I dont know if you guys remember this…but approximately ten months ago i posted on this forum because i was getting engaged and i wanted some opinions on making the decision.
Anyhow, long story short…i broke it off about 1.5 months ago. It didnt work .
The parents of the guy were nice and my parents were happy and i used to like the guy too. But i felt i got too clingy after the engagement and every little thing used to bother me. I was miserable. I was afraid of it ending at any point. Thing is I didnt really see him during this time of the engagement. I tried, he avoided it and then i just gave up.
Anyhow..i’m not happy right now and i’m really sad and i feel like i’ll never find anyone while his life’s full of girls..(that was part of the reason i broke it off). There were other reasons too. Every day is SO TOUGH. its the same recurring thoughts that i cant get rid of.
I need some guidance on how to move on basically… or if anyone can share their experiences of a broken engagement/heart/ anything and how they coped, moved on and then found someone else. That might be a bit uplifting. Thanks.
You were engaged to this guy, that's a huge deal. You invested a lot of emotional energy into him....so it will take time for you to move on, but it's not impossible.
Seek patience and peace through prayer. Allah has a plan for everyone...and this guy wasn't meant to be. If there are a ton of girls out there for him, there's no shortage of guys either. It's easy to put someone up on a pedestal. But reflect over his negative qualities that were hurting you and the relationship......and realize that it's better to end an engagement than a marriage. At the same time, also reflect over your mistakes too. If you felt that you were being too needy.....try to figure out why. Learn from your mistakes and try not to repeat them in the future.
His parents may have been nice but at the end of the day...it's the two of you that need to be compatible. And if the engagement broke, then that means you guys didn't see eye-to-eye on issues that could have become an even bigger deal later on. Do you really think you would have been at peace on your wedding day.....considering all the issues you had leading up to the wedding? You're hurt, but you're alive. You made it. You have LOTS to be grateful for (think of those who have far less than you in this world). You are a whole individual (not half of a person) and your identity and self-worth is not dependent upon attaining some guy. You WERE doing fine in your life BEFORE he entered it...............you had happiness in your life BEFORE he entered..........and you'll get there again. Your path has been cleared to find someone much better and more compatible.
You said you were miserable during the time you were engaged to him....you're not supposed to feel like that if you're engaged to the right person. I seriously think you've made the right decision even though it might not seem like it right now. And about finding someone else...don't worry about it too much right now, these things take time. My advice would be not to rush into another relationship, it may seem like you can't find anyone right now but you need time to get over this first. Inshallah things will work out for you and you'll put this whole situation behind you.
I've never been through this sort of situation but I'll share my cousin's story with you. She was engaged to this guy who she completely loved...like seriously I've never seen a girl more smitten than she was. Well, due to certain stupid issues (involving money) the engagement broke. He ended it. She was devastated, she couldn't believe he had boken off their marriage over something so trivial. She was upset for quite a while because she truly believed he was 'the one'. However, she moved on...it took time but like I said before these things take time. She got married last summer to one of the most sweetest guys I have ever met and she's so happy right now Alhumdulillah.
I understand you're upset but it's not the end of the world, try not to get too down. :)
I dont know if you guys remember this...but approximately ten months ago i posted on this forum because i was getting engaged and i wanted some opinions on making the decision.
Anyhow, long story short...i broke it off about 1.5 months ago. It didnt work :-( .
The parents of the guy were nice and my parents were happy and i used to like the guy too. But i felt i got too clingy after the engagement and every little thing used to bother me. I was miserable. I was afraid of it ending at any point. Thing is I didnt really see him during this time of the engagement. I tried, he avoided it and then i just gave up.
Anyhow..i'm not happy right now and i'm really sad and i feel like i'll never find anyone while his life's full of girls..(that was part of the reason i broke it off). There were other reasons too. Every day is SO TOUGH. its the same recurring thoughts that i cant get rid of.
I need some guidance on how to move on basically... or if anyone can share their experiences of a broken engagement/heart/ anything and how they coped, moved on and then found someone else. That might be a bit uplifting. Thanks.
I am sad though..really sad. :-/
So you broke off your engagement because you saw some serious issues that would have probably become even worse down the line.
You're smart to even have recognized these things...how old are you? Most people don't know what they're feeling, let alone acting on it.
Look at it this way: you figured out what a lot of girls would have killed to figure out during their engagement period. You didn't marry the man and then divorce him. You didn't have kids and then have to deal with the aftermath of the divorce and how it would affect your kids.
You felt the way you did because he made you feel that way. I know some might object to this but insecurities in a relationship that come out of nowhere don't really just pop out of nowhere...they have a basis. They have a reason. You mentioned there were a lot of girls in his life...you probably felt threatened by them because he didn't maintain his distance as a fiancé should have. You felt like the relationship might end any second because of his attitude towards you and how carelessly he managed the relationship. Any sane girl would eventually feel that way even if she hadn't before.
Ask the girls who married the man you were about to marry!
^ I thought I was, given that she broke it off for such trivial, and rather stupid reasons.
She admits to her faults (being clingy, letting every little thing bother her, etc) But then she also says that she didn't see much of him....and when she tried, he avoided her. Now it could be that his avoidance was a result of her behavior. As far as him having female friends....we don't know how those interactions were. She says there were "other reasons too"...and we don't know what those are. We don't have all the information. Anyhow, hopefully they'll both find some peace.
I am sorry if I sound judgmental, but in the light of the given information I would think she is quite immature and somewhat ill-advised. I believe the guy must have a job? Got engaged and had a million thoughts on his mind? Paying for the wedding, perhaps saving some money for future, keeping the job going in this current slow economy and maybe preparing for the upcoming changes and responsibilities. So perhaps he couldn't treat our lady here like a princess and stay at her disposal.
I am sorry to say, that was very kiddish of you. Being surrounded by girls is not a big deal, you should have had a big heart and imposed trust.
Maybe you broke up so he comes back running towards you, and things turned out the other way. This is the only explanation of why you cant brook the beak up and are feeling sad. I say, Dont think about next one, until you know how to fix yourself. This time you stepped back, next time it could be ur partner, since clingy behavior would put any one off. Good luck!
.