I hope nobody minds me posting such a depressing topic here…but I just need to vent my frustration…
Well for the past week I have had the feeling that I am pregnant…I have lost several babies through miscarriage and now it is getting very hard to live without a child when everyone around me is having babies…
I bought a pack of home pregnancy tests today and did one at work…only for it to show a negative result…
Why me???
I have never done anything wrong in my life…all I want is to make my husband a father…I feel so sorry for him…
I have done so many duas, I know that Allah SWT is listening to my duas and I will only have a baby when HE decides, I so want to be pregnant…but what can I do…??
It seems to be fashionable to have a baby at the moment…yet it’s not something I can go and pick up at the shops…
Ms Wannabe, my heart goes out to you. I completely understand because I went thru the same thing, it took me 3 years and 2 miscarriages before I carried my first son.
Listen, duas etc are fine and a beautiful thing. Just never forget that Allah blessed us all with the ability to seek knowledge and the knowledge to overcome problems. You should seek out a Reproductive Endocrinologist (fertility specialist) who can figure out why you're having trouble conceiving and why you miscarried.
Once I went to such a specialist, I found out what was wrong, we treated it and I conceived and delivered my first boy. After that, I had my next 2 boys without medical interventions. My cycles and hormones corrected themselves. Sometimes this happens, sometimes not but either way, I'd never have had my 3 beauties without the medical assistance of the fertility specialist.
I wish you the very best of luck, its a tough road to be on and may you and your husband grow stronger together for going thru this and supporting each other.
Thats the thing though....they have done every test and investigation that they can, and they say that we have unexplained sub fertility...........thye have done tests on me and my husband....
We have been referred for IVF and this should start soon....the only thing is that we can't start that until I lose weight........and I am trying very hard for that.........
After so long I got my hopes up this time as I have so many symptoms.....
Well for the past week I have had the feeling that I am pregnant.....I have lost several babies through miscarriage and now it is getting very hard to live without a child when everyone around me is having babies.................
I bought a pack of home pregnancy tests today and did one at work.....only for it to show a negative result.....
maybe its just too early to do the test... i have done the same thing and mine showed neither negative nor positive either...then i waited another week or so and confirmed my pregnancy through doctor. I think you should do the same. and try to take care of yourself as much as you can and dont stress out too much. its all in Allah's hands.
If you have done your part and have seeked help....then leave the rest to Allah (SWT)...for He knows what you dont....and He alone knows whats best for you.
also...check your pm plz....although im not sure if u can pm back since you dont have 50 posts yet.
Hi Angel Eyes.....
Thanks for the PM - you are right, I cannot PM you back yet.
I just wanted to say thanks for sharing the information. When I had my second miscarriage, I asked to be tested for that syndrome, it is also called Anti Phospholipid Syndrome. Alhamdulillah the test came back negative so I don't have that.
In a way it's more frustrating that they can't find antything wrong.....
My miscarriages were at 16 weeks, 10 weeks and the last was about 7 weeks (it was unconfirmed as I never did a test)
I might ask the GP to do the test you mentioned again as it's been 4 years since the last time. I will let you know (hopefully by PM) what happens....
In the meantime, please everyone, all my new friends on GS, please make lots and lots of duas for me.....especially all my brothers/sisters/aunties/uncles who are going for Hajj this year...............
Correction to my last post.....I should have said to all those going for Hajj......please make duas for all those Allah ke bandeh jin keh gharr me ek aulad ki kamee hai, jin keh dil meain ek bache keh pyar ki pyass hai............kyun keh yeh joh be-auladoh ka dookh hai woh main kabhi bhi apne dushman peh bhi nahi wish karungi..........
we went thru similar stuff, ectopics, premature birth due to PROM and loss of twins, after that further complications and ectopics. My wife actually felt the exact same way you are feeling. At times she was more concerned for my happiness than her own.
We decided to adopt and are very happy and fulfilled. If at some point in time we are blessed with biological kids again, great.. if not, we alredy had two, even if it as for such a short time, and now we have two adopted babies who have become the center of our universe.
i know you people will not believe me but i started crying reading wbm's message i will make a special dua for you i will call you as wbm in my duas and make a dua may Allah bless you with a healthy and a normal baby soon and i know how it feels when you can't conceive coz one of my cosin is going through the same thing pls pray for her aswel and all my duas are with you wbm and Allah knows the best just have faith on Him and InshaAllah he will listen to you one day and when it is right time Insha Allah take and dont take too much stress coz that is one of the problems i know you can't help it when you are in this kind of situation but if you belive in kismet than you will be at peace coz He will only grant you with a kid when its in your kismet. may Allah bless you with all the joy of a baby (ameen)
We decided to adopt and are very happy and fulfilled. If at some point in time we are blessed with biological kids again, great.. if not, we alredy had two, even if it as for such a short time, and** now we have two adopted babies who have become the center of our universe**.
Hi Angel Eyes.....
Thanks for the PM - you are right, I cannot PM you back yet.
I just wanted to say thanks for sharing the information. When I had my second miscarriage, I asked to be tested for that syndrome, it is also called Anti Phospholipid Syndrome. Alhamdulillah the test came back negative so I don't have that.
In a way it's more frustrating that they can't find antything wrong.....
My miscarriages were at 16 weeks, 10 weeks and the last was about 7 weeks (it was unconfirmed as I never did a test)
I might ask the GP to do the test you mentioned again as it's been 4 years since the last time. I will let you know (hopefully by PM) what happens....
In the meantime, please everyone, all my new friends on GS, please make lots and lots of duas for me.....especially all my brothers/sisters/aunties/uncles who are going for Hajj this year...............
hey that syndrome you are talking about is a bit different then the one i mentioned...im not quite sure about the difference....but the doc told my sis that there is a very slight variation b/w the 2. So plz mention that particular name i told you and give the tests a try.....if it happens to be that then it can easily be treated..inshAllah. Remember there arent that many specialists that know about this test and most dont give it...you have to ask for it.
I actuall have the whole adoption journey, from the decision to looking at options to finding the twins in my journal.
I will be continung that with the whole process and pitfalls and red tapes etc which we had to deal with to finally bring them home.
and thank u, it is wonderful to have them with us.
dont feel sorry for him, you guys are in it together and instead of feelign sorry for oneself or each other, if you are both on teh same page and tackling this together, that is the way to go. he may be sitting there feeling sorry for you. be open.. be a surce of support for each other
The path that you are choosing, or are being led towards is not as easy as people would make you think. The success rates of the procedures, the whole ordeal os preparing, goign through it, and waiting.. is tough and you would only get through it as a couple that is completele in sync.
How can anybody claim to “have **never **done anything wrong.” We sin with each breath we take. We are humans and make mistakes and do wrong so many times(unintentionally/intentionally). my point is that one should ask God for forgiveness always and pray and hope. God listens to all prayers. Sometimes the time is not right, sometimes what we ask for may be harmful for us. Law of universe: the more you chase something the furthur it will go from you. Desperation creates a negative energy. Pray and wait with silent expectation. Good luck
What I mean is that there are people who abuse their bodies, intentionally commit sin, hurt others feelins, go against the teachings of our religion..........then there are the mainly gora people who are into drug and alcohol abuse, yet all these people seem to have healthy babies, whether they are wanted or accidents.................
I assure you that I know that we commit sin with each step we take, each breath we take.......................but until you are in my situation you can never understand how I feel.
I am not arguing against what you said.........I am just saying that it's hard to see a drug addict fall pregnant accidently, hard to see 13 year old girls falling pregnant accidentally................
I did not have a problem conceiving before, which is why it is harder for me...knowing that I have been pregnant many times yet have no child (here) to show for it............in my heart there is also the consolation that Insha Allah my children are waiting for me after death.........this is something that many many people have consoled me with................when I think of that, I have peace in my heart and count myself very lucky as those children will be there waiting for their mother.........................
May ALLAH swt insure you have many children whom grow up to look after you and your husband, May ALLAH swt insure your children are very Islamic, healthy and educated, Ameen...
[quote=“wannabe_a_mum”]
then there are the mainly gora people who are into drug and alcohol abuse, yet all these people seem to have healthy babies, whether they are wanted or accidents…
I am just saying that it’s hard to see a drug addict fall pregnant accidently, hard to see 13 year old girls falling pregnant accidentally…
QUOTE]
Wannabe a mum,
Be strong and keep in mind that Allah (swt) only tests us with what we can bear. All those teenage moms or druggies having babies while not wanting them–their test is probably having the baby and having to deal with that, while yours is not having a baby that is much wanted. I hope that makes sense.
I can’t imagine what you have gone through with your miscarriages, but I hope things get better for you. And also, you get sawab for all of the pain you went through during those hard times, so keep making dua and astaghfar. I hope that makes you feel better.
