My dad has a sister, whose husband is now not working and can't do anything for her. I dont think she gets regular payments from my dad, and she doesn't want it either even if he offers it to her. She lives VERY simple, and her sons just recently got jobs. So they'll be able to help out with household expenses more now. We've told my dad and his brothers to send some money over, but she doesn't really take it. shrugs
Like I said, I wonder if this is a more cultural issue. I don't THINK that memons give pocket money to sisters unconditionally. But maybe in Punjabis, or Pathans, or Sindhis, etc it is different.
Umm I don't have a sister but if it would def feel weird if my future brother in laws felt the need to regularly give "pocket" money to my wife. I'd rather sell my car and have my paychecks deposit in her account then let that happen.
Why would that bother you?
I don't mean to put words in your mouth, but it sounds like you would make it into an issue of pride.....
Hm, its not such a foreign concept. I think any guy would be sorta offended if he was doing just fine providing for his wife and the wife's brother is having to give her pocket money. It's like saying "You don't give enough to your wife, so let me supplement".
Gifts are a different issue. In Pakistani culture, gift-giving is common so if you visit your sister's home and bring gifts for her kids and her, I can see that as socially acceptable.
How do women react when there is an obvious difference in the manner in which ones sister is treated vs the wife herself.
I have seen enough about mother in laws to last me a life time, but not so much about Sister in laws.
The question that occurs to me is, would a wife have a problem with her husband reguarly sending his sister money from his earnings? Supporting her out of the value of blood and family in ways he does not support the Mrs?
It's the haq of a sister and a responsibility of a brother to take care of his siblings/family in the ways possible for him. Wives who interfere too much in these dealings are snatching credit points from the husbands.
If the guy's wife and children suffer because he is unable to create a balance...let's say he sends out so much that his wife and kids have to sacrifice repeatedly then there is a problem because they have haq too.
At the end of the day the burden falls on the man to create the right balance and know when to shut his ears from his wife's or sister's bickering.
i dont see the reason of providing pocket money to the sisters if the sisters and well taken care by their husbands....yeah i understand in the time of need ( a Valid need) its ok but otherwise no....i would rather have him to save it for the our future as much as he/we can. ..
i dont see the reason of providing pocket money to the sisters if the sisters and well taken care by their husbands....yeah i understand in the time of need ( a Valid need) its ok but otherwise no....i would rather have him to save it for the our future as much as he/we can. ..
Exactly. I don't see anywhere in Islam where it says that a brother has the responsibility to provide for his married sister when she is doing fine on her own with her own family.
He could put that money towards the future for his kids. Who really decides where to draw that line? Is it fair to give 20 / month to your sister and 20 /mo to each kid for their future? When the sister is receiving 100 / mo from her husband? Couldn't the kid use the extra 20 / month later on in his/her life?
I really detest when kids are not taken care of at the expense of sisters and brothers. My grandfather gave nearly EVERYTHING he made to his sisters and brothers, who would make gold jewelry for fun. Meanwhile, my dad had 2 pairs of clothes for school that he had to run for the year, one pair of shoes, and had to work on his own for his own bus money.
Didn't make any sense. My dad after having gone through that bears so much resentment against his father. He gives his kids (us) and his wife so much, but lets his brothers fend for themselves. Those brothers were all friggin jokers in school because they figured their smart older brother would take care of them. Now they're all working small retail businesses on their own, keeping their families fed.
Awesome thing is they all hate my mom, as if she took a meal out of their mouth or something. His bros/sis's are all able-bodied people. ALL OF THEM.
Besides, here is my question. Other than that he is from a poor family , what excuse does he. Have for having uneducated unqualified sisters who can't stand on their own too feet?
Educated middle class girls typically won't marry into those sorts of families anyway, so issue is moot.
You don't have to be uneducated, poor, or not on your own feet to get money from your bro. My dad often sends money to his sister who is m'A! blessed and neither my mom nor we have a problem. Why do we think that a husband should only send money if the family is in dire need of it.
