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Comon guys!!! It's family. So once in a blue moon they come over. Some people don't have any family and they spend the holidays alone so be greatful. I guess I'm the only one who gets super excited when family is over.
Makes me wonder if my chaachi was *itching about me when I stayed over their house for sone work in their city...
So...I have my nephew living with us while he goes to college. His dad arrived last weekend and they plan to leave this weekend after exams are done.
This is a regular week for us, maybe a bit busier - work, school, school activities and conference.
Last night, my husband tells me that his uncle (who has always been a pain-in-the-neck) will arrive with my neice today and will stay till the weeked.
Would you be mad?
Why would I one be mad? Family is like arm-and-leg. If there is a pain in arm, you dont cut it ... you learn to live with it or get it fixed. you talk to doctor (in your case your husband).
We sorta have same situation in our house. I was too social in family while my wife was not (not even in her own family) but we found some common grounds. they are not coming for months....are they?
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Please don't equate husbandhood with doctorhood.
Please don't equate husbandhood with doctorhood.
well in her condition fortunately (or for some unfortunately), husband is the one to talk to.
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Husbands and Doctors
Two very different roles.
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Its ANNOYING and INCONSIDERATE of people to drop by like that without at least a week's warning for you to get caught up.
The problem is, everyone says "please dont worry about us, we wont get in your way" or "you dont have to do anything special, its family"...its actually the opposite.
While these people are here, you cannot be free, or dress too casually, your routine gets totally disrupted, your space is cramped, people get aggravated easily, meal planning, the COOKING is TOO MUCH, the cleaning up after every meal, keeping the bathrooms in order, etc etc etc. I mean, its NUTS if you're the only one doing it.
My kitchen is a TINY gallery kitchen. I dont even have enough counter space to make two dishes at the same time. I totally understand MO3's frustration. I cannot watch TV when I want, stay up late if I want, blah blah blah.
MO3, get a TON of frozen snacks and food. Shami kababs, qeema samosas, egg rolls, potato cutlets, etc are permanent fixtures in my freezer now.
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story of my life... but as PCG said, they are family.
If it were ur own family member, u would happily do it and be even excited by it. Not trying to say that ur in the wrong MO3, but i know how it feels.
Hence, before i get upset about anything these days, I think about how I would have reacted if it were someone from my side of the family.. and then i calm down.
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If you were travelling, wouldn't you be so greatful if you could stay with family as oppose to spending on a hotel, especially with people not having much money these days?
One day, they may turn around and do you the favor.
Pakistani culture is all about hospitality, and sure there is a such thing as being a bad guest. Which in Mamaof3's case is the issue. That nephew should help out, and anyone else staying should help out. Whenever I'm a guest, or we have guests over, there is always ample help.
And yeah a long period of time is more harsh, as oppose to like a day or two.
But still, you have people coming over and the joy of company. So why not enjoy that?
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^ in terms of the nephew, even though he’s staying for an extended period, unless he’s been subjected to house cleaning in his own home, i doubt he’s gonna pick up a vaccum cleaner at someone else’s house..
Mama, seriously, if u really wish he’d help out.. I would drop BIG hints or just tell/ask him to clean his room.. give him the vaccum and leave it at that. You will be doing him and his future wife a favour… trust me :k:
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BUT, prob not do that when his own parents are around... he may feel embarrassed and get upset.... wait till they have gone.