I’m gonna give the OP my benefit of doubt and who knows..maybe someone who is reading this might actually be going through this…so my two cents…
Get a good lawyer and LEAVE. Your life is not over if you are divorced. I know in our society it is looked down upon, but all the reasons you listed are quite legit for grounds for divorce. I would be more concerned about my health & life instead of what people said about me…they are not the ones suffering.
Be a strong woman, and Inshallah a better life partner is out there for you.
Since a few months he started to hit me....LEAVE HIM I'M SOO TIRED OF EVERYTHING!!! What should I do now.....
I'm soo unhappy...what should I do......btw I applied job last week....the next the invited me.....1 day later they called me that they want me for this job....they will tell me when I can start...**TAKE THE JOB AND CARE FOR YOURSELF
what if he left me....who will marry me..YOU WILL FIND SOMEONE
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I don't have childeren...A BLESSING AT THIS POINT. YOU CAN LEAVE AND START OVER AGAIN.....
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he has hit you and strangled you. at this point thinking of who will marry you should NOT be the reason you are not leaving him! seriously??? I would rather be unmarried for a lifetime than be with a jerk like him. hes mentally ill, divorce him before you go mentally ill, or before he divorces you to try to make you look at fault or whatever. take stand for yourself and give yourself the self respect you deserve. you seem very capable of managing yourself independently. so, do it!
Your husband hides the moola in the aata box? Have you contacted Star Plus yet?
So your husband doesn't understand you? Your husband doesn't love you? Your husband doesn't care about you? HONESTLY........you're not going to like hearing this........but it's your PARENTS that don't seem to respect you or care about you (more than your husband). How? Because if your parents really cared about you....they wouldn't pressured you to marry a guy that you have nothing in common with. And your parents are the **ROOT **of the problem.....and also YOU....because you didn't have to marry him. As beetchy as this sounds, I hope that your parents (especially Mummy Jee) are feeling bad about their decisions and what you're going through.
^But what's done is done. Now you can either get out of this marriage.....seeing that he beats you up and has issues with honesty, etc. Since you don't have children, the divorce would be less complicated...but knowing the stigma of divorce on women in our culture....you'll have to deal with the challenges that comes with that.
it is better to deal with the challenges then live with a person who strangles her,
it is better to deal with the challenges then live with a person who strangles her,
I'm not saying that she should stay with a physically abusive spouse rather than deal with the challenges that come with divorce (unfortunately) being a stigma in our culture. All I'm saying is that it's something that she'll have to deal with. In no way, is it a suggestion that she continue tolerating abuse. Regardless of what decision one makes....it's good to be aware of the challenges that you'll face as a result. It just makes you more aware...doesn't necessarily mean that you shouldn't undertake that decision.
Im sorry but the only troll here is you. Some people go through incredibly horrible situations and use the forum to vent. If you don't like it, don't read it.
I was going to have a right go at her parents, but they seem to be regretting their decision too. And yes on second thought most of this does sound filmy and fabricated. A sane woman would've left this guy a long time ago.
Most women who are abused are slowly conditioned to think that they deserve it and/or made so weak that they cannot leave.
Originally Posted by NomiCA
troll.
Im sorry but the only troll here is you. Some people go through incredibly horrible situations and use the forum to vent. If you don't like it, don't read it.
Seriously! I agree with Sara516. In a post like this, regardless of your opinion about it being fabricated or not, dont say anything if you have nothing nice to say. You could seriously do damage to the OP when she reads something like that.
Originally Posted by rizla86
I was going to have a right go at her parents, but they seem to be regretting their decision too. And yes on second thought most of this does sound filmy and fabricated. A sane woman would've left this guy a long time ago.
Most women who are abused are slowly conditioned to think that they deserve it and/or made so weak that they cannot leave.
Yes, very true. I am by no means an expert at this, but I have dealt with victims (esp of domestic violence and abuse) in a number of settings due to my edu background, and what Sara516 said is very true. A lot of these stories sound fabricated only bc they are continuing to get worse and havent been stopped at an earlier point. So, the extent of the situation is in itself an indicator of its seriousness, in essence making it sound 'fabricated'. And the extent only continues bc its all a cycle. Abuse doesnt just start and then diminish, it thrives and breeds on a victim not taking action against it. He would never have done it if he knew she was going to take immediate action against it. And i say immediate action bc most women, like the OP, tell themselves, oh it was just a slap, this was his first time doing it, maybe he didnt mean it, and without realizing it end up sticking around, in turn, taking the abuse. And while they stick around, guess what? It happens again, for a second time, then a third time, and by now since no action has been taken, the woman gets conditioned into feeling as if she deserves it, just like Sara516 has mentioned above. It becomes the combination of abuse and your failed efforts to stop it, or rather, the failed efforts at not accepting it. She cant change him, only he can change himself or make the decision to stop being abusive. She can however only decide to not accept it anymore.
I honestly can not believe the insensitivity of some of the people that have replied. I am not even an active poster in life1 but I have seen OP post here and she has not said/done anything to make her sound anything even close to a troll. I agree with Sara and Razz!
At a point in life when I thought I would die I did not matter to me if I die as someone's wife or not. What was the use of taking in my grave the status of being married , I mean what difference would it make if I died married or divorced ? I knew for sure that the day I will die he will start looking for another wife and he would make every possible attempt to save money on my grave and kafan too and would most probably put it on my parents . Seriously my life was wayyy to important than his crap.
Remember that no body goes in with you in your grave. Life is very precious don't waste it on someone who does not even care if you live or die and treat you so bad.
Im sorry but the only troll here is you. Some people go through incredibly horrible situations and use the forum to vent. If you don't like it, don't read it.
Most women who are abused are slowly conditioned to think that they deserve it and/or made so weak that they cannot leave.
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I agree with you Sara. I think i've taken the first by telling my parents about. Step 2 that I wrote my problem here. I read some good advices but also some rude things. Anyways thank you all for your good advice. I'm dealing with step 3...and that's realizing that how my life will be without him. I have good news.... I'm pregnant.. I absolutely don't feel a special bound or anything with my husband.... It's just that I'm very happy with my pregnancy. I sbould be selfish... Always thinking about others will not take my problems away.. I don't need any man in my life... What do I want?? That's what counts now...
Thank you all!!
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I agree with you Sara. I think i've taken the first by telling my parents about. Step 2 that I wrote my problem here. I read some good advices but also some rude things. Anyways thank you all for your good advice. I'm dealing with step 3...and that's realizing that how my life will be without him. I have good news.... I'm pregnant.. I absolutely don't feel a special bound or anything with my husband.... It's just that I'm very happy with my pregnancy. I sbould be selfish... Always thinking about others will not take my problems away.. I don't need any man in my life... What do I want?? That's what counts now...
Thank you all!!
congratulations on the pregnancy, I really hope you make the right choice with regards to this marriage. It's not just about you anymore, you need to protect your innocent child.
Please leave him. I have first hand experience. My mother was physically abused by my father for 10 years. I have deep emotional scars because of it. This is not good for you or your potential children if you bring any into this world. Don't even think "who will marry me." This should not even be your concern right now. You need to get out of this situation FAST. Have some patience. Allah knows what is best and will take care of you in the end. I wish you all the best and sincerely hope you leave him.
It's very difficult to resist the urge to admonish your decision to agree to an arranged marriage before establishing "good communication". Let this be a lesson for the others. The best advice I can give you is to be a little greedy, think about yourself first, put your interest before his, and don't be afraid to pursue your own happiness independently.
