Let me start by saying I dont have a sister, so I may be in the dark here. I have a friend who got married June 18. She has a younger sister that I never got along with, but for my friends wedding we joined forces to create a wonderful mehdni for my friend. It was a but turbulent since the girl and her other friends were like 18-19 and Im 24 but we muddled through it and even got along towards the end. The girl was actually a wonderfull person.
Allot easier to be friends with then her sister, who is very difficult to deal with in many ways… i cant really explain… like for ex. the other day I said oh i was thinking of you today .. and she said after 22 yrs of a friendship youthink of me only once.. she was serious not joking. She can never take a compliment gracefully.
Well anyway.. I put together and album of the wedding … in it was a picture of myself and the lil sister carrying the mehndi trays. I thought it was a wonderful pic.. finally felt like I had two sisters too.. felt like I belonged and wanted to share teh feeling with them too. So I made copies gave one to each other the sisters as a way of bonding all in happy memories.
The reaction I got was unbelievable. My friend lashed out on me.
How her relashionship with her sister was hers and mine and hers was hers too and she didnt want to share them. And how I was being too nice to her sister and all kinds of stuff. Basically she was totally green over her sister and I getting along, and somehow made everything my fault for trying to kiss up to a 18 yr old.
Abb mujay sumjao.. WTF!!! I want to ask her for the pic back and rip it in front of her face.
Her reaction makes no sense what so ever... it has to be a woman thing.. may be some guppan can explain this behavior…
BUT do not tear up the pic just yet.. here is how you can get back to her... wait for her baby shower and plan a surprise baby shower with her sister …. And don’t forget to follow it up by sending her another picture of you and her sister at the baby shower …
Your friend just got married and is probably going through an emotional roller coaster at this phase of life. She feels as if she is losing friends by getting married. She has new and added responsibilities. These are very normal feelings among friends when one of them decides to tie the knot.
Just don't do anything irrational (ripping of the pic in her face) and just give her the benefit of the doubt and most importantly some time. You two will probably laugh over it in a few weeks.
^^ I like that.. I think I need to start thinkinglike a man!
I am not planning anything for her again but I am definately taking that picture. as a matter of fact this Sat. at my graduation party.
Why don't you just ask her why she's acting like this? Explain to her what you are thinking and how you just wanted to organize a nice mendhi party for her cause she means a lot to you. Communicate with her and if she still treats you like crap .... well then just tell her you don't appreciate her behaviour.
She's a newly wed. Who knows, maybe she's having marital problems or is having a hard time adjusting to her new role as 'wife'. Maybe she just lashed out at you cause you were there and 'convenient'. Maybe she thinks she can behave like this with you cause you are her 'friend' and will forgive her. Who knows!
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*Originally posted by funguy: *
Dear Muniya, calm down and have a cold drink.
Your friend just got married and is probably going through an emotional roller coaster at this phase of life. She feels as if she is losing friends by getting married. She has new and added responsibilities. These are very normal feelings among friends when one of them decides to tie the knot.
Just don't do anything irrational (ripping of the pic in her face) and just give her the benefit of the doubt and most importantly some time. You two will probably laugh over it in a few weeks.
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nahee fungu.. I've given her enough excuses. if you search GS every friend problem I've had is with this chick.. she suffers from too many problems and uses her depression as an excuse to hurt everyone..
I even took her to the therapist becuase her mom didnt know and she needed a ride .. i even picked up her depression medicine because she was embarassed.. yaar baas bohat ho gaya.
we were in k-g together and ever since then I've been putting up with her stupidity.. .everyonnnnnnnnnnne agrees that she is stupid..Salman hates her and he hates very few things/people.
baas now I will get her back and I will leave her alone.. bohat ho gaya.
Mainai yeh soch kar mehdni par ithna kaam kiya tha key she had no other friends..its kinda embarassing to have your sisters friends dancing at your wedding.. nahee!!
I tried that.. things were fine when her motherinlaw was here.. the drama came from her … now that she left to Pakistan.. she needs drama again.. so lets turn to Maria..
you know when you normally fight with a friend you cant wait to make up with them.. right.. you feel all bad..
this time my hearts not in it.. I wanna just get rid of her..
Muniya, will you really feel any better by getting back at her or carrying out any kind of revenge like tearing up the photo in her face? I'm sure you won't.
Personally, I would just tell her straight up how you feel and tell her, calmly, that she's forcing you to re-evaluate your friendship with her because of the way she always makes you feel. Tell her about the various incidences that have happened in the past and how you feel you are being taken advantage of. Maybe that will actually make her step back and look at her behaviour. If she tries to manipulate you some more, just cut your losses and move on.
sooo funny Mehnaz … I had that same conversation with her last night.
she doesnt understand.. and the worst part was her husband was in the car too.. so he was listening.. then later she tells me oh he was in the car
ur right I wont feel better revenging and its a bad thing to do.. lekin dil jaltha hai… uffffffff!!!
Just let it go then. Distance yourself from her. She'll get the message. I think if you just stop talking to her for a while, that will affect her moreso than actually doing something to her. MAYBE then she'll get it. Otherwise, life is complicated enough. Friendships should bring you joy, comfort and some happiness. Not stress and drama.
After reading about your friend and her history with depressions..all i can say that she tends to have a jealousy factor with her..she can't get over the fact that you were her friend and her sister was her sister..now she thinks that you are more closer to her sister than herself..and she fears that she's losing you as well as her sister..Some people can't see certain people getting along with certain people..they flip and start doing strange things..sometimes its shouting and in some cases it can be a lot more.
Just don't do anything....over the time.. when she'll see that you and her sister aren't close...she'll become calm..just give her sometime.
Don't rip up the picture Muniya. It's a keepsake. You had a good time at the mendhi didn't you? It's a memory. Afterall, she's one of your oldest friends, despite how she's acting. Maybe you'll be able to look back at it and remember the good times, assuming there were some.
whats pissing me off is that she didnt care for my feelings so why should I care for her?And this isnt the first time.. she continuously does this to me.
to be honest.. i think the bad things out wiegh the good about her.. or maybe its just my clouding my brain.
as a matter of fact this Sat. at my graduation party.
no ripping picture?