Here in Pakistan I have noticed quite a few guys who are of right age and older , making enough money , but still single . Knowing them from their past , it doesn’t look like they sleep around either . Also from nice families .
This makes me wonder if they have chosen staying single with their own free will . If so , it means it is an acceptable norm in our Pakistani society , in which there is always a huge pressure on women to get married .
Do you also come across such examples ? where a guy is lets say above 40 but still single , and everyone is cool with it .
Its a matter of perspective really. Personally I think it is okay up to a certain age. When your friends, at least some of them, are single and you can hangout with them. At one point, all your friends end up getting married, and unless you are working on genetic mutation in your basement, I think everybody needs to socialize to stay sane. So yeah, one should get married when it feels right - in terms of timing and the lady.
Our society certainly have different set of rules for women and different for men.
However , through my work I have knows a couple of men who got married after their 40's. One of them stayed single till he got all of his sisters married (as his father was dead so he took the responsibility of his sisters) so I think it was very much after 40 that he got married , he was working as Director Human Resource at the time of his marriage. Another gentleman I know spent his life studying & making career , he hailed from village , came to Karachi did his studies here then went to USA on scholarship and did studies from there too and got married very late i.e. I believe late 40's , now his children are near my age and he is in his 70's.
I think our society very well understand & accept any reason that comes from a man for not marrying at early age but does not accept & understand the same from women. Women are expected to get married at an early age , leave their education & career for the sake of marriage and do haandi chula for the rest of their lives. I have a friend who is in her mid 30's now and has done so much for her younger siblings since her father is not alive and she even got her sister married and people make tanay on her family that she is earning that is why you are not getting her married "larki ki kamai moo ko laag gai hai !" . I know someone who rejected a girl for marriage just because she was earning & taking care of her sick parents & wanted to continue even after marriage, he said that it is not right for a wife to support her family financially after marriage and I tell u this guy completely went crazy after that girl before she mentioned this thing to him. Most of the people in our society are very very conservative and they just think that woman's place is at her husband house otherwise they label her as "ghar pay bheti hai" even though she not ghar pay bhetti , she is working & taking care of her self very well.
But now I feel the way our country is going. People are finding it hard to make both ends meet. Life is too difficult & too busy. People really don't have time for all this anymore. I know there are still large number of people who keep eyes on others and do tanay bazi but as far as I have it's the SURVIVAL OF THE FITTEST & everybody is busy with his/her own survival.
Well I am not really thinking in terms of if its right or wrong . One person's right can be other person's wrong , and on the top of it we can also give some terka of religion . But at some level its good to see people exercising their right of making their own choices and as a society we accepting it . Though level of acceptance is way different , but still somewhat visible .
Two guys that I know of don't really have any obvious reason to stay single , but they are . Good for them , I guess .
In the US, there are less Pakistanis so less options... can't afford to be too picky. But perhaps there are too many girls in Pakistan to choose from... so a guy can be really picky if he wants to. If a guy over there waits until his 40s, he'll still have plenty of girls to choose from.
Those who don't marry at all are not blessed people of god. You never know what kind of problems they have that saves them from marriage.
And its a misconception that those who don't marry lead a clean lifestyle. This is at-least true for some of them.
There is big "services" industry in Pakistan that thrives on unmarried men with money.
hmmmm, now if he was a woman, wow, she wouldve been hung out to dry had she not been married by the age of 19....
i remember my cousin, he was forced into marying anyone because he was 30 and his dad saw him having a laugh with his mates and assumed he must be gay.
day in day out, why dont u get married yoyur 30...
I dont want to...
r u gay....
he got married the same year. thankfully hes happy.otherwise...:/
^ whats wrong with that? Those lucky 19 year old girls get established well off husbands, a financially comfortable life and a secure future. Isn't that what you all are normally running after?
Its a matter of perspective and preference, aint it. An established person would go for what he wants and likes, whatever seems suitable to him. His life, his rules. Unless you are unable to get what you want. I wouldn't make a direct comment but you know what I am talking about.
^ Honestly I have never seen this stuff happening in educated men . Well they might go for someone in their mid 20z but not 19 . I think it will be hard to handle them .
The point is, a well established man will go with his preference, however he wants to spend his life, whoever he wants to spend it with. And yeah, you are right. The 19 year olds assumption is a bit too much on the emotional side.
