Re: Sincere advice please
Seriously! I agree with Sara516. In a post like this, regardless of your opinion about it being fabricated or not, dont say anything if you have nothing nice to say. You could seriously do damage to the OP when she reads something like that.
Yes, very true. I am by no means an expert at this, but I have dealt with victims (esp of domestic violence and abuse) in a number of settings due to my edu background, and what Sara516 said is very true. A lot of these stories sound fabricated only bc they are continuing to get worse and havent been stopped at an earlier point. So, the extent of the situation is in itself an indicator of its seriousness, in essence making it sound ‘fabricated’. And the extent only continues bc its all a cycle. Abuse doesnt just start and then diminish, it thrives and breeds on a victim not taking action against it. He would never have done it if he knew she was going to take immediate action against it. And i say immediate action bc most women, like the OP, tell themselves, oh it was just a slap, this was his first time doing it, maybe he didnt mean it, and without realizing it end up sticking around, in turn, taking the abuse. And while they stick around, guess what? It happens again, for a second time, then a third time, and by now since no action has been taken, the woman gets conditioned into feeling as if she deserves it, just like Sara516 has mentioned above. It becomes the combination of abuse and your failed efforts to stop it, or rather, the failed efforts at not accepting it. She cant change him, only he can change himself or make the decision to stop being abusive. She can however only decide to not accept it anymore.