Ok, so i have four sisters whose ages range between late twenties and mid-thirties. My mum is going crazy trying to find suitable rishtay for them but the problem is 1) there aren’t many decent rishtay around (my sisters are all degree educated and established in careers) 2) the rishtay that my mum does find my sisters manage to reject them without giving due consideration or for what i consider silly reasons.
my question is how can i get them to be more open minded and less picky? their reasons for rejecting these rishtay are things like height mismatch, lives too far away, pakistani men are losers, if their mums are looking for their rishta they obviously can’t find someone themselves and so must have something wrong with them. blah blah blah.
i can kind of understand some of their negativity as there are so many horrer stories out there regarding the rishta process and how people lie and stuff before the wedding but at this rate they will all remain single!
yea I hear you! My elder sister rejected countless rishtaay before she finally decided to say yes to someone. Nowadays you have to be careful. I've heard of so many nice, religious girls getting divorced because the guys were abusive or taking some pills. And at the time no one confessed anything about how the guys really were. It's very important to do a thorough investigation of a guy before saying yes. The guy my sis is getting married to, he was interviewed for 1-2 months by my parents, and then by other aunties and uncles before being introduced to my sister. Masha'Allah he is great. I've also rejected a few rishtaay, some were even great, but only because I was involved with someone else. As far as your sisters goes, suggest people you trust to find some nice decent guys for them, but obviously take into consideration what they want in a guy and the qualities they don't want, and based on that suggest rishtaay for them. Tell your sisters appearance isn't everything, you have to look at the personality and how strong his imaan is. This is the stuff that matters. Tell them it won't hurt to talk to guys being suggested, they can always say no later if they don't want to go through with it. As they get older, it'll just be harder for them to even get rishtaay, it's better they start taking marriage into consideration, you can't be alone your whole life, at some point or another you will want to have a supportive husband, and kids to look after you when you are old.
I'm not saying they should get married to any ol' lucha lafangha, but the simple truth is that whatever rigid ideology they have of what they want in a man, they need to let go of it.
Otherwise they'll be left on the shelf.
Or they can wait for embryonic stem cell research to progress to the stage where you can create your own man from scratch.
all these abusive marriages we see on GS were between those who matched "materially" or superficially.
maybe once women and men can let go of these ridciulous notions and generalizations, maybe then they can find someone who will take them and their nakhray?
your sisters won't get married until they are willing to do so :) No matter if you bring them the moon and the stars.
But frankly speaking, these days being a single woman is not such a bad thing. Many of my friends are single and loving their career and life. I know it might be tough for your mom but let them live their lives as they please.
your sisters won't get married until they are willing to do so :) No matter if you bring them the moon and the stars.
But frankly speaking, these days being a single woman is not such a bad thing.** Many of my friends are single and loving their career and life**. I know it might be tough for your mom but let them live their lives as they please.
unfortunately there is no going back later on when one have regrets....
If someone is highly educated , professional with good job , and nice with family then why they have to get married no matter what ? Being a single , independent women should not be a taboo anymore .
If someone is highly educated , professional with good job , and nice with family then why they have to get married no matter what ? Being a single , independent women should not be a taboo anymore .
I do not disagree with that, however on the same token i do disagree as well, it is not a TABOO but a necessity becaused sooner or later that urge or desire does arise and that leads to things..... and thus marriage is not only for financial stability only !!
Islamically, staying single through choice isn't an option. Marriage is obligatory. Apart from that. even though my marriage is far from a bed of roses I still believe in the instituition of marriage plus having kids brings you so much joy. I don't want my sisters to miss out on all this.
we can never have IT all!