Skin complexion...

Lifestyle Relationships
1

There are so many different shades of human skin color. Some are black, some white, some in between. This basically includes every possible shade of brown, from very pale to white to nearly as dark as totally black. Every region or area has its own native general skin complexion, like europeans are mostly ‘white’, and africans ‘black’, or chinese, who are referred to as ‘yellow’. Every area or region has its own perception of beauty, or wats sexy and desirable.

In Pakistan, most of us are whats known as brown, and a few shades light or a few shades dark. Generally in our society a gora chitta person is considered more desirable or beautiful or more attractive. Every maa wants a gori chitti dulhan for her son, and an average girl desires a gora chitta gabhru jawan.

I was having a discussion with a couple of friends regarding this whole skin complexion and this gora and kala dilemma. Both my friends(females) thought every desi guy wants a gori chitti wife. I somewhat disagreed to it, because its kind of a generalization, declaring that every desi guy wants a gori chitti biwi. The problem here is, as a personal preference, I do favor a fairer girl. Its got nothing to do with looks or personality or that no she has to be a gori chitti sexy hot wife. I would like to think that I am not that superficial. But I am a bit confused. I mean okay we are out of the stone age, we are educated people here mostly, and most of us would like to think that we dont just go for looks and its overall personality and everything, but is having a preference in skin color really such a bad thing? I am not talking about choosing a totally hot gori chitti kuri who has no personality whatsoever over a very talented and bright girl with a good personality whos dark and not as ‘lucky’ as the gori girl when it comes to looks. I am talking about, if you had a choice, between two girls with really nice personalities and both are pretty smart and intelligent and sensible, one fair and the other a bit dark. If the guy prefers a lighter skin, which doesnt mean he thinks dark is ugly, but just personally prefers a lighter skin, is that really being unfair to the darker girl?
I dont know if i made any sense here but my question basically is,
Is it a bad thing? having a personal liking for a certain skin color over another? I am talking marriage here.
I mentioned this to a couple of my friends who both happened to be females, and told them that I,m not being a superficial shallow ******* when I say that I would fancy a lighter skinned girl over a dark one if I had the choice between 2 girls who both had a nice character and personality.

They both happen to have gandami to sanwali skin color and they both thought that it was disgusting that every desi wanted a gori larki… which ofcourse unfortunately included me as well, and although I never meant to say that I would choose a gori kuri even if she was a bitch and would leave the kaali out even if she was a really nice girl. Ofcourse not! I would go for a dark skin girl if shes a better girl than the gori miss, but then again, they would say or think, oh so we are second choice now! which really made me think… I mean I would never want to hurt anyone ever… but maybe I did. And that made me very uneasy, and I have been questioning myself all day, about whether its okay, or is it totally wrong to have a preference of a personal liking of skin color? Is desiring a fairer “nice” wife fair on the dark “nice” girls? I think its not :frowning:
but is it wrong to have a liking for a skin color?

Mods please DONT move it to shore sharaba or khail khilari, cos it belongs here. Serious replies please.

2

You have a preference for chitti chitti kuriyahs, I'm sure the darker shaded babes have their romeos on horseback too, you may not be him (evidently not) however I doubt they are pining for the lack of your affection.
I like taller, intelligent (colour is non-important) witty, funny guys, however I'm sure the shorter, dimmer, drool mundays have a juliet in waiting.
I am human thus have a prefrence, excuse me for not having the hots for every other chichora. You too should chill and not be so perplexed.

This is not being superficial.

People need to be comfortable with their own skin tone. You are not responsible for the whole of the sub continents complexes.

3

[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by hiccup: *
funny guys
[/QUOTE]

You spelled it wrong. Must be a typo.

4

^I,m sure u misspelled ur name too wen creating a nickname,, the first letter shudv been different. a typo maybe...
answer the bloody question,,, its a big dilemma....

5

Its ok to have a preference but it should be Your preference ..not your mother’s or society’s. You don’t make friends based on their appearance ..you make friends at a common intellectual level but when it comes to choosing a spouse you should be physically & sexually attracted to him/her…this is true especially for guys… Last thing you want to do is make a commitment with someone and Moon maring elsewhere after marriage.
As for girls, my experience is majority of ‘em (not all) are more mature in that sense….they are capable of looking beyond physical attributes as security and stability is more important to them for a married life…I haven’t been in women huddles but I have heard there is a lot of mera husband is more handsome than yours and other jealousy factors which are beyond men. :-)

6

I have a preference for intelligent witty and confident men with a sense of humor.

7

Interesting. As a girl with brown skin, I find this thread highly offensive and insulting.

Do you know how many guys I have met in the last few months who, before even meeting me, before even seeing my picture, will tell me via the internet or the phone, "I prefer fair girls over brown girls. Are you fair Mehnaz? I also like thin girls. What's your body type like?" To guys like this, my response is, go to Pakistan and you will find many girls there who will fulfill your shallow requirements.

I am so fed up of these Pakistani men who aren't looking at what they themselves have to offer in terms of looks and personality, but want a fair beauty for themselves.

It is no wonder that the more I meet eligible Pakistani bachelors, I am left finding any and all non-Pakistani men more appealing.

8

I have met a few guys who told me they would prefer a sanwla copmlexion over a gori chitti one,if it would come to decide between them....though they are less in number i have to admit....

9

People often marry someone they find physically attractive. This idea of what attractive is, is different for everyone. So in some ways, people are refusing others based on some aspect of their physical demeanor, because they are only going to find "certain ppl" attractive. Preference is always going to be there. Whether it be in physical or mental attributes.

It is also sunnah to find the partner you are going to marry, attractive.

I think what many people find offensive is the complete exlusion of one skin tone. Like the ads you see in papers asking for "fair" girls. As if all non-fair girls need not respond.

10

It's your own choice. I prefer GORE munde over darkies. But then a GORA munda with an intelligence of a shoe is certainly a no no. I would rather go for someone ugly who has a good SOH and is witty.

If a choice is given between 2 people who are similar in every aspect but one happens to be a bit darker, my vote goes to the Fair one.

11

i personally used to prefer gundumi khwatin before i got hitched to the fair un.

12

Well it definitely depends on you. If you like fair skin tone, fine, but it shouldn’t be your preference I mean not the skin tone at least. But then again it depends on you. Personally I think that a girl shouldn’t be rejected just because she has dark skin tone. That’s not fair at all. By the way if we talk about men then I personally think that tall, dark and handsome guys are much better than tall, Fair, and handsome guys.

13

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14

Kaka, thanks for being so frank and SERIOUS for a change in a thread. :)

I find nothing wrong with guys and girls having a preference in skin color re: the people they want to marry. Don't worry about being politically correct and saying what everyone may want to hear (ex. I don't care about the person's complexion at all; as long as the person is nice, that is all that counts...balony). However, also realize that it is one thing if you want to spend your life with a gori larki who is a total ditz as opposed to one who is darker but meets all your other requirements. No offense to anyone but at the end of the day, if you prefer a light-skinned girl Kaka, all the more power to you. That is merely your preference and we are all entitled to our individual preferences.

15

do u have any idea how shallow and insulting it is for girls to be rejected just cuz of her skin colour? they didnt ask to be born with that colour.

Gosh.. jahalat ki inteha' hai.

16

This debate doesn't only exist in our culture. It is the same with 'black' people. Lighter skinned black girls are considered more beautiful than darker ones!

Not only that but its constantly being drilled into our minds that black or dark is bad. All villians are described as being dark and associated with the darker colours while fairies and angels along with beautiful people are associated with light colours.
Have you ever seen a good witch dressed in black? This idea is in mostly all children's books, therefore weg grow up with this idea!

This issue will continue to exist because we have carried on the idea of fair being beautiful from previous generations. Until we don't stop this behaviour it will continue to take advantage of us.

What bothers me is that this is more of a problem with females. We are judged on our skin tones more than men are. Even the darkest guy ends up sitting to a very fair dulhan on his wedding. But then again what issue doesn't affect the women more in our culture?

17

Exactly Mizz Angel. I couldn’t agree with you more. :k:

I guess if you have actually ever experienced this form of discrimination, then you will be more sensitive to this issue.

18

Want to lighten up your skin complexion?

19

RT … :hehe:

20

Our culture:

If you are a boy (no matter what color, shape and size):

For the time you born you hear:

From your mum: I will bring chand see bahoo for my son. (even son looks like a monkey)

From sisters : same thing , mum make sure our bhabhi should be 1 in 100,000.

and then while a boy grows up , all he sees in news papers , TV, Movies, that fair skin girls are the heroins. except few very exceptional cases.

so its a complete brain wash by the time he reaches the age of marriage.

now if he is goign to be a little bit intelligent he will go for seerat rether than soorat.

but then its in our culture to always go for the face value.

"Kuri beshak munphat howay and na kam di na kaj di lekhin howay gori".