My hubby has 2 brothers who are married back home, both wives are here and have very different personalities… now my issue is
what iv noticed is that when we’re alone, us 3 SIL, their personalities come thru, one is snide but quiet, and the other is chatty and snide. no joke, but thats how they are. and i bear their nasty comments…another story
but when theyre infront of the inlaws and their hubbys they act like their mouth is glued shut. they act sooooooo gentle and innocent that they have trouble lifting their eyes and when they reply u can barely hear them.
what is this all about?
i, on the other hand, try to be normal in whatever situation, but have started to notice how i get no respect or appreciation, nothin new, but more so now that theyre here.
My hubby has 2 brothers who are married back home, both wives are here and have very different personalities...... now my issue is
what iv noticed is that when we're alone, us 3 SIL, their personalities come thru, one is snide but quiet, and the other is chatty and snide. no joke, but thats how they are. and i bear their nasty comments....another story
but when theyre infront of the inlaws and their hubbys they act like their mouth is glued shut. they act sooooooo gentle and innocent that they have trouble lifting their eyes and when they reply u can barely hear them.
what is this all about?
i, on the other hand, try to be normal in whatever situation, but have started to notice how i get no respect or appreciation, nothin new, but more so now that theyre here.
can you behave with your parents or in-laws just the way you behave with your friends.... just curious..
Treat your in-laws like your parents.. and your husband like your best friend. Rishte to nibhaane parte hain.. thats something you cant get out of but if theres one thing I've learnt in the long run thats to make sure that no matter what never confront anyone about what they do or say. Take advice from everyone but do as you please. & as far as being snide is concerned.. let them do whatever they think is best for them.. dont worry abt them too too much.. worry about your own self.. focus on your husband and your responsibilities to his parents.
oh yeah sayin nasty comments to me when no one is around then being like angels infront of the in laws and their husbands is very friend like.
I act the same with my parents and in laws. yeah friends we have different topics of discussions so cant compare
so what - its their mouth.. let them say whatever they want to yaar. Just make sure you either dont say anything or step away from there. The moment you open your mouth you'll be the one they'll be blaming for saying things that probably havent even come out of your mouth. Build a relationship with your MIL.. trust me that will give you every kind of confidence boost you ever need!!
trust me girls i have tried and tried with the MIL but she is so adamant on tryin to break me and my hubby. I have cooked cleaned invited her over to mine to stay time and time again. as far as im concerned i have tried to be a good bahu but now that her neices are both here....and one lives with her....im startin to have comments made to me
the SIL especially are cousins with each other and are a team. i on the other hand have become an outcast. what outrages me is how they portray themselves as butter wont melt
may be they think of you as a friend? its common that you have different topic/attitude in different gathering. rie k pahar na banoo :)
believe me they dont see me as a friend. if someone says to u 'when i saw ur face i got scared', u look awful.. etc etc doesnt sound friendly.
i wana know what comments i can make back to them to show um im not a walkover, not in front of in laws just with those 2. im not very good with comments especially to girls from pakistan
hmmm maybe u need to get off my thread and make ur 'jokey' comments elsewhere. i posted for some advice not for ur pathetic comments...loser
:)
see your own language changed in same thread just 10 posts later just because you were talking to person of different nature who is not talking what you want to talk. You were so "polite" in your first post just like you SIL are in front of your in-laws but you lost it when you did not get to read what you want to read
silence is the best medicine - both my devarani's come from similar backgrounds.. and managed to get along very well. I on the other hand come from a very different upbringing and was married into the family not knowing anyone - whenever it came to conflicts I stayed away and managed to stay quiet.. I'd talk to my husband and let him know but I wouldnt say anything myself. First things first.. your not living with them, if you had been it would have been different.. milo to aise milo ke kabhi phir nahi milo gi and when they come over entertain like you might not live to do it again.
Women love to talk, chitchat, backbite.. but staying out of it is always the best! My mom always says ke baat karne ka hamesha eik SAHI waqt hota hai.. eik sahi time - uss se pehle uss baat ka wazn khatam hojaata hai. You know all they say and do.. and if they try and use it against you INFRONT of you thats when you take a stand.. jo tumhare saamne nahi horaha uss ke baare mein itni fikar kyun?
Plus, they might not even be backbiting against you, just living with her neice might be making her choose them over you which is normal.. dont take it to heart so much.. ye energy kisi aur cheez per focus karo. Make sure you read namaz and make dua to Allah to open up their hearts towards you!
silence is the best medicine - both my devarani's come from similar backgrounds.. and managed to get along very well. I on the other hand come from a very different upbringing and was married into the family not knowing anyone - whenever it came to conflicts I stayed away and managed to stay quiet.. I'd talk to my husband and let him know but I wouldnt say anything myself. First things first.. your not living with them, if you had been it would have been different.. milo to aise milo ke kabhi phir nahi milo gi and when they come over entertain like you might not live to do it again.
Women love to talk, chitchat, backbite.. but staying out of it is always the best! My mom always says ke baat karne ka hamesha eik SAHI waqt hota hai.. eik sahi time - uss se pehle uss baat ka wazn khatam hojaata hai. You know all they say and do.. and if they try and use it against you INFRONT of you thats when you take a stand.. jo tumhare saamne nahi horaha uss ke baare mein itni fikar kyun?
Plus, they might not even be backbiting against you, just living with her neice might be making her choose them over you which is normal.. dont take it to heart so much.. ye energy kisi aur cheez per focus karo. Make sure you read namaz and make dua to Allah to open up their hearts towards you!
thanks mysti for ur comment...im glad someone is being decent.
iv never said anythin to anyone from day one. never, always been good with them but the fact taht the SIL think they can say what they like baffles me, when i have never made a comment to them
hmmm ur SILS are very juvenile.. how old are they,theyre just plain rude saying these things upfront to you.. so weird...
My sister is in the same situation :s is your husband the eldest of the brothers? then he must be ur MILS fave, in this setting thats a positive thing.
remedie: een neutral/good relation with ur MIL and distance with the SIL's...ignore them :s how long have they bene married now? it might change after a while
may be u really look awful? 