These are words that are considered offensive and intolerable if another group uses them, but many times members of the targeted group use the words themselves, as a joke. The word “Queer” has been reappropriated by the LBGT community, and that has been a sign of empowerment.
So what do you think? Do you think it’s okay if women call their female friends sluts and whores, if African-Americans throw around the word “N*****,” if people of Pakistani origin call each other Pakis, if homosexuals say things like “that is so gay”?
Or do you think that we’re just making it okay for others to use these terms?
a gay person using the word queer to empower herself/himself is up to them, i can't see myself using that term for a gay friend EVER. all these words(slut/whore, nigger, paki, queer/faggot) were initially used to sting and hurt another human being, degrade them by others that thought themselves to be better in the eyes of God.
who are humans to judge others badly and to see themselves as God's chosen people, it's that arrogance and that attitude of "let me act on God's behalf", that makes them think that they have a right to treat somebody like crap because they have a god given right to.
i don't think any respectable person would us such derogatory terms
These words are like hot sauce and people use them to make a conversation more spicy . But like not all the dishes are hot and spicy , so are all the conversations . One should have enough brains to know his audience and enough control on his tongue .
These are words that are considered offensive and intolerable if another group uses them, but many times members of the targeted group use the words themselves, as a joke. The word "Queer" has been reappropriated by the LBGT community, and that has been a sign of empowerment.
So what do you think? Do you think it's okay if women call their female friends sluts and whores, if African-Americans throw around the word "N*****," if people of Pakistani origin call each other Pakis, if homosexuals say things like "that is so gay"?
Or do you think that we're just making it okay for others to use these terms?
how come N-word is bleeped out? :P
very few words are bad alone, they all have to do with context....I know "Paki" is a racist and offensive term in the UK but I grew up in the US and with my American friends, I will say Paki..because it's not a bad word here.
and even black people, have a distinction between nigger and nigga
and above all, if someone is uncomfortable with a particular word, we shoudl respect their comfort level and not use those words...I don't think anybody will or can be justified in calling strangers/groups those words and not expect to be criticized.
Sahar, from what I gathered, you are uptight if you choose to have a problem with this kind of language and prefer not to speak like this amongst "friends" ...... er, ok.
Contrary to popular belief, cussing, etc. is really not a sign of having a healthy self-esteem or a sign of being assertive.
In School days, there comes a time when its 'fun' and 'cool' to use these words, you feel part of the group, you get the usual cheap thrills by shoving these words down people's throat. However, with time comes maturity with maturity comes responsibility. When you step into the 'real world' as adults and interact with other adults in professional environment, you learn the art of clean and respectable communication, because you are constantly judged through your language, your words start to have so much meaning and there are serious consequences for using the offensive ones. You are made to realise that these words are offensive, why they're offensive and what will happen if you use them. Same could be said about parents who learn to bite their tongues for sake of their children.
To me its all about growing up and growing into certain roles. So I think some people because of their change of environment, attitude, increase in knowledge and understanding naturally learn to disconnect themselves with these stigmatised words, those words for them just aren't light enough anymore to be thrown around for heck of it.
Coming back to your original question, not its not okay to use these words, you are setting a trap for yourself. People who see them as "just words' definitely haven't seen the world besides their friendly drawing room gatherings.
the people that are on the receiving end of such insults use the words or reclaim them so the negative history or meaning of the words is lost when they just say them to each other or use them themselves. they lose their original derogatory meaning, possibly
Sahar, from what I gathered,** you are uptight if you choose to have a problem with this kind of language and prefer not to speak like this amongst "friends" ...... er, ok.**
Contrary to popular belief, cussing, etc. is really not a sign of having a healthy self-esteem or a sign of being assertive.
Not quite, you are uptight if you have a problem with OTHER people using such words amongst THEIR friends, that is what the revealing dress thread was all about.
Cussing, to me at least, is a sign of liberating yourself from the usual conservative and rigid environment to one that is more relaxed-- an environment where it's okay to not dot your is' and cross your ts' all the time. Noting however that there is a time and place for everything, I wouldn't swear in a situation where it would be deemed inappropriate but calling my best friend a dee bag? No problem there, because I still respect him as that is what the base of relationships are.
(p.s I hardly swear so don't ostracize me oh refined and moral people of GS).
Not quite, you are uptight if you have a problem with OTHER people using such words amongst THEIR friends, that is what the revealing dress thread was all about.
Cussing, to me at least, is a sign of liberating yourself from the usual conservative and rigid environment to one that is more relaxed-- an environment where it's okay to not dot your is' and cross your ts' all the time. Noting however that there is a time and place for everything, I wouldn't swear in a situation where it would be deemed inappropriate but calling my best friend a dee bag? No problem there, because I still respect him as that is what the base of relationships are.
(p.s I hardly swear so don't ostracize me oh refined and moral people of GS).
Sahar, from what I gathered, you are uptight if you choose to have a problem with this kind of language and prefer not to speak like this amongst "friends" ...... er, ok.
Contrary to popular belief, cussing, etc. is really not a sign of having a healthy self-esteem or a sign of being assertive.
Yes, and the ones who do say these words are just trash and have bad upbringing.
Totally depends on the context! A lot of songs people listen to have the 'n-word' and they sing that word too..a lot of people like my friends..we all joke about calling each other shlags/paki's without harming anyone. But when words are used as an insult then its totally inappropriate. BUT saying that if someone calls me a paki I'm not one least bit offended because basically they're calling me something that i am i.e a pakistani but just shortening it into what they seem to think is an insult..bit stupid really?
I wouldn’t say you have a bad upbringing. You can have amazing parents who did the best for you, but unfortunately, a lot of people will still blame them, or at least question them (if not directly to their faces) since you are their aulaad. That’s just the way the world works. I applaud you if you are able to not give a crap about what others say.
The last time I made a similar comment, it turned into this big issue about how I was insulting your parents (which I was not). Try and be mature about it this time around.
My point stands–using certain words amongst friends who do not mind it, does not mean a person is trash, or lacks respect for others or is verbally abusive.
If they were to use them for strangers or people who are NOT okay with it, then that’s different.
I’ve said it many times already taht if a person isn’t comfortable with a certain word then that’s fine–they do not have to accept it and the person who says the swear word should apologize and not say it to them/in their presence. Doesn’t mean they’re trashy or disrespectful for using that word in the first place.
and I don’t know how you got that I was taking this personally. Don’t read what’s not there.
Paki where I live is seriously not a bad word and I dont consider it such either.
However I find it inappropriate to call your girl friends slut, wh*re etc etc. Disrespect at its best! Dont like calling anyone that and dont tolerate anyone calling me it either, even if it "for fun" .. No it aint funny!
I dont care what people call each other in their friend groups. if they are fine yelling ***** at each other, be my guest! Just keep it at themselves.
Sara516, in the past you have taken things really personally, particularly on this topic. I just want to ensure you are going to be objective this time round. It makes for healthier debating.
In all honesty, if you want to call your "friends" names all in fun ... I really do not care. I will just avoid your company, which I am sure you will also do the same when it comes to me.
