How do women react when there is an obvious difference in the manner in which ones sister is treated vs the wife herself.
I have seen enough about mother in laws to last me a life time, but not so much about Sister in laws.
The question that occurs to me is, would a wife have a problem with her husband reguarly sending his sister money from his earnings? Supporting her out of the value of blood and family in ways he does not support the Mrs?
Re: Sisters
In my honest opinion the wife should not expect that the husband should forget his sisters and brothers just because he has married her. He was born and raised with his siblings and spent a lifetime, so thats not happening.
A husband should obviously give more importance to his wife and support her significantly more than the sister.
A husband should never tell his wife about sending money to his sisters/brothers/parents. No matter how "good" a wife is, its natural that she will not like it. However, the husband should not overburden his family's finances to support his siblings.
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^why would a wife not like her husband sending money to his sisters/brothers?
There is no need to hide it from her as long as she is a sane/sensible person, she would not make it an issue. The point is Husband must learn to balance b/w his wife and siblings, both hold equal importance. You can not ignore your siblings because a new person(Wife) has entered your life and at the same time you cant ignore wife because you think your siblings are more important than her...maintaining balance is the key
A husband should obviously give more importance to his wife and support her significantly more than the sister.
A husband should never tell his wife about sending money to his sisters/brothers/parents. No matter how "good" a wife is, its natural that she will not like it. However, the husband should not overburden his family's finances to support his siblings.
Wife and sister, both have their own significance in a man's life. There is no competition between the two positions, so there shouldn't be a need to support your wife over your sister.
If its 'natural that she will not like it', it just proves one thing - she is a *****.
Re: Sisters
I treat my sisters in law as my own sisters (because they always defend me when my MIL says something out of place) and I have no problem with my husband helping them in any way.
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Do they need the money? Sure. Are they married to millionaire's and meanwhile your wife has been wearing the same chappal for ten years? No .
Depends on the situation. It's not a tradition in our families to give sisters an allowance when they don't need it.
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U have responsibilities towards ur family and u have responsibilities towards ur wife, well as Jaanwar said there should not be any competition between the 2, if ur wife`s got problems then she is being a "u know wat".
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A close relationship with brother's and sisters is what makes a good husband. In my experience, those men who are close to their sisters are very adept at being good husbands.
So, I would actually encourage a good relationship between a husband and his sister.
Wife and sister, both have their own significance in a man's life. There is no competition between the two positions, so there shouldn't be a need to support your wife over your sister.
If its 'natural that she will not like it', it just proves one thing - she is a *****.
I was talking in monetary terms. Obviously everyone has his/her own place/rights
Thats just what I observed in some cases. (not mine hehe :) )
Regularly? Only if she’s not married/has kids/is in a bad financial situation. and only if the family’s needs are being met as well.
talking as a ex-SIL, she was a total nutjob if i ever: touched her groceries. Sat near her. Heard my voice. was on the same floor as me. Did my laundry in her machine.
Dont think I would be the same to my nand.
:k:
I think it all boils down to personal situation…and there are way too many to name here.
U have responsibilities towards ur family and u have responsibilities towards ur wife, well as Jaanwar said there should not be any competition between the 2, if ur wife`s got problems then she is being a "u know wat".
It depends on the situation. If the husband is giving freely an allowance to his sister, but when wife asks for money, he gets all kanjoos, well then there is a legit problem.
Re: Sisters
I wouldnt mind him sending money to his sister as long as his household didnt suffer because of it.
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Sometimes men do it at the expense of their wife and kids. That's a problem.
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Besides, here is my question. Other than that he is from a poor family , what excuse does he. Have for having uneducated unqualified sisters who can't stand on their own too feet?
Educated middle class girls typically won't marry into those sorts of families anyway, so issue is moot.
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If sisters are married and well settled why would the brother need to send money? I understand gifts when you see them, birthdays anniversary etc. but money just for fun or so doesn't seem like a good idea.. and also, how many of us girls would be actually comfortable taking money etc. from our brothers? I dun have a brother but I can't even imagine doing that!
Well, if sister is in school, un married, not working.. I would actually ask my husband to support her but not if they are married and have husbands to take care of their needs!
Why is it always about money? :hinna:
Answer to your question… I wouldn’t mind. Actually my husband does that currently, not for support but as pocket money… he sends pocket money to his mom and sisters , while I don’t get any (since I work and earn myself)… but thats okay :)… all his money is at my disposal anyway :p.
Waisay bhi I get royal treatment for being such a great bahu and bhabi whenever I go to Pakistan, plus being the wife of the son who cares so much for him mom, and that keeps me happy… who cares about money when you get appreciation and respect 
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I think the whole in laws and money issue is far too circumstantial to generalise.
My eldest sister forces me to take her money all the time. Whenever we are out, she HAS to pay, she insists on paying for anything if we go shopping and then just hands me money whenever she thinks I may need some. I hate taking it off of her. I am an adult and I earn my own money (I just dont know how to save it).
She does this behind my brother in law's back. He doesn't know and I am not allowed to tell him either.
However, my brother in law supports all of his sisters (he has 4, all married). My sister has no issues with this at all, in fact she does most of the shopping for his sisters.
My sister's in laws are amazing, so lovely to my sister and my family. I too am an amazing sister in law to my brother in law :D So it's all fair game really.
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What do you mean he "supports" his married sisters? Are they not getting pocket money from their husbands?
Yeah I totally agree with gifts - that is a great idea. Gift-giving should always be encouraged.
But I didn't know certain families still provide pocket money to siblings even after marriage or economic independence.
I do not pay ANYTHING for my sister, unless there is some crazy awesome occasion or something. :-/
Didn't know I was expected to...
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Umm I don't have a sister but if it would def feel weird if my future brother in laws felt the need to regularly give "pocket" money to my wife. I'd rather sell my car and have my paychecks deposit in her account then let that happen.
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PCG - I am pretty sure you know that not everybody is as financially fortunate as everybody else in the world.
His money, he can do what he wishes with it. Just as my sister does with her money.
My sister is not expected to pay for things, I did not say that. She just does as that is her nature, she is like that with all of her siblings.