do u see any difference in behavioural patterns and personality traits of kids growing up with single parents?both negative and positive
do u see any difference in behavioural patterns and personality traits of kids growing up with single parents?both negative and positive
yes...single parent kids are less confident, mostly have confused personalities, have indecisive nature..
they are more hungry for love so tend to trust anyone quickly and are more dependent on others for their decisions...
this is my observation about others and me too since me myself was grown up with single parent...
positive....i dun think there is something positive about the nature u tend to have if u r brought up that way...
Re: single parents
Ideally it would be nice for a child to have both parents who are sound-minded and nurturing individuals. But that isn't always the case.
As a teacher, I've seen a mix in my students. I've seen students who are stable and strong and being raised by a single parent who is strong and is a good provider and role model. And I've seen kids who are messed up (self-esteem issues, etc) because BOTH of their married parents are messed up.
Also, in a marriage......where one parent is dysfunctional.....and the other parent is normal but too weak or passive to do anything. Such a union can take its toll on the children.....they may grow up emulating their parents' negative examples. In cases like these, one parent can be better than a dysfunctional team.
yes...single parent kids is less confident, mostly have confused personalities, have indecisive nature..
they are more hungry for love so tend to trust anyone quickly and are more dependent on others for their decisions...
this is my observation about others and me too since me myself was grown up with single parent...
positive....i dun think there is something positive about the nature u tend to have if u r brought up that way...
Umm....there are kids who are like that who were raised with both parents.....
Let's not generalize....
Re: single parents
I can understand the single parent may feel greater pressure to compensate for the absent parent. For example, a single mother may worry that her son doesn't have a male role model....and may feel pressure to compensate for that absence.
I can see how some children may grow up with trust issues or have little faith in marriage....because their own parents' marriage failed.
I have heard/read that some girls without a father.....may seek out the wrong type of guys ....because somehow they're trying to compensate for that absence. Or that the lack of a father figure may mean that there's a lack of male guidance.....that can help her determine which guys are harmful.
Then again, as mentioned before.......kids who have two parents living with them can be disturbed if the parents aren't raising them right.
personally, only seen catastrophic disasters in such situations. and even if the child of a single parent is normal, in our society I doubt the child would be allowed to lead a normal life. the stigma stays with them.
yes...single parent kids is less confident, mostly have confused personalities, have indecisive nature..
they are more hungry for love so tend to trust anyone quickly and are more dependent on others for their decisions...
this is my observation about others and me too since me myself was grown up with single parent...
positive....i dun think there is something positive about the nature u tend to have if u r brought up that way...
yes they do have complicated personalities n indecisive nature..they have rebellious nature incase of single mothers..they r always on a lookout for father figures unconsciously..i dont know they r just different from the rest of the lot
Ideally it would be nice for a child to have both parents who are sound-minded and nurturing individuals. But that isn't always the case.
As a teacher, I've seen a mix in my students. I've seen students who are stable and strong and being raised by a single parent who is strong and is a good provider and role model. And I've seen kids who are messed up (self-esteem issues, etc) because BOTH of their married parents are messed up.
Also, in a marriage......where one parent is dysfunctional.....and the other parent is normal but too weak or passive to do anything. Such a union can take its toll on the children.....they may grow up emulating their parents' negative examples. In cases like these, one parent can be better than a dysfunctional team.
redvelvet do u see antisocial tendencies in them?
redvelvet do u see antisocial tendencies in them?
Glam doll, I recently had to complain about a student who is displaying antisocial behaviors (bullying, being verbally AND physically aggressive towards peers and teachers...underhanded pranks).....and his parents are married. His younger siblings are flunking elementary school because they can barely read or comprehend what they're learning.........and the parents don't give a damn. Rather than try to fix their child......they blame the teachers for having an agenda. Rather than have some empathy for the kids that are victims to their child's aggressive behavior.......they try to find ways to get back at the kids (real mature, I know).
Antisocial? Not always. I know of a family that was raised by a single parent. Two of the siblings have a more calm nature. The other two siblings are aggressive, manipulative, and don't hesitate to display such behavior even in public settings....and struggle with showing remorse (apologizing) for their actions. Some of it can be attributed to the absence of one parent.......because naturally it brought about a ton of stress, heartache, and adjustment into their lives. And some of it can be attributed toward the remaining single parent.......who was not a firm or consistent or active enough parent and disciplinarian. It's interesting to see how different the siblings are in personality.
personally, only seen catastrophic disasters in such situations. and even if the child of a single parent is normal, in our society I doubt the child would be allowed to lead a normal life. the stigma stays with them.
The one thing that irritates me about desi culture (what I've noticed)....is how in the event that a father dies...they will quickly label the children is "yateem"......when the word refers to "orphan" in the literal sense (as having NO parents at all).
I find this offensive because as hard as it may be for a single mother to support her children....she'll do what needs to be done for her family. They're not completely bay-sahara....and to label the kids as yateem is just messed up. Even if the both parents are alive but not together......desi society can make it challenging....because of the negative assumptions about children who were raised by a single parent.
Re: single parents
i also find the term"yateem" very offensive ..our society acts really silly about most issues n make it even harder for the kids instead of helping them cope even if they come from a well off family
Re: single parents
I believe it's all in the upbringing !
Children whose parents are married also end up becoming rebellious , aggressive etc (as RV mentioned) . Because in many homes parents don't hesitate in fighting in front of kids and kids can mostly sense if something is going on wrong between parents (even if they haven't fought infront of them) . I believe rather I want to believe it's the peace , stability and love that children get from parents or a parent molds their behavior and character . I have seen a couple of individuals raised by single parent doing very well in their lives and they have raised successful children of their own. Two of them are my parent's cousins thats why I know how much of a balanced individual they are. If a child get the feeling of security , love , peace and respect from his / her parent he / she will most probably grow up to become a balanced and mentally healthy individual.
Re: single parents
Totally depends on the family in my opinion. Family support is also a great factor - siblings, aunts, uncles, grandparents, cousins, family friends etc can all play some part in giving a child more stability.
I know many people who have grown up in single parent homes.
I know 3 sisters - their mum sadly passed away when they were young. Masha'Allah their father has done an amazing job in bringing them up. They are all god fearing girls who treat their dad like a king.
I also know of the opposite - where one parent hasn't been there and the kids have gone awol. I knew 2 girls at high school who were from single parent families (father being the absent one - due to domestic violence in both cases). One of the girls ended up getting caught with her boyfriend and was married off at the age of 19 - she now has 2 children with him. The other girl has dated goodness knows how many men and has been known to sleep around. She had a tattoo done of her last boyfriends name on her chest and had no problem with showing it off to me when I saw her in town. She is almost 24 now and nobody will marry her. In both these cases, the mums were way too relaxed in the way their daughters were brought up. They were given too much freedom in my opinion. They both used to skip school and go to town to meet boys and both used to smoke (and still do occasionally). Neither had a supportive extended family either. It was really sad to see them while we were growing up to be honest - it was almost as if they were playing up to test how much they could get away with. Both were really intelligent girls too - they just needed someone in their lives when they were young and impressionable to push them in the right direction.
The one thing that irritates me about desi culture (what I've noticed)....is how in the event that a father dies...they will quickly label the children is "yateem"......when the word refers to "orphan" in the literal sense (as having NO parents at all).
I find this offensive because as hard as it may be for a single mother to support her children....she'll do what needs to be done for her family. They're not completely bay-sahara....and to label the kids as yateem is just messed up. Even if the both parents are alive but not together......desi society can make it challenging....because of the negative assumptions about children who were raised by a single parent.
what we need is a new Phoolan Devi to right the wrongs/ills of our culture/society. I nominate you. imagine walking around with a maula bakhsh in your hands and just beating the hell out of anyone you see doing something stupid/callous.
oye, lafangay who did you call a yateem. come here. and hardcore phaintee ensues...
btw, you said you're also connected to Sialkot somehow. I must say I find it difficult to believe that someone from Sialkot could be as sensible as you. you sure you from there? well Sialkoti or not, one thing's for sure, you didn't drink any water from there.
I believe it's all in the upbringing !
If a child get the feeling of security , love , peace and respect from his / her parent he / she will most probably grow up to become a balanced and mentally healthy individual.
so true
LOL. Thanks for the nomination, I’m flattered. 
Although I wouldn’t want the job. Nor do I think that beating the hell out of someone would resolve issues. Extreme measures can sometimes make things worse. You, yourself, mentioned the stigma of being raised by a single parent in “our” society and I only added an observation pertaining to our society. As far as “our” culture is concerned, it’s like any other culture and has its strengths and weaknesses. Only praising the culture and not acknowledging problem areas leaves little room improvement (even on an individual level).
And as far as Sialkot is concerned, I’ve occasionally consumed the water there. Don’t know if it impairs mental faculties… but there are sensible and stupid people everywhere and I think we all can be stupid at times.
Re: single parents
single parents kids can some times be insecure!
do you ever tire of being so logical? surely it must be hard work, no? if it wasn’t, then everyone would be logical and sensible.
yes, on vacations I drank the fabled water. and the side effects haunt me to this day. people waste their time with red bull etc. you gotta go to Sialkot and drink some water. will make you do wild things. no other city in Pakistan or the world for that matter has as many online love affairs as Sialkot on a per capita basis. why do you think it is? it’s because of all the taveez, the dum darood, the tabarruk in the water Mashallah. someone should bottle it and sell it to the rest of the world.
*yes...single parent kids are less confident, mostly have confused personalities, have indecisive nature.. *
they are more hungry for love so tend to trust anyone quickly and are more dependent on others for their decisions...
this is my observation about others and me too since me myself was grown up with single parent...
positive....i dun think there is something positive about the nature u tend to have if u r brought up that way...
the bolded part is genralization, i know quite a few children raised by single parents they are pretty confident people and don't have any issues with decision making or personality. These can be traits of dysfunctional families, they can be single parents families or families with both parents.
Re: single parents
i have a friend and she's the daughter of a single mother, she's 18 and she's supported her mother since she was 10, always helping... such a strong, confident girl MA, she's taken care of her younger sister like a mother would, and her personality is amazing, love her outlook on life, nothing can bring that girl down...
and then i've seen some single parent kids who are into bad stuff, they go against their parents...so it really depends on the way the parent is at home, or how they raise their kid/s
even kids in a "happy" marriage vary, so again...dont generalize... it all depends on how the parents raise their kids.