So…I have my nephew living with us while he goes to college. His dad arrived last weekend and they plan to leave this weekend after exams are done.
This is a regular week for us, maybe a bit busier - work, school, school activities and conference.
Last night, my husband tells me that his uncle (who has always been a pain-in-the-neck) will arrive with my neice today and will stay till the weeked.
Would you be mad?
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ps...I happen to be really mad. My husband is turning it into you dont want to cook and you dont like guests...
Thats not the thing at all. Its NUTS to have so many guests in my small house during a regular and busy week. And its so totally inconsiderate for "company" to TELL you they're coming instead of ASKING if its convenient if they come.
Id have said "sure come over on Friday.
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I have to deal with such guests and situations frequently as my husband’s family lives in a rural area and they have to come to Lahore for ‘check-up’ even if they have problems with passing s***..they dont even inform us at times and come straight to our place with atleast two or three ‘supporters’ alongwith them..
So yes, I will be mad because this has left me with no respect for any guests coming over from his family or even mine at times 
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Oh..i get to hear this from husband a lot too but i dont feel bad now because this comes from someone who never helps me out with anything including grocery,etc and is inconsiderate about me looking after everything WITH a baby.
I think my attitude and unwelcoming face all the time will probably pass the message to the guests one day :(
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Opps, my husband is the same. Last week he invited the neighbours for a cup of coffee/tea @9.30pm...... I wouldn't have minded BUT I was in my pyjamas and half asleep............ He made it worse by saying I didn't know they would say YES !!!!!!!!!!
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haha my dad did that and said to my mom when she got pissed " didn't know they would say YES !!!!!!!!!! " heheh this is my ghar ki kahani too..lol
ps...I happen to be really mad. My husband is turning it into you dont want to cook and you dont like guests...
Thats not the thing at all. Its NUTS to have so many guests in my small house during a regular and busy week. And its so totally inconsiderate for "company" to TELL you they're coming instead of ASKING if its convenient if they come.
Id have said "sure come over on Friday.
sounds like something totally normal in pakistan culture! lol!
yeah i understand it must be annoying! its not like you can boldly tell them not to come to your home! lol! as they are coming you might as well try to enjoy it. make sure husband order take-out for everyone! lol!
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yes i think its a normal thing in Pakistan specially from previous generation. i stayed in my dads home for a year and unknown relatives wud pop up knowing that bed and free food will be available. made me very upset. but my husband does not invite ppl like that. what can you say....but bear with it.
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Since you are unable to get out of this situation, don't take everything on your own shoulders. Spread out jobs for everyone in the house to do for the next week. You can cook/do dishes/hw with the boys, and the rest can be divided between hubby, nephew, and the boys. And when the neice comes, bring her in the kitchen, get her help in the little things, like getting the plates/utensils out.
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DE JA VU
i have heard this so many times, dad goes and invites guests and amma rightfully throws a tantrum but in the end she does a whole proper meal and the guest has a good time and leave.
MO3 as much as i do understand your pain i dont think you have a way out but what you can do is negotiate with your hubby, key why should you do all the work when you dint even invite them and put some duties on your hubby as well 
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Just order out. Husband has to foot the bill. I'm sure he won't mind.
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it's not only about preparing food etc......it's the whole concept of spending time with them when they are around.......you have to sit with them, make small talk, perhaps take them here and there........
don't get me wrong....guests are a blessing......our prophet was very clear about how he treated those that came to his door.......but it is also incumbent upon the guests themselves to know that they could possibly be imposing.
tough one Mamaof3.......this is Pakistani life.
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i would be mad at the hubby, since he okayed their plans before consulting you, not cool. i say put the hubby to work and he'll know exactly what you mean.
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Of course I'd be mad and threat my husband with me spending the weekend out.
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thank you!!! sheesh, my biggest problem is that my boys will be absolutely jumping OUT of their skin with excitement. We have to get up for school, we have to do homework. If this ahem-uncle coulda waited 2 days for his free food/lodging/partying, I'd not have had a problem. Disruption of routine IS a problem. 9 PEOPLE!!! In a TINY house. Try to get the boyz to do homework or to go to bed on time. Its a nightmare situation even if its vacation time. But its NOT. Hubby works. Boys hav school. Mom has school activities and meetings.
I'm STILL burning mad. Mad enough to give my "guest" a cafe-au-lait (oops the only chocolate I had was that ex-lax kind)....and oh, so sorry I took so long in the only bathroom but I had to shave my legs and all.
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hey MO3 ... i agree that its tough and everything and your husband should try to help you out a bit more ... but look at it this way there is no way that u can avoid this situation ... and make the best out of it and do watever that u can and i'm sure your husband will appreciate your effort and then you can tell him that listen hun i don't mind entertaining your family or any guest for that matter but next time just gimme a heads up and i'm sure he'll be more understanding that way and will let you know well in advance the nxt time
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say "ofcourse honey they can come over - but I wont be here "
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oh wow, my mum dad same. dad invites the relatives or his friend over whenever, and then tells mum at the most possible last minute, and then he says uski biwi to kebab aur samosay aur chiken tikke paka kay rakhti hai so tum bi kuch is tarha banana ok......mum hits the roof, alas, she makes the food withot much fuss..
now me, my hubby thankfully doesnt call anyone over before asking me atleast 48 hours in advance and then i say no, and he says ok jee....:]
Opps, my husband is the same. Last week he invited the neighbours for a cup of coffee/tea @9.30pm...... I wouldn't have minded BUT I was in my pyjamas and half asleep............ He made it worse by saying I didn't know they would say YES !!!!!!!!!!
GUESS WAT, my hubby didnt even ask the neighbour over, he just TRAIPSED ACROSSSSSSSS to our front door to ask for a spare egg ( ?) AND then he said his kettle wasnt working could he please borrow some HOT WATER...in the meantime he then had a coffee, i was all ermm `dolled up with nice lingerie (:) in the bedroom.......waiting an hour for the pain in the arse next door to **** off back....my hubby didnt make it easier for him, he kept asking him questions about his hobbies/life/wife/kids/ etccccccc
i went to slp anyway.,
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Can’t believe I’m saying this as I am not a menist, but it works the other way too. We have 6 people - one of whom is a disabled child and unruly and destructive - coming to stay with us for the holidays. Best part is - they still have to figure out when they’re going back so I don’t know how long they’ll be here. Which means both my parents are in the kitchen cooking. My sister is left to entertain the kids. Which she doesn’t want any noise because she jus got done with a tough semester. And it’s totally comical to see my dad’s pareshaani because he absolutely hates my mom’s brother. Today he says to me - out house isn’t built to handle 10 people…
Last time this family was here, one son kicked the closet door and destroyed it playing imaginary judo. That cost us 200 dollars to replace. The other son - the disabled one - pooped on mu carpet, and pulled off my mom’s wallpaper.
The other day, i found my mom just staring at that part of the wall with a total worried look on her face…I was like, he’s older now and maybe he has more control. She was like…I don’t think so…
I think my dad us ready to burst with annoyance over so many inlaws coming over. And they’re not even here yet.
The whole family is jealous of me because I’ll be off at work during the holidays and so I won’t see like 70 percent of the shenanigans .
Mamaof3. - just think how differently you’d be reacting if these were your blood relatives. You’d probably be more excited. Just think of this as a cause for celebration. You are sounding more and more like a Pakistani aunty :k: