Its not right what they are doing. Next time they say something, smile. If they ask why you are smiling, nicely (but firmly) say: "I will pray for you girls. Because its not good for YOU guys to be so immature and indecent with your own family. I am so happy my BILs dont know you are like this, it would break their heart". Then shake your head and walk away. Keep it calm and polite, but to the point and act like the bigger person. Lead by example and if they realize they are being idiots, they might just stop and follw your lead.
I can understand how u feel, been through kind of the same thing. They might not ever change towards u, no matter how nice you are, they still will have a grudge, jelousy maybe? You have move forward and concentrate on making your relationship strong with ur hubby, if he's with you, you're gonna develop the strength within to ignore ur sillly SIL'S.
It is jealousy but more inclined towards self esteem. So you can see how low they can truly be!
But dont let it get on your nerves.. thats exactly what they want to see.. you totally worked up.. keep your cool. Help them out when you go over.. make sure the MIL has everything she needs when she comes over - talk to her about everything but never mention anything but good words for your SIL's..
I think u just need to stay away from ppl like ur sil's. One of my cousin's wife is the same way...she just needs a negative topic to talk abt and go against me. I have started to distanced myself from her.
I can identify with this..... one of my SILs (devrani) is very weird, she makes snide & tactless comments in such a way that I can't even reply back .... I'm too shocked, plus they're always sugar coated. However, my in-laws all recognize her for what she is (since they're nice folks).... so I'm least bothered now.
Although these days, I've cried twice because of her comments :(
Next time she makes a snide comment, ask her to repeat/clarify what she said. When she does, reply 'so youre say I'm....?(whatever she said) ' wait for their response, it might be a denial, it might be a justification, either way blatantly tell her you think its bad akhlaq, and is no way to speak to someone. Just give it to them.
If not, you could tell your husband to speak to their brothers, to speak to their wives. But that may or may not get the message across and might cause more problems than its worth, so use it as a last resort.
I like the first idea. Not the second because all it will do is cause issues between her and hubby.
One more thing, when you’re alone with them…why dont you say something to them? I dont see why you dont take advantage of your alone time and fight back. Obviously, they’re doing the same thing. When you’re with your MIL, say wonderful things about them…it will leave them baffled and they will never know what you’re upto.
OR you could simply be the nicest thing ever and let them run their mouths until they get tired. This takes a lot of patience and will power because there will be moments when you will want to slap them.
My hubby is not very close to his family, he prefers to stay away from them due to alot of issues they created for him as well as the fact that he married me, a love marriage. i think thats what the SIls play at cos they know the issues in the house and the comments made about me and him and they think they can say what they want
I have ignored alot, i will comment back when we're alone, ill make sure, its just harder to think of comments the way they do.
my MIL is no better. she says alot aswell, i wud never and havent ever commented back to her but it still gets to me.
apart from the FIL, who is a decent human being in the house, he seems to be a little distance no and again aswell wen the MIL has filled his ears about us.
we go to the in laws to keep up appearances and be nice always but we always always come back feelin like crap.
wow I have seen this sooo often, ‘aagay kuch, peechay kuch’ you cant believe its the same person…such hypocrites
I understand your issue 'coz I cant act this two way either. Since these SIL are a team, & seem more ‘chalaak’ than you, you cant win. Dont say anything bad about the inlaws even when you guys are alone coz you cant trust them. Just be yourself & dont worry too much about your MIL. If she doesnt recognize a true person then its her loss.
aww some people are just mean & ‘bila waja’ make others’ life miserable as if life itself isnt tough enough
& you are right…some evil comments are so sugar coated one is simply shocked & dont know what to say :hinna:
Even if you try to reply, they make it sound like they were talking in our interest…
hmmm maybe u need to get off my thread and make ur 'jokey' comments elsewhere. i posted for some advice not for ur pathetic comments...loser
wow, you're so negative.. I think it might be best to look at yourself first to see where you might be going wrong before you talk about your SIL's
Edited... Sabr ka phal meetha hota hai .. If you and hubby are happy then that is what matters, it will be very hard for you to win your in laws by trying to please them, just love them and do what you would do for your parents with them
And then the ladies made Red Ruby feel so much better by telling her what she wanted to hear Well except Confucius, and now lets see what Red Ruby has in store for her.
Red Ruby- 99.9% of your married life problems can b solved if your husband is supportive. In your case your husband is supportive masha allah ! Ignore the rest of the world. I know it's easier said than done but don't pay attention to those ladies you will only end up having grudges & negative feelings in your heart which in turn will affect you daily life , so what do you gain by taking stress & thinking about them ? People whom you spend like 2-3 hours ever week / every month are not worth your attention , even if they are wrong ignore them you will be better off believe me and you will be happier. In order to survive your marriage you have to learn to ignore , people around you can not be perfect , just concentrate on your spouse , like I said if your spouse is supporting the world is yours.
wow, you're so negative.. I think it might be best to look at yourself first to see where you might be going wrong before you talk about your SIL's
Edited... Sabr ka phal meetha hota hai .. If you and hubby are happy then that is what matters, it will be very hard for you to win your in laws by trying to please them, just love them and do what you would do for your parents with them
Aur haan.. women are womens worst enemy..
Conficus - thanks for ur comments. my comment above was a reply to someone who was being extremely mean and hurtful when all i did was ask for advice on a topic that has been difficult for me.
I have seen this sooo often, ‘aagay kuch, peechay kuch’ you cant believe its the same person…such hypocrites
some people are just mean & ‘bila waja’ make others’ life miserable as if life itself isnt tough enough