and I know few girls who would shut the door on their inlaws faces. None of that has to do with education or progress, because the girls who treat their inlaws like CRAP, are all girls who were raised in some dinky area in Pakistan, have low-class behavior to begin with and are generally uneducated being barely matric-passes. I know a couple of girls who don’t let their inlaws come over, dont let their inlaws see their grandkids, and not one of those girls went to college. They were all raised in poor areas of Karachi, where low-class behavior is often seen with those sort of families in general.
However, a policy of lower tolerance is generally good. No, you should not let your MIL come into your home and live with you and do the following:
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Tell you how to cook, clean, and do it exactly as she does it, and if you God forbid, do things in your own style, you’re made to feel like crap for it.
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Embarass you in front of your husband.
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Try to create problems between you and your husband. Like tell him you might be cheating on him or something silly like that.
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Stop you from working “Ab bohat ho gaya, ghar mein bheto and be a proper wife”. WTH???
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Not let you go anywhere with friends, because a proper wife never leaves her home without her husband.
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Not let you make any financial decisions.
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Grab your husband’s check every week and decide what she wants to do with it , and you’re lucky if you get some scrappings.
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Order you to clean all the house and do all the cooking, while she sits back and watches her dramas.
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Forbid you from seeing your parents and your friends.
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Forbid you from going on the internet, emailing anyone, monitoring where you go, not letting you do groceries or shopping alone.
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Dictating what you wear at home - i.e you can only wear SK at home, and not jeans.
Things like that, there should be a zero tolerance policy on.
It’s the fact that we’ve been tolerating that kind of crap for centuries, that this sort of MIL dominance even occurs in the first place.
These sort of things just cause for stupid unnecessary fights.
And its not even that. Sometiems a MIL only has to have a sarcastic or negative tone with her bahu on a regular basis and that’s enough to cause problems. If you dont want her as a bahu, you should either
- Not have let him marry her in the first place
OR
- Don’t live with her. Go off and do your own thing and meet up with your son individually, you old miserable crone.