So I got to thinking...

[Sweetmoi]

@PyariCgudia

that is very different than the expectations some families have of their bahus. Some bahus get seriously ABUSED. Yes, you have an obligation to take care of people. But why is it when marriages are arranged, the girl’s parents are never taken into consideration. What happens to those parents if they have no son? They’re pretty screwed. But RARELY will you see a girl’s family move in with her, or a guy move in with his in-laws to prevent them from being lonely or in cases where those parents have medical conditions and they need to be monitored or taken care of more around the clock?

Don’t try to equate the rights of neighbors with our responsibilities towards our inlaws. It only makes sense that a guy’s inlaws deserve the same treatment that a girl’s inlaws get, but that’s not the reality. We are skewed to treat our inlaws better than we treat our own parents as girls, and our husbands have zero responsibility, culturally, to help our parents.

Not such a big deal if you have brothers, but if you dont have brothers, your parents are pretty much out of luck.

That’s not fair at all. And how is that Islamic?

Regardless, women have more rights than our culture affords to them, and they should stop being scared and demand those rights. We still live in a culture where girls sign their nikkahnamas without reading the final copy.

Have you ever asked your parents if they would like to live with you (incase u dont have brothers), because generally speaking most desi parents couldnt dream of living with their daughters and their family. For most of them it is a tabu, something one does in desperation. I dont think you can blame the husbands entirely, I know a lot of guys who are very respectful of their inlaws and would do anything to help them, but the inlaws dont want their help because its the damaad.

*I think its funny to see/read how we keep coming back to the “poor bahu”-syndrom, which is not entirely true, because a lot of inlaws are actually quite nice yet the bahu’s are suffering from the “poor me” syndrome … just like our desi society!