Very true suroor about the latino americans. I've had first hand experience on the whole "the whiter they are the better". A good friend of mine is latino with beauuuuuuuutiful light bronze skin, dark hair and dark eyes. I love her skin color, and i've always told her that. But a few times while conversing with her she'd be mentioning some of her relatives with "blond hair and blue eyes and white skin" (the typical american beauty i guess) and she's like why did i have to turn out like this, what happened to me, etc. I'm always at a loss of words when she says that, so i just tell her to shut up.
Sun Shine - you are awesome!!!
Its okay, I guess it was my mistake to even open a thread.
NONE of you seem to know what I am trying to say here.
Rest assured that if i find a nice gem that is dark or light, and we are both compatible, I wont come here and open a thread telling you about that.
Boss, maybe try and read my thread again, I hope this time u,ll get it. Dont gve me that stupid black and white logic here. We are talking physical attributes of guys and girls and the preferences. You would ALL be lying if you said you dont have ANY “physical” preference whatsoever. If you are telling me that you dont care if a guy is 4 feet tall or 6 feet tall, as long as hes got a nice personality, or u dont care if a guy is fat or slim or bald or with a nice well groomed hairstyle or hairy or smooth. And I am not talking about extremes here of giving u a choice between an obese fat hairy pig and a hot dude, I am just saying everyone comes in every shape and size and with different physical and mental attributes and intellectual levels, education and what not. Why do you think I even opened this thread? I aint preferring a gori girl over a dark gem ever. And no thats just an assumption on your part thinking my defences are high up against dark girls. If I meet a nice dark girl and I dont hit on her, doesnt mean I didnt hit on them cos they are dark. Maybe they arent my type. I dont go around hitting on gories either. You dont have to hit on every girl you see. When I find someone that i,m excited about. I,ll make sure i hit on them,and try my best to marry them, regardless of their color. And trust me, I wont be asking any of you for advice.
When I look at a girl, I look at how we are gonna be together? what the conversations are gonna be like, would we be happy?how much time we are gonna spend together? what are the things we,d be doing? what does she like/dislike? is she a total bore? or a chirpy chatty one? how is she gonna be as a mother to my children. I might look at her looks too, but you guys would be surprised. I used to always have the weirdest crushes ever. All my friends used to make fun of me for even liking the kind of girls i liked. And lets just say, they werent pretty in other guys books at all. Cos i aint that shallow.
I cant believe I decide to stop the discussion right there everytime by saying ok think whatever u wanna think. I know whats inside me. But i end up writing a whole damn essay again.
Shehreen, I never learnt to speak pashtu 
People call me a fake do number pathan cos of that 
fact....u cant change someones thinking... so why discuss a topic which is so sensitive.. there are loads of guys out there who LOVE tanned skin and dark hair and big brown eyes... who cares if not every guy or girl likes dark skin.... not all the fingers on a hand are the same :)
i apologise...
That's exactly it Sadzzz ... it is an extremely sensitive topic. Unless you yourself have a brown complexion and have actually felt and experienced put-downs and different forms of discrimination and comments from your fellow Pakistanis based on your skin-tone ... then you will never understand WHY it is such a sensitive topic.
yeah mehnaz.. i agree, but i also think kaka didnt mean it in such a way.. i totally agree that skin colour is overrated.. but kaka is saying the same thing (in his own wierd way)
Ooh kaka, does this stem from our little discussion? Um, I wasn't offended by your preference or any other guys' for that matter. I was just saying that I feel that my chances are not as good as a gori girl. Im not in the slightest bit unhappy with my skin colour, I know some gorgeous dark girls with amazing personalities and at the end of the day the skin colour doesnt really matter. But in our community it definitely does.
One little observation of mine is that guys who are medium skin-toned prefer gori girls, as they have a bit of a complex. However, really gora guys have no hang-ups about skin colour. Most of the guys that have been interested in me, have been extremely gora. The brown ones dont fancy me much. Ive noticed that among my male friends too, the dark guys always go for girls much lighter than them. As for me Ive liked guys who are darker than night (think Sri Lankan).
sadzz can"t post for some reason so im posting this for her:
- u all know im a 'dark' person myself.. and trust me ive heard all u can hear bout being dark.. its just uncalled for... but as long as u aint insecure bout ur colour.. then stuff everyone... another thread will open saying.. id choose a short person over a tall one.. or id choose a girl without a koka bla bla bla... someone is always gonna be discrimnated.. its like the hijab issue... -
catty... ive found the same thing true... really really fair guys have no complex, its quite charming actually :) they find darker girls far more attractive then fair ones... sweet
I don't think there's anything wrong with having a preference. What bothers me is when people speak in absolute terms about beauty -- as if their perception of beautiful is the standard for everyone. Then they measure other's worth based upon what they find attractive. That's wrong. But that's not what you seem to be doing, Kaka. I think having a preference is natural, it's a sensitive issue, yes. But we're all subject to the brainwashing and cultural biases of our hometown. No sense in denying them. We just have to be aware.
A side note, one of my cousins who is one of the darker amongst us, commented on how dark girls are never refered to as "pretty." They're always "charming." Anyone else notice this trend?
sadzzz, u dont hafta be nice and take my side. :)
trust me, even though u say understand what I,m saying, u dont.
ur comments saying at least kaka wont be hitting on you all is just that.
liking a fair skin doesnt automatically says that I DONT like all others.
I know the discrimintations that happen in the society and how dark is considered ugly and girl being rejected just cos they are dark....
If u all read my first post, I,m infact saying that its unfair.
what my thread was about was.... Is having a personal preference bad?
preference is a different thing to saying dark is ugly or rejecting dark or saying no i want a gori at all costs.
so far none of u have understood my post, maybe because i,m a fob and my english sux i guess.
Cat, no its not all because of my discussions with u. I,ve had this discussions with others too, and i just wanted a majority opinion. Turns out,,, i,m being stoned to death over here :D
hmm its kinda different here in OZ... the darker u r the more beautiful u seem... its just somethign ive picked up. I know people will come up and say 'uve got beautiful skin'... it all depends on where ur living and how u been raised
kaka.. it was a light hearted joke.... geez...
I have olive skin like most desis and it has always been the white/black ppl i work with who tell me i have beautiful color. I personally feel I am too dark for desi taste and as Catty said, I have a less chance than other gori girls. Nothing against them though. For that matter nothing against kaka either. For all who are telling him that atleast he is honest: well guess what??All the otehr guys who have these preferences are also being "honest". I mean he is nothing special. I have discovered that some people wont even talk to me, they will jsut look at my pic and decide that they dont want to do their larka's rishta with me. That was the most hurtful thing but I am eventually getting over it.
PS: Sorry kaka, dont mean to bash you as a person. Just using you as an example.
Honestly I didn’t know pakistani men think like that. Don’t really know if the women think this way too 
I guess kakay you feel it’s not so right to have such a preference, hain? I guess you can’t help having a preference? Maybe I am wrong…
i just wanted to say that i completey understand what ur saying Kaka.... i mean my sister is sanwli but so many guyz hit on her all the time.... and most of em r gora's..... and she herself says she perfers tanned men.... so its not like she's discriminating against lighter men... she says its just her preference. she says she's proud of her color and wouldnt change it for anything.... she says if anyone perfers lighter skin its fine cause its ur attraction just like short height or weight but ppl r sensitive about it because of our culture..... and if anyone is gonna change it, its gonna be ppl who r darker when they stop thinking so negativly about them selves and stop being so sensitive...... thatz all... :)
so how many of you girls would be willing to marry a "little man"? like 5'1 or 5'2?
bottom line... INSECURITY...
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by sadzzz: *
kaka.. it was a light hearted joke.... geez...
[/QUOTE]
sure...
but just to let u know... i never said or meant I DONT LIKE darker girls. Incase thats in ur head. cos it seems it is.
"who cares if not every guy or girl likes dark skin.... not all the fingers on a hand are the same"