I am so sick of hearing all these stories about women not being able to do anything about their husbands cheating on them…n these are supposedly civilized (u would think not-so-horny) muslim men..what bothers me is that their wives cant do much about it. Even if they want to leave their husbands they dont because the guy that cheated on them is also their kids father. But would u really want ur kids to have that type of a dad? :-s I guess they dont mind..but I was talking to my mom n she kept saying what can they do. Their families back in Pakistan wont take them back happily, they arent educated enough to get a job n support themselves, usually they cant get married again. So basically theres nothing they can do? theres gotta be something sane ppl can do for them…if not on a large scale, I was wondering wat I can do just around michigan or even the detroit area..
I am like few classes away from graduation n I am THIS close to changing my major to law :-s I was just wondering if theres anything I can do without changing my career to help these women
ever tried hearing the other side of the story?? it can be a whole different world there bibi.
I am not saying that a man is not blame worthy, but hello give me a break, it can be even a woman cheating but to gather people's sympathy pretending that the husband is the ONLY gulity and causing any harm to the marriage.
hey ever watched 50 minutes on GEO TV.. I wonder if they can reveal the guys' story too.. 70% might be the man's fault but a woman do contribute for rest of the 30%.. I believe it does. :-)
maybe talk to them... u could join some muslim or womens organisation and help these women
i once had to deal with a girl who was my age and she got married to a guy 15 yrs older. Her parents sent her here without knowing anything about the "guy". He in the meantime was having an affair and this girl would get left home alone
neways.. my thaiya abu called us from pak and asked me to go talk to this gal considering she was my age
man, that was the worst day of my life. I was soo tired of hearing "mein kya karoon... mein kuch nahin kar sakthi" crap. Yes, I sympathised with the girl, but she needed to stick up for herself, get some help instead of crying bucket loads to any stranger
Unfortunately, the situations you describe are already beyond repair especially if these are women who are unable to financially support themselves. Only thing that can prevent such cases in the future is education. If some of these ladies were more educated they could actually make decisions for themselves. That is the root problem. Now whether they can stand up for their decisions, well that is the woman's own hands.
true...but just cause they didn't get a good education and are unable to support themselves now does not mean they should have to be damned to such a life.
I'm pretty sure there are a bunch of Muslim Women's Organizations that do help women when they run into trouble.
I used to have some info on this ..a few years back when I was helping a friend get through her divorce.
Whatever you do don't just abandon the poor girl cause it's more then you can handle or you think the situation's hopeless. At the very least get her access to whatever info and help you can.
What the hell use is the community and all the things our religion teaches us if we cannot help someone in need?
Yes, this is funny, you don’t need education to be able to get rid of your sleaze bag scum of the earth partner, be they male or female. You need enpowerment. Now wheither that be through education or a social mind change is a different debatable issue altogeather.
To beat society you have to work from within it and work your way out, what is behind treating this ish? And I assure you, the whipped husband is not just a bollywood myth, think of the guy yo and then when ur at it, do not lable the woman as the perpetual victim. I know many who dish out way more than they recieve.
And while you are there, don’t judge/condem the guy, they say sometimes that adultry is sweet escape.
There must have been something wrong in the relationship to begin with.
IN New York there is an organization called Sakhi, which provides counseling and channels for employment in such abusive situations.
Goes back to my point about women having financial independence and career aspirations. An asshole husband who does this kind of thing will think twice because his wife would be able to take the kids and go and support herself without bing shackled by tradition and capabilities.
Treat your sons and daughters the same and allow them the same opportunities to exploit their capabilities, such stupidity would stop.
we have got a strong social network and organizations here and mostly eastren women are very independent here and those who are not get a lot of help :k:…if u have courage to live on ur own and know what u want there is always a way but i guess most pakistani ladies are afraid of being alone and depends too much on theirs husbands.
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*Originally posted by Gemini the Great: *
ever tried hearing the other side of the story?? it can be a whole different world there bibi.
I am not saying that a man is not blame worthy, but hello give me a break, it can be even a woman cheating but to gather people's sympathy pretending that the husband is the ONLY gulity and causing any harm to the marriage.
hey ever watched 50 minutes on GEO TV.. I wonder if they can reveal the guys' story too.. 70% might be the man's fault but a woman do contribute for rest of the 30%.. I believe it does. :-)
PS: dun even think that I am a guy. :-p
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hmmm....GtG, two wrongs don't make a right yaar....
an extra marital affair is WRONG...simple
yes wives can be a party to souring the marriage too...and if that is the case, he should leave her first, and then get involved with someone else....but CHEATING on her is just wrong, no matter what
[QUOTE] Originally posted by ~Tikhi Jalebi~: *
**But would u really want ur kids to have that type of a dad? *
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you cant just have a new dad for your kids, HE will always be their father anyway :)
regarding cheating, what do u exactly call 'cheating'? having sex or spending time with someone else or having an other secret marriage? whatever it is she has to discuss it with him and try to find the reasons behind it. Things like these dont start over night and please dont take exceptions in it. not every man a jerk stalking every other women around, right? beleive me, there are plenty of women doing the same. One has to really understand eachother before kids, once you have its way too difficult to go for seperation. then must try to resolve the matter on your own or otherwise bring family in it. Divorce is not the first option to consider in a case like this.
And as Mother Tressa said once. At the end, its's between God and them and not with you and them anyway. so better be nice and try to find the way out which is good for whole family.
hmmm....GtG, two wrongs don't make a right yaar....
an extra marital affair is WRONG...simple
yes wives can be a party to souring the marriage too...and if that is the case, he should leave her first, and then get involved with someone else....but CHEATING on her is just wrong, no matter what
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she said that cheating is not exclusive to men alone so why single out them....i agree to your views otherwise.
Well, personally speaking, If I find my husband cheating on me, I 'll proly give him a warning and tell him not to do it again and if still catch him, (thats if I do, desi husband are very hoshiyaar and hardly ever get caught ) I’ll proly give him 2 chances and If I catch him the third time, then he’s out the door.
Islamically speaking, I thought that marital infidelity nullifies the marriage? So unless I’m wrong, which I may be, your marriage would legally end if your husband cheated on you (physically)
Islamically speaking, I thought that marital infidelity nullifies the marriage? So unless I'm wrong, which I may be, your marriage would legally end if your husband cheated on you (physically)
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) I’ll proly give him 2 chances and If I catch him the third time, then he’s out the door.