As some of you know, I am having a really hard time with finding a suitable rishta ( it tends to be them saying no/being indecisive) of course we have found some people unsuitable too.
My parents are very encouraging or me finding someone on my own and I always say to them but there is no one! which for the most time is true.
I am on a new placement working in Accident and Emergency ( ER/Casualty) for 6 weeks in a new town. The town is full of young asian doctors.
I have noticed something about myself. Whenever i notice a guy looking in my direction or smiling at me I turn away/make a stand offish face/pretend not to see them/always assume they are looking at my friend who everyone seems to like because she is fair and pretty.
I guess I need to change this?
Question : Does smiling come across as slutty/easy etc etc?
(I live in the UK btw so for those in some areas of Pak the culture is a little different and less conservative )
I used to be pretty high in confidence however following bad experiences with guys I guess I have confused myself on female/male interactions.
Of course not! If it's not done with your nose flaring and raised eyebrows, it is perfectly fine. A genuine sweet smile is always appreciated and never "slutty".
I somehow have developed a genuine fear of smiling at guys! I am scared of come across as flirty or something - not that there is anything wrong with that.
I actually make a conscious effort to smile at everyone. A smile on your face makes a person looks happier, more approachable, confident and attractive. It's not a "come hither" look - I smile at women as well - gosh, I smile at the stranger in the elevator and what a nice feeling when the other person smiles back :) I consider it my "I'm happy to be alive and have the many blessings Allah has given me look".
Mind you, if I'm in a bad mood, I may have a scowl on my face, but that's because I want people to stay away and give me my space.
Smiling at women and other people who are not showing any interest towards me I am perfectly fine with.
Its when a man who is young/good looking is looking at me ( in a non perverted manner) and giving me a friendly smile - I just look mean and stand offish or completely ignore and turn away or walk away.
Just because a guy is smiling at you doesn't mean he wants to get with you. Maybe he's wants you to be the sister he never had! A smile is just a smile and just shows you as being friendly. If he's weirded out by a casual smile, then he's got some issues - but yeah your smile has to be a casual smile and not "making cow's eyes, will you be the father of my children" smile.
A desi girl Smiling at fobs or freshers as they call them in UK has different meaning as opposed to those who were born and raised in the West.
So yes you have to be careful when you smile at a desi.
IF SMILING IS SLUTTY THEN I AM THE MOST WHOREISH GIRL EVAR.
i smile at everyone if we make eye contact. i think you overthink a simple smile inspiron, not every guy wants to get in your pants just for smiling at you..
i do understand if it's a freshie who is giving you the creepy looking smile like omgz you are my shining passport just awaiting to be wed. but other than that, smile away! it makes you feel happier ^__^
Ok seems like the general consensus is that its perfectly fine to smile at a guy unless he is a fob who wants to rape you.
I guess I need to work on my confidence levels too.
I literally LOL'ed after reading your 1st post....I always smile if I make eye contact with people (man, woman, kids, young, old, hot, not-so-hot...whatever). Now if the guy is super hot...at times I have been known to turn away and giggle/blush like a 13 year old.
Anyway...yes...please smile and work on your self-confidence. Whether its an arranged marriage or love...you want a man to think that you're worth being his life-partner right? If you don't value yourself....why should anyone else? Before trying to find someone who'll accept/cherish you, you must learn to accept and cherish yourself. :)
Becharay FOBs, they are so misunderstood and maligned 